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Draft Day Smack Talk


spain
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Give me some of your best draft day smack talk. I want to see some of the best trash talk, quips, one liners, etc that you have used or heard at one of your drafts. These could be featured on a website a friend of mine is starting up. So fire away with your best lines and trash talk at your drafts.

Edited by spain
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i usually talk people up before the draft, like saying:

 

From what i heard on ESPN just now, i'm definitely staying away from [player] even if they say that he SHOULD be ok.

 

or

 

Man that injury i just heard about doesn't look good. Even if it's not too serious, those kinds of things linger the whole season.

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"...and with the first pick in the 2nd round, the Tennesse titans select Lendale White... (tagliabue), is this right? Coach Fisher? You want lendale instead of Maurice Jones Drew? Well okay then, Lendale chunky butt doughnut chubby slow as hell white to the Titans..."

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Wait a minute ... who's that?

Okay, I found him on the bottom of page 3 of my list.

 

 

Great stuff!! I've used that one before.

 

I always like to ask, "Isn't he retired?"

 

A simple Ooooff!! says alot.

 

Saying, "You might want to try keeping up he was taken (insert number of rounds) ago." and then watch them scramble. :D

 

After someone makes a bad pick, just say, "Well at least that narrows down the number of potential playoff teams."

 

I always like to look around the room and point at a guy's materials (cheat sheet, magazine, etc.) and say, "You're using THAT to draft your team?" Then walk away shaking my head and laughing.

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...I'll take player X

 

...Busssst

 

 

 

After drafting WR, WR, QB for the first three rounds.....so, going with the ole Run-N-Shoot are we....Enjoy the Toilet Bowl.

 

 

To my wife one year...."You draft like a girl".....she won the title that year and I have yet to live it down. I'll be in a draft on-line and she'll walk by-"Be sure and draft like a girl now."

 

:D

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To my wife one year...."You draft like a girl".....she won the title that year and I have yet to live it down. I'll be in a draft on-line and she'll walk by-"Be sure and draft like a girl now."

 

:D

 

 

:D

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What position does he play again?

 

Edit to add:

Using Rodney Dangerfield's voice: "nice pick, he'll look good on your team though" while turning head and rolling eyes

 

Sitting at my desk at work and just began roaring...what a classic Caddyshack scene! :D

 

Also agree with Irish...a simple "ooof!" saus an awful lot. As long as you don't say anything else.

 

"We don't draft punters MORAN!"

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"I like how your team is shaping up, as well. Looks like we've got a second league we are in together of which you will be my b%&*h again!" -response to leaguemate who claimed "I like how my team is shaping up"

 

"I'm just glad that from now until the end of time, I get to say "Hey, remember that time you drafted a dead guy?" -response to a newbie drafting Darrent Williams

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" The jerk store called and their running out of you "

 

" You want to have sex with me after the draft ?? , sorry I don't sleep with league members "

 

" President musharaf is a friend of america "

 

" No I am not wearing a thong "

 

and my favorite ; " excuse me while I whip this out "

 

 

On a serious note my leagues do not have as much trash talking as they should but quite will hear something like " thanks for your contribution , we have some lovely parting gifts for you"

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A few years back a guy in one of my leagues cornered the market on all of the Rams key players, eliciting this comment...

 

Wow, you're like one of them Savants or something... see ya in the Toiletbowl idiot.

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