FatBoy

Mike Singletary and Kurt Warner. A young, inspiring black guy from Chicago versus an old, entrenched white guy from Arizona. I swear I've seen this somewhere before.

Will drunkenly add John David Booty to roster while shouting "Time to make a Booty call, Childress!". Will add "Third toe left foot" to list of unreachable body parts. Will get busted by wife flipping to Girls Next Door at commercial breaks. Will watch cardiologist excitedly call broker before going over my test results. Will get run out of convenience store after asking cashier if she wants to see my "Ocho Cinco".

Cholesterol will finally pass that elusive 400 mark. Will drink a beer in garage then go inside and tell wife the mower won't crank. Will convince some Ebayer that the drool stain on my couch is profile of Elvis. Will substitute usual porn sites with Sarah Palin's flute video. Will mistake contents of tupperware and put hot gravy on ice cream. Will eat two bowls.

I don't feel quite as strongly about it but I admit it gave me nipples.

Are we at least allowed to blame Martin Gramatica?

Supposed to be MAN BEAST but he put an R after the B.

Will throw away wife's edible underwear because they're past expiration date. Will write "Wash me" in dust on treadmill. Will ask congressman if bailout plan includes tabs at Burger Palace. Will again endure muffled giggles when getting flu shot and nurse sees my misspelled tattoo, Will finally sit Randy Moss then watch him go off on Niners.

My loose crown will finally fall off after getting too aggressive with the nachos. My neutered dog will get more action than I do. Again. Jack Daniels will send me a lifetime achievement award. Jessica Simpson will make out with Angelina Jolie and then I'll wake up crying. My boss will tell me I'm spending too much time on the internet looking at "that football fantasy stuff".

Right. That's what made it funny. I guess you're more of a knock knock guy.

I give him 2 months in New Orleans. He'll either be dead from malaria or syphillis.

1) I will eat enough cheetos to turn my crap orange. 2) I will not recycle so many beer cans that Al Gore will weep. 3) My daughter's boyfriend will proudly show me his latest tattoo. 4) I will refrain from intimate contact with my wife through no choice of my own. 5) My fantasy team will lose by a fraction of a point and my best player will be on my bench.

A trade has to benefit both teams. If it doesn't then you have solid grounds to veto.