You can take this to the bank......Scratch Division Analysis 2009
Rest Stop Hustlers – Furd
2008 Record: 6-8
2007 Record: 12-5 FLS Champion
Cumulative Record: 18-13 in 2 seasons
Top Players: Michael Turner, Marques Colston, Ryan Grant
Why Furd will win the division this year: Turner picks up where he left off last year, Grant bounces back from an off year, Colston steps up his game to a new level, Donald Driver gets more opportunities as teams double-up on Greg Jennings, Cassel & Palmer stay healthy and both out-perform their ADP this year.
Why Furd will NOT win the division this year: Turner too one-dimensional – not involved at all in passing game, Colston shares the wealth with too many other targets in N.O., Cassel & Palmer have NEVER been able to stay healthy and both have horrible offensive lines in front of them, plus Furd’s depth at RB and WR is questionable with the likes of Larry Johnson, Julius Jones, Jerius Norwood aka "the handcuff", Miles Austin, Earl Bennett, L. Coles and Bernard Berrian. None of those guys instill fear in FLS opponents.
Predicted Finish: 1st or 2nd in the division.
Parbreakers – Billy Balata
2008 Record: 7-8
2007 Record: 11-5
Cumulative Record: 61-55 (52.6%) in 8 seasons
Top Players: Phillip Rivers, Marion Barber, Fast Willie Parker, Randy Moss
Why Billy will win the division this year: Randy Moss has a healthy Tom Brady lofting the ball to him this year, Rivers improves every year and reaches near-elite status, Barber’s reckless running style racks up fantasy points and he avoids injury & handcuff Felix Jones picks up the slack if he does get hurt, Parker bounces back from a couple of seasons with declining results.
Why Billy will NOT win the division this year: Did you see Willie Parker on opening night? The only thing he does FAST is go down. Rivers had phenomenal 2008 season but can he maintain that lofty level? Not likely. Moss suffered without Brady, but now that he has his QB back, he also shares time with 27 other WR,RB & TE targets. Barber & F Jones will be asked to anchor a TO-less Cowboy offense and will face 8-in-the-box week after week.
Predicted Finish: 1st or 2nd in the division.
Ramssuck aka “Rambro” – Christian R
2008 Record: N/A
Cumulative Record: 0-0 FLS Rookie
Top Players: Larry Fitzgerald, Brandon Jacobs, Kevin Smith
Why Rambro will win the division this year: Fitzgerald almost single-handedly won the Super Bowl for the Cardinals in 2008 and seems to be hitting on all cylinders this year, Jacobs benefits from a massive OL that is one of the best in the league at run blocking, Smith is an underrated stud in the making on a team that has nowhere to go but up.
Why Rambro will NOT win the division this year: Rambro drafted three of the best TE’s in the league (Witten, Olsen & Carlson). Unfortunately, FLS is not a TE mandatory league. The Cardinals will be hard-pressed to duplicate the offensive numbers they put up last year, especially if Warner goes down, Jacobs runs upright and is prone to injury, although having A. Bradshaw in reserve helps, if Barry Sanders couldn’t elevate the pathetic Lions, how in the hell can anyone expect Kevin Smith to do it? Rookies generally don’t do well in the FLS, as they normally need a year or two of “seasoning.” Look for Rambro to make some noise in 2010 or 2011.
Predicted Finish: 3rd or 4th in the division..
TimC formerly “Texas Hammers” – Timmay
2008 Record: N/A (took a sabbatical)
Cumulative Record: 33-64 (34.02%) in 7 seasons
Top Players: Steven Jackson, Brian Westbrook, Reggie Wayne, Tony Romo
Why TimC will win the division this year: He won’t, but we’ll play along just for fun: Jackson and Westbrook both stay healthy and put up huge numbers, White continues to develop rapport with improving, young QB Matt Ryan, and Romo guides Tim’s beloved Cowboys to new offensive heights. (God, that was hard to type with a straight face).
Why TimC will NOT win the division this year: Timmay, timmay, timmay. Drafting only 4 RB’s and among them are an over-the-hill Jamal Lewis who may not make it through the first half of the season, a perennial 3rd-down-back on team with no offense (Charles), an injury-prone back on the wrong side of 30 (Westbrook) and a potential stud on what is possibly the worst offense in the league (Jackson). At WR/TE, after Reggie Wayne, the talent here consists of Dallas Clark and not much else. Could be a long season for one of the most well-liked members of the FLS. No, not well-liked because of his twisted sense of humor or his library of corvette photos – it’s because he’s the FLS version of Bill & Melinda Gates – always good for a large donation.
Predicted Finish: 3rd or 4th in the division..
