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How involved is David Dorey?


arnoldg3
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David Dorey was once bitten in the thumb by a radioactive fire ant. This gave him incredible crawly and bitey powers. So while he still graces us occassionally with his FF powers of prognostication, he spends most of his time now crawling and biting evil-doers in the name of JUSTICE!

 

He is also capable of carrying a 10 story building on his back, and in his free time enjoys building things out of rubble and searching disaster areas for casualty victims that he can also carry off for "proper burial."

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I once looked in David Dorey's closet and gazed upon the colors of polo and cried about the Double Rainbow. I asked what color several shirts were and he only replied....I will bring these colors to the universe in my own time. Humans are not ready for these revelations. I don't know what that meant but it scared me, too. I now live with the fact that fear has it's own color.

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I once looked in David Dorey's closet and gazed upon the colors of polo and cried about the Double Rainbow. I asked what color several shirts were and he only replied....I will bring these colors to the universe in my own time. Humans are not ready for these revelations. I don't know what that meant but it scared me, too. I now live with the fact that fear has it's own color.

:tup: Or that you don't have a Members Only jacket in that color? :wacko:

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Welcome to the site! You'll quickly find out that this is more than just a fantasy football website, it is a community that is unparallelled to any out on the internet (minus the Rule #34 support group). It's good to have you join. If you need anything at all, just let me know :wacko:

 

 

 

 

arnoldg3, this is very true. I advise that you put some electrical tape over your laptop camera. I'm still being blacked mailed for an indiscretion I had with a turtle and a bucket of KFC.

 

We all know that wasn't a litte turtle's head, we could clearly see your bare pelvis in that shot.

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Amazing Dave

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now I'm found

Was blind, but now I see

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:tup: To explain the "See no evil" by hiding your eyes in your photo? :wacko:

Yeah, that's it. And it explains a lot about some of my past predictions as well.

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Mr. Dorey was once a football coach. He was tough as nails. Legend has it, one half time he felt his team was playing a bit soft. So he went to a locker where he pulled out an full grown Salt Water Croc. He proceeded to hold the croc with one hand while pulling his pants down and proceeded to pump a way at the nashing jaws of the Croc with his enourmous tool. Blood was flying everywhere and the team was shocked as he was yelling at his players gritting his teeth saying "yahhh, yahhh". He then proceed to poke the Croc in the eyes so he would let go and slammed him back into the locker. He was enraged as he pulled his pants up and issued a challenge to his team. He ask if anyone could show him that kind of toughness in the second half.

 

One player raised his hand and said. I will coach, if you promise not to poke me in the eyes!

 

The players name was Jeff Garcia. The rest is history............

Edited by Cowboyz1
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Basically, David Dorey's origins are not well documented but what we believe is that when he was born the Fantasy Football gods plucked him from his mother and fused his organic nervous system within a highly classified indo-skeleton that was being designed by Boeing for a program to develop the perfect fullback. When he turned 16 years old he began to notice that he has super-human strength and acumen towards fantasy football. Case in point, Joe Namath guaranteed victory over the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III based solely on a passing comment by David. Little known fact here, when Namath threw up the #1 sign with his finger, he wasn't saying the Jets were number 1, he was giving thanks and praise to David.

 

During the 80s, David accurately predicted every single games final score, each players statistics and, in a display that stunned the football world, predicted who would be injuries and how their backup would perform - all of this was done simply by drinking a beer. As the 90s dawned, fantasy football took off and more and more owners flocked to David house for advice. Who should I draft, how much should I spend, who should I start and so on. While his superior, integrated brain/processor easily churned out the information he realized that if he were to ever be fully accepted in his community as a normal person, he would need to display flaws.

 

Immediately, he flew away and began a 6 month long training programs that would condition his mind to accept rooting for and supporting of one of the worst teams ever conceived - The Dreaded Dallas Cowboys. It was tough going because his integrated programming would not allow for a process such as rooting for the Cowpaddies to execute, it kept conflicting with his mission. But, after 6 months of watching Cowboy games recorded on Beta and VHS coupled with weeks and weeks of King of the Hill reruns, he managed to write a subroutine in his programming that allowed for him to root for an obvious, horrible and sometimes lame team.

 

Upon his return to his neighborhood people noticed a difference. More rednecks started to set up camp in his front yard and displayed horrible Cowboy logos on their campers. Dorey, in his compassion for mortals, high class and low, spoke directly with some of the rednecks. One redneck in particular, named 'Tim' traveled all the way from Virginia just to see David. He was so excited that he gave David a pair of colt pistols that were used in the Civil War. David was so excited that he went inside and began examining the pistols. However, one pistol was loaded and it fired at him. Normally, the bullets would simply bounce off of his indo-skeleton frame but as chance would have it the bullet fractured and a sliver enter his organic brain damaging his speech region.

 

In a state of panic, David did the only thing he could do and fused his brain with the internet. Hence, the rise of The Huddle.

 

Fin

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arnoldg3, I hope your paying attention. Consider this thread your own personal training camp/rookie hazing. You can also be proud, unknowingly you may have touched off one of the classic threads of the year!

 

Stick around rook, it gets much better too. Lot of guys are still sleep at the wheel. Just wait til the season kicks off. That's when the big guns come out as we go at eachother. :wacko:

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What's amazing to me is that DMD single handedly made Doc Chargerz close up his shorty bath robe for the first time in years while surfing the innernet.

Not true. I surf the internet in the nude. :wacko:

Edited by Chargerz
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