stevegrab Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I dont think so. Seems like most of us are in agreement that this alleged event likely was a thrill for the student and a memory he'll (dare I say)cherish rather than suppress. I would say we're also likely all assuming this is a "normal" kid, though, who is into "normal" stuff and probably out chasing tail all the time anyways. I suppose its possible some sort of shy kid or a kid with some sort of mental health problems could have some negative issues as a result. I dont know. Maybe Jones is kinda twisted and gets some kind of turn-on out of making a nervous kid squirm. Doubtful, but possible I guess. I would think something is not quite right when a woman (who is plenty good looking enough to attract men her own age or older) pursues a younger male that would seemingly not be able to offer her much outside of the physical. Just playing DA a little bit... I am with you that this is a hugh double-standard, though, too. If the teacher was male and the student female, we're all quicker to cry foul (and rightly so). And this case seems easy to call because its a hot-ish cheerleader type woman. What if it was some old hag or even a nun? Do we still automatically assume the boy enjoys it? Maybe. Maybe not. Because of that, safest just to say adults can not be having sex with minors and teachers can not be having sex with students (even if the student is of age and/or consenting). That is a relationship that is best kept professional, IMO. I agree its a double standard, but not quote sure why its ok, or why people are quicker to call foul when the teacher is male and the student female. And why is it right to do that? (Maybe that's your point, we shouldn't be ok with it.) Don't you think there are plenty of teenage girls into sex, who think that doing it with an older man, say a teacher or other person they look up to isn't just another notch on their belts? Or is it because the female attaches more emotional stuff to having sex? I'm not even sure it that's true either, based on some things I hear/read. Personally I think its wrong either way. Would we as teenage boys be thrilled to be having sex with almost any girl, let alone an attractive slightly older one? Does that make it any more legal or right? As kids I'm sure we would have thought it was cool if our parents let us drink or do drugs, but as adults now I think we'd be against that. Just my 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I agree its a double standard, but not quote sure why its ok, or why people are quicker to call foul when the teacher is male and the student female. And why is it right to do that? (Maybe that's your point, we shouldn't be ok with it.) Don't you think there are plenty of teenage girls into sex, who think that doing it with an older man, say a teacher or other person they look up to isn't just another notch on their belts? Or is it because the female attaches more emotional stuff to having sex? I'm not even sure it that's true either, based on some things I hear/read. Personally I think its wrong either way. Would we as teenage boys be thrilled to be having sex with almost any girl, let alone an attractive slightly older one? Does that make it any more legal or right? As kids I'm sure we would have thought it was cool if our parents let us drink or do drugs, but as adults now I think we'd be against that. Just my 2 cents. Men are considered the horny aggressors in our society, and females the innocent victims. Anyone who's lived in the real world knows this is far from being an absolute truth 100% of the time, but popular attitudes reflect this mindset. The law isn't set up to determine if an underage girl is a whore who was begging for it, or if a boy was naive and seduced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Men are considered the horny aggressors in our society, and females the innocent victims. Anyone who's lived in the real world knows this is far from being an absolute truth 100% of the time, but popular attitudes reflect this mindset. The law isn't set up to determine if an underage girl is a whore who was begging for it, or if a boy was naive and seduced. 24 yr olds shouldn't be having sex with 16 yr olds. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainHook Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Do we still automatically assume the boy enjoys it? yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Irish Doggy Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Gods, some of you people need to get a grip on assuming the boy enjoyed the (alleged) relationship. Who knows what is really going on here and what was consensual, coerced, etc.? The cognitive gap between these two ages is hugh. By definition, the older person is in control of the relationship - especially in this case as the accused is in a position of authority. That the kid's family is not cooperating may be a sign of embarrassment - that they "just want the problem to go away" - rather than supporting the accused. It's fun to think about a consensual fling with an older lady as a teen, but the reality is much different than the fantasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Gods, some of you people need to get a grip on assuming the boy enjoyed the (alleged) relationship. Who knows what is really going on here and what was consensual, coerced, etc.? The cognitive gap between these two ages is hugh. By definition, the older person is in control of the relationship - especially in this case as the accused is in a position of authority. That the kid's family is not cooperating may be a sign of embarrassment - that they "just want the problem to go away" - rather than supporting the accused. It's fun to think about a consensual fling with an older lady as a teen, but the reality is much different than the fantasy. Not only is the kid not cooperating but his family sat with the teacher's family at the court hearing. I would think that if a child was truly victimized here, the desire for justice would outweigh the embarrassment. Isn't it possible that there was a mutual attraction, the relationship happened without coercion, ended on good terms, and the kid suffered no trauma? I should mention that I dated a 24-year-old coworker when I was 17 for about 7 months and it was a pretty great experience. Granted she was not in a position of authority over me...just saying, the age difference isn't automatically a horrendous thing in every case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevegrab Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 matt770, That may be true in this case, and your case I think the point some are making is that while there seems to be a double standard when the underaged is a male and the older person female, there shouldn't be. Nor should we assume that one case is consensual and the other isn't. I think godtomsatan said it best "24 yr olds shouldn't be having sex with 16 yr olds" And its even worse if the older person has some authority (e.g. teacher) over the underaged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) Not only is the kid not cooperating but his family sat with the teacher's family at the court hearing. I would think that if a child was truly victimized here, the desire for justice would outweigh the embarrassment. Isn't it possible that there was a mutual attraction, the relationship happened without coercion, ended on good terms, and the kid suffered no trauma? The woman was a school teacher. It doesn't matter whether there was a mutual attraction or not. She had two options to deal with the situation. 1) Not have sex with him. 2) Not have sex with him until he was not a student anymore. It's predatory behavior regardless of how harmless you want to make it. Edited April 3, 2012 by godtomsatan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazysight Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 You speculate that its predatory, that may not be the case. People will be people during their encounters in life, regardless of the nature of their relationships to each other, all the same, and attraction between two people will be what it will be all the same. That said, the right thing for her to say even if there was mutual attraction and he was the aggressor would have simply been 'no' for the reasons mentioned. The big head needs to think harder than the little head in women too. We do throw the book too hard at adults who find themselves in these situations and for whatever reason don't make the lawful decision, however. It reeks of witch-hunting and villagers raising pitchforks and torches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevegrab Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 You speculate that its predatory, that may not be the case. People will be people during their encounters in life, regardless of the nature of their relationships to each other, all the same, and attraction between two people will be what it will be all the same. That said, the right thing for her to say even if there was mutual attraction and he was the aggressor would have simply been 'no' for the reasons mentioned. The big head needs to think harder than the little head in women too. We do throw the book too hard at adults who find themselves in these situations and for whatever reason don't make the lawful decision, however. It reeks of witch-hunting and villagers raising pitchforks and torches. I agree with everything but the bolded part. Witch hunting was often done with little no evidence of wrong doing. Done out of fear of the unknown. There is at least some evidence, and if she is convicted then evidence enough to prove that she broke the law. Adults need to be adults, and not have sex with underage kids, particularly ones they have some kind of relationship of power (teacher, priest, etc.). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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