KFAN Mock

[Outshined]

1. San Francisco Alex Smith | QB | Utah

Ken Dorsey will have to take his big ears back to the bench.

 

 

2. Miami Ronnie Brown | RB | Auburn

Chances Brown ends up at a holistic healing center after touring Asia smoking Josh Gordon…slim to none.

 

 

3. Cleveland Aaron Rodgers | QB | California

What is a Brown anyway? Some team should be called the Pandas or the Hippos. That would be a cool team.

 

 

4. Chicago Braylon Edwards | WR | Michigan

Edwards and Moose may end up being best wide receiver combo in NFC North if Vikings don't make a big splash in the draft.

 

 

5. Tampa Bay Carnell Williams | RB | Auburn

Have fun with Hovan, Cadillac. Good luck.

 

 

6. Tennessee Antrel Rolle | CB | Miami

Tennessee gave their entire team away, so you have to start somewhere. Lose one Rolle, gain another. Do I dare say 'Rolle reversal?' Stupid. I apologize.

 

 

7. VIKINGS Mike Williams | WR | Southern Cal

Cool.

 

 

8. Arizona Cedric Benson | RB | Texas

Denny wants a running back. Denny gets Ricky Williams II.

 

 

9. Washington Adam Jones | CB | West Virginia

I assume his girlfriend is Ms. Pac-Man. Ms. Pac-Man was an inferior game to the regular Pac-Man.

 

 

10. Detroit Marcus Spears | DE | LSU

Kevin Jones, Roy Williams, Charles Rogers, Marcus Pollard…might as well draft defense. This just in…Joey Harrington, not good.

 

 

11. Dallas Shawne Merriman | DE/LB | Maryland

Bill Parcells is so frickin' done. Final year, and then he's walking away. He doesn't lose, but the Cowboys do, and that isn't going to sit well with him.

 

 

12. San Diego Derrick Johnson | LB | Texas

The Giants handed them this pick for Eli Manning. They need a receiver, but it would be a stretch to take one here. They probably will move down and get a receiver or stay put and roll the dice on Johnson.

 

 

13. Houston Alex Barron | T | Florida State

Mel Kiper told me so. And by "me", I mean everyone that reads ESPN.com.

 

 

14. Carolina Troy Williamson | WR | South Carolina

He's lightning-fast. Let's hope he isn't just another Carolina receiver that ends up in a trunk.

 

 

15. Kansas City David Pollack | DE | Georgia

Is he Polish? If so, I'd love to sell him screen doors to his submarine.

 

 

16. New Orleans Jammal Brown | T | Oklahoma

He'll always be haunted by the ghost of Kyle Turley.

 

 

 

17. Cincinnati Travis Johnson | DT | Florida State

'Travis Johnson' sounds a guy who should be riding dirt bikes in North Branch, not playing NFL football.

 

 

18. VIKINGS Erasmus James | DE | Wisconsin

Between Kenechi and Erasmus, the Vikings would be a frontrunner in the weird name contest.

 

 

19. St. Louis Dan Cody | DE | Oklahoma

Not to be confused with Shaun Cody.

 

 

20. Dallas Shaun Cody | DT | Southern California

Not to be confused with Dan Cody.

 

 

21. Jacksonville

Khalif Barnes | T | Washington

Offensive lineman are important as hell, but they are boring picks. This pick makes me sleepy.

 

 

22. Baltimore Roddy White | WR | Alabama-Birmingham

I'd rather watch Rod Roddy than Roddy White play receiver, and Rod Roddy's dead.

 

 

23. Seattle Heath Miller | TE | Virginia

I don't trust anyone named after a bad candy bar.

 

 

24. Green Bay Channing Crowder | LB | Florida

What's with all the weird names this year? This is getting to be re-gott-darn-diculous.

 

 

25. Denver Thomas Davis | S | Georgia

They lost Kenoy Kennedy, so they need another guy that will take your head off and hang it on the wall, like Elijah Wood in Sin City.

 

 

26. N.Y. Jets Carlos Rogers | CB | Auburn

I can't lie. I have no idea who he is.

 

 

27. Atlanta Fabian Washington | CB | Nebraska

You like fast guys? Speedy McSpeedster will fit in nicely with Vick and Co.

 

 

28. San Diego Mark Clayton | WR | Oklahoma

Sure, Antonio Gates is the bomb, but who else will Brees throw to? Mark Clayton. Good for you, give yourself a bonus point. (Editor's note: Dude, if you're going to quiz us, you've got to give us time to guess.)

 

 

29. Indianapolis Matt Roth | DE | Iowa

Those Iowa kids are shifty, and I mean that in a creepy way.

 

 

30. Pittsburgh Marlin Jackson | CB | Michigan

Now we are naming kids after fish.

 

 

31. Philadelphia Matt Jones | WR | Oklahoma

ESPN's Chris Mortenson says Matt Jones is the best overall player in the draft. Dramatic pause…Mortenson is an idiot.

 

 

32. New England Brodney Pool or Rhys Lloyd

I'll let you guess which one.

[Big Red]

Again, the Ravens WON'T take a WR with their first pick. Mason, Heap, Moore (2004 pick), Hymes and Darling (2004 pick) will be their go to guys.

 

Mason is the #1

Moore/Hymes are the 2/3 (order to be determined in camp)

Darling is 4 with a chance to move up

5th is all that's left, and that's not a 1st round pick.

[geeteebee]

Don't think SF takes Smith over Rodgers.

 

If both Merriman and Johnson are on the board for the Boys, I think they go Johnson.

 

Didn't know Matt Jones went to OU.

[Chargerz]

There is no way this mock is accurate as far as the Bolts are concerned! It doesn't address San Diego's defensive line needs.

[Yukon Cornelius]

man i hope the vikes dont take williams

[Jolly Rodgers]

Again, no way Gruden passes on Mike Williams.

[Fat Buster]

Ms. Pac-man was way better than Pac-man!

[Wally]

Matt Jones went to Arkansas.

 

Dramatic pause........the author of this article is an idiot.