crispirons Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 leinerts best chance against the bears is what every human should do when confronted with a "live" bear. lay down and play dead. he might still get mauled a little but the bears might lose interest if there prey appears dead. good luck cardinals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMD Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 I think their best chance involves either firearms or a freak sandstorm only when CHI has the ball. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CD6405 Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 We all know Bears are godless killing machines, they are unamerican. They are on the same levels of terrorists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 I thought maybe the Bears' plane had crashed, and the surivivors were playing with casts and crutches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 On a more serious fantasy note...(conceding the fact the Bears will win).....will Lienhart, Boldin and Bryant Johnson be able to clean up with points playing catchup and geting slop at the end of the game? Specifically, Bryant Johnson, cause I picked him up off waivers...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 We all know Bears are godless killing machines, they are unamerican. They are on the same levels of terrorists. You said it! The league-leading Chicago Bears defense, which overpowered and dominated the Seattle Seahawks last Sunday en route to a 37-6 victory, took time after the game to emphasize that they would not have had the extra energy needed to hold the Seattle offense to a mere two field goals if it weren't for the mass cannibalization of nearly 60,000 of their hometown fans. Enlarge ImageHungry Bears Defense R "Without a doubt, these are the best fans in the world," said Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, who said that without the rush he received from the supportive, nutrient-rich Bears fans he devoured during the game, he would not have had the strength to make seven tackles during the game, five of which were unassisted. "They gave us what we needed to play hard all four quarters, and this win is definitely for them," continued Urlacher, pointing to a section of empty, blood-stained seats that still housed the uneaten portions of dozens of loyal fans. "Mmmm," Urlacher added. "When I hear that crowd screaming, it just makes me hungrier and hungrier," said Bears nickelback Ricky Manning Jr., who had four tackles against the Seahawks, and credits the 19 beta-keratin-rich fans he ate for his ability to see Matt Hasslebeck's eyes, aiding him in making two key interceptions. "Many people say that your crowd doesn't make a difference, but in well-fed, nutrient-rich Chicago, that certainly isn't the case." "They're simply the best," Manning added, licking his blood-encrusted teeth, the remnants of a gnarled human index finger still wedged in the gap of his two incisors. Bears fans are renowned as some of the largest, most well-rounded, vitamin-laden fans throughout the National Football League. Although the NFL does not keep statistics on the nutrition content of its crowds, conventional wisdom holds that the amount of protein in the Soldier Field crowd, thought to be double the league average, has allowed Bears defenses throughout history to quickly build and repair stressed muscle tissue during grueling 16-game seasons. "There is no question that they keep us going down the stretch," said 300-pound defensive tackle Tank Johnson, who says he gets a rush of energy from the women and children in attendance when he chews open their stomachs to consume any leftover carbohydrates stored in their digestive systems and the belly fat of their abdominal cavities before gulping down their cheeks and the flesh around their eye sockets, which he says gives him the necessary supplement of the L-cysteine amino acid. "The sacrifice these fans make, especially the ones who travel to the away games… It just hits you right in the gut." ""I've heard from guys who play in Miami, Tampa Bay, and Minnesota, and they all complain that their fans just aren't as good as ours," added Johnson with a slight belch brought on by the high fat content of a fan who used to sit right behind the goalpost. 302-pound defensive lineman Ian Scott agreed with his teammates, saying that there is just something different about the heart of a Bears fan that is different from that of any other in the league. "It isn't just their heart—it's their nutrient-rich kidneys and livers, too, that make them such an integral part of the game," said Scott, who along with safety Mike Brown, linebacker Lance Briggs, and cornerback Charles Tillman, tends to enjoy the fleshy calf and thigh muscles first while coating their exposed skin with the excess fat adhering to fans' bones in order to keep themselves warm during brutal Chicago winters. "I don't know how many times opposing quarterbacks have been unnerved by our unique relationship with the good, tender, juicy people of Chicago, and have thrown an interception or fumbled a snap because of it." "I can't imagine eating any other fans, and I hope I never have to," Scott added. With the Bears jumping quickly out of the gate with a 4-0 record, many in Chicago are talking Super Bowl, and though head coach Lovie Smith said he plans to take it one game at a time, he knows the benefit of having a home-crowd presence on the world's grandest stage. "Hopefully we can pack the stadium in Miami with Bears fans," Smith said. "It'd be great to have their unique Soldier Field flavor with us to help get us through the big one without a hiccup." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 On a more serious fantasy note...(conceding the fact the Bears will win).....will Lienhart, Boldin and Bryant Johnson be able to clean up with points playing catchup and geting slop at the end of the game? Specifically, Bryant Johnson, cause I picked him up off waivers...... About the only team/player I've seen get any garbage points off that defense was Ahman Green in the first game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 About the only team/player I've seen get any garbage points off that defense was Ahman Green in the first game. The D was really pissed about the TD they conceded against Buffalo last week. I guess that doesn't count as a garbage TD though because the D starters were all still out there trying to preserve the shutout. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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