A pirate walked into a bar,
and the bartender said, "Hey, I
haven't seen you in a while. What
happened? You look terrible."

"What do you
mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What
about the wooden leg? You didn't have that
before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were
in a battle, and I got hit with
a cannon ball, but I'm fine
now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what
about that hook? What happened to your
hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in
another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut
off. I got fitted
with a hook
but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye
patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we
were at sea, and a flock of
birds flew over. I looked up, and one of
them poopy in my eye."

"You're kidding,"
said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye
just from bird
poopy."

"It was my first day with the
hook."

An oldie but a goody. Unfortunately, based on fact.

Pirate Jokes - someone has a lot of time on their hands....

I've been working on getting yo mama to take the 49'ers in this league the last couple of years, if for nothing else to combine pirate jokes with yo momma jokes. It would be the greatest combo since Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

What does a pirate homie say when you insult him?


Yo Ho Mama.