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Chuck Norris Facts


Puddy
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Chuck's cool and all, but he's no Vin Diesel. :D

For example - Vin Diesel once owned all of Lebanon, but lost it to his arch rival Bruce Willis in a game of Beer Pong. This is why Beer Pong is sometime incorrectly called Beirut.

My new favorite - Vin Diesel does the wave at concerts that benfit tsunami survivors.

Edited by Big F'n Dave
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  • 2 months later...
Stuart Scott pre-Chuck:  :D

 

During Chuck's booya:  :D

 

Post-Chuck:  :D

 

1151107[/snapback]

 

 

 

while this may be the funniest thing i have ever read it is actually very accurate

 

who said we didnt need an award for best graemlin use :D

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Chuck is taking notice:

 

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET

 

 

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.

~ Chuck Norris

 

 

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"Much has been made about the formidable powers that Chuck Norris possesses, and justifiably so. Due to the sheer quantity and quality of beatings he has administered, Norris has earned the right to have his name spoken in hushed whispers by a Chuck-fearing nation. However, there is one man too powerful for even Chuck Norris to confront. And that man is Jack Bauer. We feel it is high time that everyone learned a bit more about the man entrusted to safeguard our national security: Jack Bauer doesn't like it when people copy Chuck Norris facts and substitute his name. He will gun down your family for that. When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down.

 

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

 

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

 

After receiving repeated roundhouse kicks to the head from Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer was heard to ask,"Can you go a bit lower? I was crammed in an air conditioning duct between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. and my back is killing me."

 

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fliping do it.

 

Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a feline.

 

Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces.

 

Chuck Norris originally made anyone handicapped who parked in a handicapped spot. Jack Bauer came along and killed Chuck Norris and will kill anyone who parks in a handicapped spot.

 

Jack Bauer has had sex with every woman in the world, including Chuck Norris.

 

In last week's episode of 24, a professional assassin was able to throw Jack Bauer to the floor and break his rib. I hate how unrealistic 24 is sometimes."

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