'canes2004 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 So right before the Holidays, I had to fire one of my servers. She's a mother of 2, married to some dirt bag and a pretty nice girl. The problem is she is a major pill-head. I've sent her home before because she has come to work high. I've talked to her a couple of times and let her know that I'm not stupid, I know when people are f*cked up on something and it will cost her her job if she doesn't straighten up while shes at work. So the scuttlebutt around the kitchen a few days ago was that said server was asking the bus-boys to find her some Loritabs or Xanex. This is something that I will not put up with. I know most people in the service industry party (hey I'm no angel but I keep a tight ship and leave my "fun" to days off and at home) but I can not have one of my servers asking teenage bus boys and dishwashers to sell her drugs. She's pretty hot and all the bus/dish guys have a crush on her so I know they might go and try to help her out. Well yesterday she comes in high as a kite. Eyes sunken back, zombie look, the whole deal. I pull her outside in private and let her know that she's broken her promise to me and that I also know about her trying to buy drugs from other employees. She starts with the denials, then the crying, then some crazy anger mumbling thing which I'm not sure what was happening. So I fired her. Had no choice. I feel bad, I mean really bad. I come from a poor family so I know about struggle to keep a family afloat, but she left me no choice. I didn't sleep at all last night. I feel guilty about the whole thing. I started off so f'ing mad when I found out about her trying to buy drugs at the restaurant, but now I just feel guilt and I know I shouldn't. What is going on with these pills? So many stories of people OD'ing. So many stories of doctors getting arrested for giving out meds to people for profit. So many stories about people getting arrested trying to forge prescriptions trying to get pills. Meth, Ice, Crank, Crack all those things are bad for sure but the main drug problem for middle/upper class America are these prescription meds that are being abused by the thousands if not more. Legal drugs are as much of a problem now as illegal ones it seems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Hey man you didn't fire her, she did it to herself. You shouldn't feel guilty. If you didn't give her the reality check you would be enabling her to continue doing what she was doing there. I bet she was buying pot from some of the younger people that work there as well. You should not feel bad at all. She was an employee and you were her boss. That is the way it should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 dont feel guilty, you did what you had to do. sure the time of year sucks, but like cliaz said........she f'ed up!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 (edited) Exactly....hardly anyone has ever been fired. They fire themselves. People are just too stupid to realize that. She did it to herself and you have nothing to worry about. (Except the disgruntled employee of course ) Edited November 13, 2007 by TimC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I almost have always felt bad after I fired someone. I would feel bad your situation as well. (I'd feel worse if I was a 'canes fan, but that's another thread.) It's a bit cliche but true, she has to hit bottom and decide she wants to be clean before she can be clean. If she's a single mom, raising two kids, and she's high much of the time, you need to consider calling Family Services. She's not only flking up her life right now, but her kids' lives as well. These calls can be anonymous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Hey you did the right thing for you, the restaurant and her....sometimes people take these wake up calls and change and sometimes they dont...but you have nothing to feel guilty about...the reason you feel that way is because you are a caring person... fwiw about 15 years ago i had to fire a girl who was always perpetually late and kept coming up short on the register(nothing major just you know 29cents here 78cents there) and I had talked to her numerous times...got to the point where i had to write her up and after(we used 3 strikes, verbal warning(which she had many of), written warning, final warning and then fired)...well she had just had a baby about 4-6 months prior and I had to fire her....trust me it wasnt easy....well about a year later she came back to the store and she looked at me and said THANK YOU...i was a bit perplexed....but she went on to say how my firing her was the best thing that ever happened because it woke her up...she went to some sorta nursing school or something like that and she on track to graduate....to this day its probably one of the things i feel best about from early in my retail career....so stay strong and know that you did what you needed to do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Hey man you didn't fire her, she did it to herself. You shouldn't feel guilty. If you didn't give her the reality check you would be enabling her to continue doing what she was doing there. I bet she was buying pot from some of the younger people that work there as well. You should not feel bad at all. She was an employee and you were her boss. That is the way it should be. What Poop Dude said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I've had to fire two rather prominent employees within the last few months for things much, much less than that. Neither was doing anything remotely as bad as neither coming to work whacked out or trying to get drugs from other employees. Both were as simple as repeatedly not doing the things that I made it clear they needed to do. In both cases, they were both good guys who I enjoyed joking around with and such but I have too much invested and the potential consequences of having people refuse to get on the right page was just too much. Other employees aren't stupid and they'll realize that if you let people get away with crap, you'll have no limb to stand on if they pull the same. I understand why you feel bad but also why you shouldn't. Ours is a very, very tough industry and about the last ones at all that can afford to carry employees that need to go. Allowing employees like her to continue working could cost you customers and ultimately either your job or the restaurant (not sure where you are in the pecking order). If that happened, it's not like you could turn to her for help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 The Cliaz is wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTed46 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I woulda fired her a while ago so you did the right thing. Firing is never easy I had to do it before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 I come from a poor family so I know about struggle Being poor is not an excuse to be a drug addict. Leave the work at work man, don't let this bum you out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMD Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Ditto on the above. I always hated firing people when I was a manager but I eventally came to the conclusion that people were just firing themselves and I just filled out the paperwork. You told her the conditions neccessary to work there and she knowingly did not abide. That's not your fault. Now laying off a perfectly good employee DOES suck and it hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Ditto on the above. I always hated firing people when I was a manager but I eventally came to the conclusion that people were just firing themselves and I just filled out the paperwork. You told her the conditions neccessary to work there and she knowingly did not abide. That's not your fault. Now laying off a perfectly good employee DOES suck and it hurts. +1. Never have regretted firing anyone as all you're doing is rubber stamping THEIR actions (or inactions). Lay offs / redundancies suck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geeteebee Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Ditto on the above. I always hated firing people when I was a manager but I eventally came to the conclusion that people were just firing themselves and I just filled out the paperwork. You told her the conditions neccessary to work there and she knowingly did not abide. That's not your fault. Now laying off a perfectly good employee DOES suck and it hurts. So that's why you've kept Carl around for so long? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'canes2004 Posted November 14, 2007 Author Share Posted November 14, 2007 (edited) Thanks for all the kind words guys. I know I did the right thing but when a girl cries, I get all mushy in the head. I didn't let any emotion out when I was dealing with her outside but I do feel bad for the situation. My wife manages a long term care pharmacy and has had plenty of experience letting people go. In her line of work mistakes can cost lives so like Keg mentioned, it's 1-2-3 strikes your out. She told me pretty much what everyone else here has said, that she fired herself for not heeding my warnings and continued to come to work high. We're hoping to buy the restaurant in the next couple of years and she will help manage the place, mainly deal with the staff, schedule and dinning room so I can concentrate on the menu. She said she can't wait to get in there and kick some ass . She can be a cold hearted beotch when she needs to be, so they are gonna be in for a shock. I'm pretty easy going unless you f me over, so it will be a change that some will find hard to adjust to. We're actually thinking about letting most of the staff go and hiring new blood when we take over, keeping only the best employees and training new ones. We'll see. Anyway, said server called me today and asked for her job back. Promised me the world you know. "I'll never do that again, it was a mistake, I need this job....blah blah blah". I told her I was sorry but I had made up my mind and that her position was already filled. Started crying again and that whole deal. I politely told her my decision was final and that I had to go. Still makes me feel weird. Edited November 14, 2007 by 'canes2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 We're actually thinking about letting most of the staff go and hiring new blood when we take over, keeping only the best employees and training new ones. We'll see. Not to be a dick or anything but if you are the one that does the hiring and firing now and you feel you need new blood etc..then i would say you probably should be looking to do that sooner then later...after all you dont want to be the one getting fired because you have a staff that sucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogohawk Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 To set the scene it's a Friday afternoon around 3 PM. I had to fire one of my bookkeepers only after a few weeks on the job ... she just wasn't cutting the grade. She leaves the conference room packs her belongings from her desk and walks out of the building through our operations area. Our GM says to her "Have a nice weekend!" She replies "I don't think so!" and storms out. I forgot to mention to my GM I was planning on canning her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Loins of Beef Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Canes the number one thing is if there ever came a time when the server and boyfriend needed money --they would probably go to the one place that is familiar to them and deals with cash on an ongoing basis--I have been a part of the said situation and it kinda numbs some of the feelings towards certain things. You made the right call Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramhock Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 I've had to fire two rather prominent employees within the last few months for things much, much less than that. Did they not call in to reduce a reservation size on their day off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Did they not call in to reduce a reservation size on their day off? You guessed it. I'm not freaking messing around! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DemonKnight Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Canes the number one thing is if there ever came a time when the server and boyfriend needed money --they would probably go to the one place that is familiar to them and deals with cash on an ongoing basis--I have been a part of the said situation and it kinda numbs some of the feelings towards certain things. You made the right call Most dont generally resort to stealing to support a Xanax habit. Its only $3 a pill and I dont know many people that take more than 1-1.5 a day. P.S. This chick sounds hot. Send her my #, I'll take care of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABearWithFurniture Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 So that's why you've kept Carl around for so long? Last I talked to Carl, he has a really, great job building/maintaining digital image archive servers for the New England Patriots. Says Belichick has a lot of 'game film' he needs to save. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 did yah bang her??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'canes2004 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Share Posted November 15, 2007 Not to be a dick or anything but if you are the one that does the hiring and firing now and you feel you need new blood etc..then i would say you probably should be looking to do that sooner then later...after all you dont want to be the one getting fired because you have a staff that sucks The owners wife hires the servers now and the owner and myself take care of the kitchen staff. The turning over of the staff would only happen when I buy the restaurant. I want my system and my rules to be in place. Some people who are used to doing things a certain way will be in for a surprise. Canes the number one thing is if there ever came a time when the server and boyfriend needed money --they would probably go to the one place that is familiar to them and deals with cash on an ongoing basis--I have been a part of the said situation and it kinda numbs some of the feelings towards certain things. You made the right call Agreed. The boyfriend dude is a real P O S. Most dont generally resort to stealing to support a Xanax habit. Its only $3 a pill and I dont know many people that take more than 1-1.5 a day. P.S. This chick sounds hot. Send her my #, I'll take care of her. She is hot but seeing that zombie, spaced out look on her face takes most of her hotness away. did yah bang her??? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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