My Dad, took his life 19 years ago today and it still affects me today. He was an amazing athelete and at 29 years old was dagnosed with multiple sclerosis and spent most of his last 20 years stricken to a wheelchair. After months of noticeable depression he called me to meet me for dinner. He was in the best mood I had seen him in for at least a year and little did I know his "mood" was because he had made the decision to end his life. 4 hours after we left the restaurant a policeman came to my home to give me the news. Worst day of my life.
I have gone through all the emotions of guilt, anger, resentment, shame, loss and while, yes, it is a very selfish act and destroys the lives of the ones left behind I have learned not to judge but to love and admire the man that he was while he was here. The greatest loss was that we both missd out on what could have been the best time of our lives .... when a son grows up and matures enough to realize just how special his Dad is/was. So many memories lost. I truly believe if the person choosing to end his life would see the devastation he leaves his choice would be a different one.