Sound advice so far.... I think the most important is to handle a bunch, ask a lot of questions and do some research(which apparently you are). Pick the ones that feel the best, if you can shoot some, do it. As far as pistols, I've carried 9mm, .40 and .45, from polymer framed to a 1911. Right now I carry a Springfield XD sub-compact 9mm and love it.... The wife would probably be O.K. with it too and it shoots exceptionally well, especially for the smaller size.
There are a lot of sites out there with plenty of good information.... Stay away from info from people who tend to completely dog any gun other than there own, because if they do they don't no shatner Lot's of good guns out there.