THE SIX KINGS Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 The Tao of Ricky Will he? Won't he? Should he? Shouldn't he? His agent, Leigh Steinberg, says yes. His coach, Nick Saban, says maybe. But after you've reached the fifth level of consciousness (or whatever other altered state Ricky Williams is in these days), does it really matter? Ricky's path to enlightenment apparently goes through the NFL. Still, inquiring minds want to know: Is Ricky coming back to the Miami Dolphins this year? For the record, Ricky, in an e-mail to SI.com, says, "I honestly don't know." Well, hold your hippogriffs, Hagrid! What a surprise. Ricky goes on to tell SI.com that (choose one): A) He's a licensed yoga instructor now; He hangs out regularly with his own personal swami; C) He took a year off from football to get a hold on his life; or D) All of the above. That's right: Take the D-Train. "I felt like I was renting my life, and I needed to make a down payment and stop wasting my money," he told SI.com. That certainly clears it up, doesn't it? Maybe this will help. Page 2 spent the last ... oh, two or three minutes hot on Ricky's trail and discovered a dusty, tattered notebook in a trash receptacle behind Ricky's rented room in Nevada City, Calif. Turns out it contains the journal of his year-long journey toward enlightenment and his path back to the center of his being . . . or even his path back to a spot behind his center (and quarterback). Read it. Learn it. Live it. July 30, 2004 Touring with Lenny Kravitz is cool and everything, but there's only so many times you can hear him cover "American Woman" before you go insane. August 11, 2004 I don't regret my decision to leave football, but sometimes I miss it a little bit. Like how the Miami Dolphins' playbook could be made into 4,325 separate pieces of rolling paper. That stuff doesn't grow on trees, you know ... wait a minute ... whoa! September 24, 2004 Major buzz kill. I just found out that some judge says I have to pay back $8.6 million to the Dolphins. October 9, 2004 It's amazing to me that with how much my life has changed in the past few months, so many things I used to be a part of have stayed exactly the same. For example, Texas lost to Oklahoma today. October 11, 2004 I always thought it strange that people thought I wore my helmet and eye shield during interviews because I was shy, never realizing it was because I wanted to hide my bloodshot eyes. October 14, 2004 Finally touched down in Delhi. Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC. Man, I had a dreadful flight. Chanted – had to shout it, really – the mantra for a good 40 minutes or so during the worst of the turbulence. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishana. Only thing that got me through was that and the George Harrison mix tape that Sinead gave me. Thanks, dude. October 15, 2004 Can't wait to get to the underground clubs here and groove the sitar vibe. That Ravi Shankar rocks! October 17, 2004 The Dolphins are 0-6 now. And they said I was the stupid one to retire. I bet each and every one of them wishes they were retired, too, sitting right here with me not worrying about the NFL's drug-testing laws. November 13, 2004 Just when I think the world is too unkind, just when I think no one understands me, I pull up to the Jack In The Box and there he is – a smiling, big-headed friend with a tinny voice, saying, "Can I take your order, sir?" It just felt so good to hear those words, you know? And did you know you can get two tacos for 99 cents? It felt like I was home again. I mean, two tacos for 99 cents! For a guy with the munchies? That's too good for words. November 14, 2004 Dude, where's my car? November 15, 2004 Oh, yeah – I don't have a car anymore. November 19, 2004 Had the dream again last night. While my swami was helping me channel my soul towards inner peace, he also predicted that the Dolphins would lose at Seattle this weekend. That's the third time that's happened this month. When I speak to swami later on, he claims to have no knowledge of these predictions. Yeah, right. Give it up, dude. I'm done with football. November 22, 2004 OK, my bad. I finally figured it out. Turns out I accidentally left on "NFL Countdown" while I was mediating. Yeah, it was the Swami talking – but it wasn't my man, swami Sitaramanda, it was Chris Berman. Good pick, Boomer, the Fins' karma got run over by Seattle's dogma. But what do I care? November 29, 2004 Bangkok today. Nice place. Picked up some awesome reef on the street. Monday afternoon, though, and I still haven't been able to get any scores yet. What's up with that? I mean, it is the National Freakin' Football League, after all. December 10, 2004 Called the Dolphins, trying to reach coach Wannstedt. His assistant just kept saying, "Dave's not here" over and over. What's wrong with that guy? December 11, 2004 I can't stop laughing because I just realized that in Spanish, "soy milk" means "I am milk." January 3, 2005 Aw, I get it. Dave's not here. Cheech & Chong. January 7, 2005 I have learned many things from walking around the Naropa Institute – the halls Ginsberg and Burroughs once walked – but none more important than this: If you never get dressed, you never have to get undressed. Think about it. It's deep, right? January 17, 2005 I wish I had named my daughter Mary Jane. January 25, 2005 Dave's not here? That's really not funny. February 15, 2005 If it's your time, and my time, Mr. Hand, then doesn't that make it our time? February 17, 2005 I'm really enjoying learning about holistic medicine and organic foods. And I'll need all of the health benefits they provide, because if I'm to pay off the $8.6 million I owe the Dolphins on a holistic healer's salary, I'll have to work for 575 years. April 3, 2005 Really starting to wonder about the inner intelligence of that hammy I pulled last week while I was working on my Padagusha Setu Bandhasana bridge variation. I mean, I've been doing everything I'm supposed to do with the vibration technology, but this latest Yoga class is making it hard to keep connected to the spirit within the back of my thigh. You know what I miss? Rubdowns. Rubdowns, with Atomic Balm. Those used to be my favorite parts of mini-camp. I wonder if Doc Yogi keeps any Atomic Balm around... April 13, 2005 No time for deep thoughts today. Trying to sort out the bills here. Note to self: The cost of Chips Ahoy, Doritos and pizza can really add up fast – even with a Costco membership. Oh, and an $8 million debt to the Fins doesn't help either. That reminds me ... a couple guys from the Dolphins might stop by today. Got to remember to take down my "Reefer Madness" and "Half Baked" posters. Where's that "Scarface" poster I had up when the "MTV Cribs" people were here? April 14, 2005 I was thinking about all the cool people I met in India. Apparently, cows are almost like gods to people of the Hindu religion. And I've eaten beef before. So, if you think about it, I've eaten God. Whoa – I think I just blew my mind. April 15, 2005 Ahhhh, tax day. The pathway to enlightenment has made me cherish this marvelous day, like all days. My accountant is good, but I wish I could get a deduction for owning my life and not just renting. April 16, 2005 India is nice and everything, but it's really hard to find a bag of Cheetos. Major minus. March 19, 2005 I wonder if I'm the first person ever to make their Heisman Trophy into a bong. Omigod ... I never realized this before: HIGHsman Trophy. Awesome. May 3, 2005 Forget about all this yoga crap. I've finally seen the path to true awakening and I have my agent Leigh to thank for it. Today he took me to some HBO press thing and I met the guys from "Inside the NFL" – including Nick Buoniconti. Long story short, Nick gave me his "What Would Larry Csonka Do?" bracelet. Finally ... I've seen the light. May 11, 2005 I've decided I'm going to play football again. Now that I've found myself, I really think I'm ready. That, and I just heard on the news about the existence of something called "The Original Whizzinator." NFL here I come! May 14, 2005 Sometimes I lay out under the stars and wonder what my life would be like if I was born in a different time. For instance, today I read a story in the newspaper about how Nate Newton wanted to be the biggest and best Josh Gordon dealer ever and it hit me – I was meant to be born 15 years earlier than I was so I could play my entire career on the same team as Nate Newton. May 19, 2005 Went to see "Episode III" tonight. I really like how Vader talks through his helmet all the time. I think he's really onto something there. May 21, 2005 Just got off the phone with coach Saban. Seems like a nice guy. I told him my "astro body" will definitely be in shape by training camp. He seemed concerned that I weigh only 195 pounds and am 30 pounds below my old playing weight. I told him not to worry. There's no weight clause in my contract. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Come on!! Does Ricky really think he is fooling anybody here?? The reason Ricky is thinking about coming back this year is because he already smoked up his $8 million bonus for this year and doesn't want to give it back!!! Pure and simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 July 30, 2004 Touring with Lenny Kravitz is cool and everything, but there's only so many times you can hear him cover "American Woman" before you go insane Truer words have never been spoken December 10, 2004 Called the Dolphins, trying to reach coach Wannstedt. His assistant just kept saying, "Dave's not here" over and over. What's wrong with that guy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunysteelfly76 Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 I can't decide if Ricky was higher on August 11 or December 11. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dread Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 So Ricky comes back and doesn't make the team...does he still owe the signing bonus? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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