Hey look, a smart guy on the internet. Props to you random stranger for figuring out what OP couldn't. Granted he is a bit frazzled. Poor guy.
1000 texts and a random trip to this board later, I think OP is ruined. Megatrolled in fact.
Time to kick back and enjoy this comfortable space I've carved out in OP's head.
Lol @ j. Zerrrrrrrrooooooooooo Rings!