Dr. Rock Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Now THIS is funny. "For the Last Time I’m Not the ‘Jesus’ Kurt Warner," Curt Warner Says Bellevue, WA – Former Penn State and Seattle Seahawks running back, Curt Warner (left), once again had to convince visitors on the doorstep of his modest suburban home that he is not the white, Jesus-loving St. Louis Rams quarterback Kurt Warner (right). Rather, he is the retired running back and successful auto dealership owner, the black Curt Warner. Warner reports that this latest incident is the 34th time in the past two years he has had to make such a clarification. As the agitated mob insisted that he was, in fact, the white, Jesus-loving Kurt Warner, Warner pulled out his Pennsylvania driver’s license. "Here, look," an exasperated Warner said to the group, members of the nearby Resurrection Presbyterian Church who were hoping to have the inspirational rags-to-riches, supermarket bag boy-turned-NFL MVP speak at their upcoming "Faith in Washington State" seminar. Warner then pointed at his personal information and picture. "See? I spell Curt with a ‘C,’ not a ‘K.’ And as you can plainly see, I’m black. The other Kurt Warner is white." Muttering that they weren’t buying it and they’d be back "once they did some more Internet research," the church group reluctantly dispersed, leaving Warner in peace, at least for the time being. "Believe me, I’m not a violent man," Warner said later, "but I’m seriously thinking about buying a shotgun." Warner, who starred at Penn State and was the MVP in the Nittany Lions’s 1982 Fiesta Bowl national championship win over USC, was drafted in the first round by the Seahawks. He played eight years in the NFL, totaling nearly 7,000 yards and scoring 56 touchdowns until injuries forced him to retire 1990. Yet despite this high-profile NFL career, and despite owning and operating the area’s most successful car dealership, he says he nevertheless has to remind even his closest neighbors that he is not the former Iowa supermarket bag boy who rose through the Arena Football League ranks to become a two-time NFL MVP. "I don’t know whether people in this town are inbred, or there’s lead in the water, or what," Warner sighed, "but they just can’t seem to remember that I’m not that Kurt Warner. Some of those people have bought their cars from me, our kids go to school together–my black kids, mind you–and they still think I’m the other Kurt. I think I might just go speak at their stupid Jesus rally or whatever it is just so they’ll finally leave me in peace." "But between you and me," Warner whispered, "after how awful this year was for Kurt and the Rams, I don’t think he’d be real excited to praise Jesus these days, either." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bushwacked Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Very funny. Curt Warner was an absolute stud in his rookie year and may have been the original Barry Sanders if that awkward cut on the turf with no contact whatsoever wouldn't have obliterated his knee. He was never even close to the same RB after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godtomsatan Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Very funny. Curt Warner was an absolute stud in his rookie year and may have been the original Barry Sanders if that awkward cut on the turf with no contact whatsoever wouldn't have obliterated his knee. He was never even close to the same RB after that. 854607[/snapback] Interestingly enough, I saw someone in a Curt Warner jersey walking across Broadway in Seattle yesterday evening. Almost as cool as the retarded guy I saw in a Rick Mirer Seahawk #3 jersey last weekend. Or maybe it was Rick Mirer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
major-tom Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 (edited) Funny stuff indead. If these idiots were really football fans you'd think they would know what Kurt Warner looked like, and they should atleast back off and be embarassed after Curt Warner corrects them. Edited June 26, 2005 by major-tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 The differences should be obvious. curt warner isnt married to a man... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 The differences should be obvious. curt warner isnt married to a man... 854618[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffian Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Funny stuff indead. If these idiots were really football fans you'd think they would know what Kurt Warner looked like, and they should atleast back off and be embarassed after Curt Warner corrects them. 854615[/snapback] Actually, Kurt married the famous Russian fighter Ivan Drago. Whatever he [Drago] hits (read innuendo for "hit"), he destroys. Buckle up that chinstrap, Kurt. It's goin' be a bumpy ride, cowboy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest THEbigred Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Very funny. Curt Warner was an absolute stud in his rookie year and may have been the original Barry Sanders if that awkward cut on the turf with no contact whatsoever wouldn't have obliterated his knee. He was never even close to the same RB after that. 854607[/snapback] True Still remember cheering him in the stands at Beaver Stadium though. Them was the days. lol @ WVA (although I guess that goes w/o saying...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest aqualung Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 True Still remember cheering him in the stands at Beaver Stadium though. Them was the days. lol @ WVA (although I guess that goes w/o saying...) 854867[/snapback] But of course Penn State sucks royaly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 But of course Penn State sucks royaly. 855086[/snapback] Nothing more to add. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Doesn't this remind anyone of The Life Of Brian, where the mob show up on Brian's doorstep and he tells them all to F off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Red Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Doesn't this remind anyone of The Life Of Brian, where the mob show up on Brian's doorstep and he tells them all to F off? 855257[/snapback] He's not your savior, he's a very naughty boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffian Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 (edited) Nothing more to add. 855236[/snapback] GO PITT Edited June 27, 2005 by Ruffian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Is everyone familiar with the pre-draft function? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Very funny. Curt Warner was an absolute stud in his rookie year and may have been the original Barry Sanders if that awkward cut on the turf with no contact whatsoever wouldn't have obliterated his knee. He was never even close to the same RB after that. 854607[/snapback] Should we blame Penn State for that? They've had quite a few RBs that ride the short bus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffian Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Should we blame Penn State for that? They've had quite a few RBs that ride the short bus. 855388[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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