Most of this is from KSK

Titans
Strengths:
-Big
-Strong
-God
-Begat other Gods
-Swallows own children
-Can produce ocean nymph in a relative snap
-Titan Rhea always quick with a one-liner when in the vicinity of drunken, lonely, know-it-all mailman
-Titan Atlas very good with directions to Shreveport

Weaknesses:
-Tough to fight with child’s arm stuck in mouth
-Goya interpretation leaves much to be desired. Not liking that shading
-Bony
-Cut yer hair, you goddamn Greek hippie
-Bug eyes suggest possible ancestor of Jennifer Wilbanks
-Possibly chained to rock, with eagle tearing at liver. Not fun
-Huh huh, Uranus
-Titan Phoebe easily the most annoying Titan hanging out at Central Perk
-Titan Hyperion published Candace Bushnell books. F**k her, man.
-Dude, this queer defeated you? Weak
-Atlas carrying quite a load there

Entrance Music:
“Gods of War,” Def Leppard

Best Random Past Player Story That Involves Professional Wrestling:
Wahoo McDaniel... During the 1968 season, he knocked out two police officers in an altercation and was traded to the San Diego Chargers. Wahoo never played a game for San Diego and started wrestling full-time.... In 1984, he turned on Ricky Steamboat, taking the U.S. title for the fourth time when Tully Blanchard came to Wahoo's assistance with a steel chair. He was stripped of the title but regained it in a tournament later that year. Wahoo successfully defended it at Starrcade of that year against Billy Graham but lost it to Magnum T.A. in early 1985 in a steel cage match.

Best Meat Product Endorsed By A Player:
#1... Earl Campbell's Sausage
Runner's Up... Vince Young's Sausage

Falcons
Strengths:
-Sharp talons!
-Beak!
-Can fly!
-Superior vision!
-Delicious regurgitate!

Weaknesses:
-Is it supposed to be pronounced FAWL-kun? Annoying.
-Sam Spade told me it’s a fake! A fake, I tells ya!
-Needs one of those adorable little leather bird helmets
-Not so tough if pitted against a smattering of buckshot
-Not particularly edible
-Possible relative of Footsteps Falco

Entrance Music:
“Rock Me Amadeus”

Best Random Past Player Story That Involves Professional Wrestling:
Andre Rison... While on an episode of the Spike TV's TNA Impact!, a professional wrestling program, Rison was in the ring with announcer Don West talking about his role on the show Pros vs. Joes. They were then interrupted by TNA wrestler Abyss. While Rison tried to extend his hand to Abyss for a handshake, Rison received Abyss' finishing maneuver, the Black Hole Slam (kayfabe). Rison had to be helped from the ring during the commercial break.

And just because... The Falconer

Being a Carpetbagger in Texas, I've had Earl Campbell Sausage and I can't disagree with this hyperbole...

You, sir, have the chance to become a King of kings. A leader of seafaring men not seen since the likes of Blackbeard and me. Good luck!

Alright, I've got one vote!!

(Sure it was from myself, but someone has to have faith!)

You, sir, have the chance to become a King of kings. A leader of seafaring men not seen since the likes of Blackbeard and me. Good luck!

YaRRRRRR...

It be my theory that if it weren't for your Titan Gods facing the Steelers of Pittburgh, ye would be getting more votes. Even Titan Gods might have trouble scoring more than 14 pts on those Pittsburgh Scallywags.

Yeah, in looking ahead a few weeks back, I saw who they faced and am just happy enough to be here!! Maybe something crazy will happen, like the Texans running wild on the Titans last week! Yarrrr never knows!!!

Have to figure my D will struggle vs Purple Jesus. Now Tarvaris could help my cause.
Your D will probably do ok as PIT/TEN will probably be a defensive struggle.

Turner could do well but even with half of the Williamses out, he might still not have an outstanding game.
White comes through in road games and shouldn't have any problem roaming the Vikes secondary.
Bryant has been on fire and will still probably do ok vs a shaky visiting SD secondary.

Johnson could do better than you think. If TEN is smart they get him heavily involved in the pass game early and often... Portis put up some decent yardage and caught a bunch passes when he faced PIT.

My wildcards are Lil' Leon and Vernon Davis. I could go with the steady Holt but that's no fun. Scaife has pretty much disappeared and don't expect him to reemerge vs a tough PIT D.

Jesus, would you ladies like some tea and crumpets? Perhaps a nice cool crisp cucumber sandwich?

How bout a little less civilized analysis and lot more

Hey, this is the captain of the SS Falcons. Let me repeat... Captain. Of. The. SS. Falcons. I'm just happy to be here.

If you win, a sea shanty or drinking song will be written for you. Something like "The Little Dinghy That Could."

Well maybe it will be more like a nursery rhyme.

or a Sea scroll entitled "takin It" the Life & Playoff Times of Queenfish below Deck

not sure Danza and his cum towel is any better though.... FIRE UP.....GET TOUGH SWASH

Jizz rag, that made me laugh.

Arrrrgh, Falcons, Keep your "hands" out of your pants because the Titans are about to turn you into shark bait!

Nice one from the Admiral of Asses and Arizona. Good to see your dungeon masters let you out once in a while...

And you Captain Cowboy... win 4 of 5 vs half the NFC West, the Deadskins, and the G-Men (without Jacobs or Plax) and suddenly the smack talk flows. You deserve your Arkinsaw Asspounder Owner.

tell me Aye'm not smokin Hawt

Vote the LAMBS for Captain's Crapper!

Just an FYI, you might want to reserve spreadin' rumors and inciting mutiny after the treasure has been divvied up.