Jolly Rodgers Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I saw this on another board and I thought I would share. I think some are pretty much on target. "We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory. Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle. Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car. Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions. Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed. Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery. Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him. Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson. Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it. Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players. Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him. Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season. Matt Leinert – He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit. Matt Hasselbeck – He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car. Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting. J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely. Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying. Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh. Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down. Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is. Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn. Charlie Frye – Trent Dilfer would take over the team, win a Super Bowl, and then get benched when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass. Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young... Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains. David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday. Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy. Aaron Brooks – They would fire Art Shell. Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all. Jake Plummer – He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menudo Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions. Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it. Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players. Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down. Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is. Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn. Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass. Very well done !!!! I quoted the ones I liked the most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thrash-494 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 That just made my day, especially the Manning and Brady ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XXXXX Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I loved the Bledsoe and McNabb ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loaf Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Trent Dilfer is not in Cleveland anymore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menudo Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Trent Dilfer is not in Cleveland anymore No one pays attention to who is or isn't on your insignificant team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutch Oven Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Good stuff. Liked the Bulger and Leftwich ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKF Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primetime9287 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I would have liked to see one of these for Tedy Bruschi also... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MustOfBeenDrunk Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steeltown Dre Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I would have liked to see one of these for Tedy Bruschi also... I was just going to say that - instead of Angels descending to save Tom, Tedy Bruschi would ride on a white stallion past the bike as it was about to fall and snatch Tom Brady, caressing Tom gently into his bosom. Before Tom's bike had a chance to hit the other car, Tedy would have grabbed it, while caressing Tom, disassembled it into it's individual parts, melted them and forged a new structure. Transforming the bike from a dangerous motorcycle into a youth center for poor children and their puppies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nhoops Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I was just going to say that - instead of Angels descending to save Tom, Tedy Bruschi would ride on a white stallion past the bike as it was about to fall and snatch Tom Brady, caressing Tom gently into his bosom. Before Tom's bike had a chance to hit the other car, Tedy would have grabbed it, while caressing Tom, disassembled it into it's individual parts, melted them and forged a new structure. Transforming the bike from a dangerous motorcycle into a youth center for poor children and their puppies. Yeah so? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarge5121976 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Josh McCown – Joey Harrington would get blamed. Fixed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaw23 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 That was very funny! I also did assume Tedy Bruschi would be the one to come in and save Tom Brady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I saw this on another board and I thought I would share. I think some are pretty much on target. "We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory. Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle. Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed. Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery. Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting. Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh. Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn. " My favs..... The Palmer one was the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjpro11 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 great stuff.. that guy is good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Funny, but I don't get the P Manning one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I saw this on another board and I thought I would share. I think some are pretty much on target. "We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory. Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it. Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season. Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down. Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn. David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday." These were my favorites Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralph Furley Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains. [/i] I love this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogohawk Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Good stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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