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Jumpin Johnies

Huddle Fistfight #6

Who Would Win This Fight?  

75 members have voted

  1. 1. Who Would Win This Fight?

    • DMD
      996
    • Chavez
      8


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Thank you so far the only thing I've recieved is an internet a$$ whoopin from twiley of all people. :D

 

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you want people to start sending you $2.50? :D

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you want people to start sending you $2.50?  :D

 

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Not me you silly billy, the guys that Coffeeman ripped off.

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I went with Chavez--he grew up in the freaking Upper Peninsula of Michigan and it takes a certain kind of strong/insane/lacking-in-social-skills-and-knowlege-of-typical-norms-of-human-behavior to make it up there.

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7 User(s) are reading this topic (3 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)

4 Members: Jumpin Johnies, DMD, GoldenGopher, DKF

 

Contestant #1 has graced the thread with his pressence.

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This should be #7 :D

 

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We're going off my count, not yours. :D

Edited by Jumpin Johnies

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Just from pics alone I'm givin this one to Chavez...... but only in a fistfight, otherwise he's a goner :D

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Anyone named Chavez gets my vote.

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Anyone named Chavez gets my vote.

 

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Like I said. Mexicans. :D

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Like I said. Mexicans.  :D

 

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:D He is Columbian.

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:D He is Columbian.

 

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Yeah he definetely didn't look Mexican.

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RRs reflection in the sliding doors behind pic # 2 of chavez looks like the hitchcock profile..As far as the fight DMD is a very patient guy it seems based on it taking him a while to reach his breaking point when people poke at him. Chavez seems to have a quick temper. The Texas / Michigan factor cancels each other out . I see Michigan fighters as a little dirtier Texas fighters as more of a "I can absorb your best punches because I just finished a case of Keystone and my tobacco will also pad the punch" . DMD may also confuse Chavez by blurting out projections during the fight. Its a tight one..Undecided so far

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Like I said. Mexicans.  :D

 

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You got a problem with Mexicans? :D

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DMD is a Texan.

 

Chavez? some miguel estrada wannabe homo wetback?

 

puhlease, DMD stomps that taco eat'n Tortilla Warmer into the ground... and when he's done, me and spain get the logging chains. And no spain, we're not using your MDX, draggin 'cans is best done behind chevy.

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DMD has shown the ability to keep literally 1000s of people reasonably content and has at least dozens of others hanging off his nut-sack. This shows that he has some flexibility and a semblence of people-skills. Chavez regularly pisses people off within the first few times he interacts with them (see his sigline for one example). This is another point in favor of Chavez.

Edited by wiegie

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Where's Spain go? He was typing a freaking novel then he dissappears, I don't get it.

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Where's Spain go?  He was typing a freaking novel then he dissappears, I don't get it.

 

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Special delivery arrived ... new flock of virgin sheep ...

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Good matchup here with both pro's and cons for each of them. I have had to think about this battle all morning in trying to handicap it, and I still dont have a handle on it. So, I will shoot from the hip a little bit here since I will be thinking this through as I type:

 

DMD looks like a big, soft, Pillsbury Dough boy. You know when Skippy is calling you fat, then you have pretty much let yourself go. That said, mass can certainly be an asset, depending on the type of fight. One thing in Dorey's favor is he was raised in east Texas. That means he grew up a country boy, and country boys are just stronger by nature. Probably went hunting and fishing since before he could even hold a gun or a pole. Spent lots of time outside with the other little necks catching crawdads, playing smear the queer or kick the can, and just generally rough housin. And football is king in small town Texas. Football is a man's sport and not for the faint of heart. So, he at least played HS football, at Tyler John Tyler, if I recall correctly. HS football down there will take the Rosie O'Donnell right out of you. Of course, DMD played football about 1,000,000 tacos and 10,000,000,000 logged computer hours ago. The football player in him, if its still there, is buried beneath mountains of Blue Bell Cookies and Cream and his Mama's frito pie!

 

I think DMD's downfall began when he chose to become a T-sip. All the toughness that HS football and a good ole east Texas upbringing gave him, was quickly eroded by going to UT. A more pathetically liberal school you cannot find south of the Mason Dixon line. They feminize men down there, and want to take all of the testosterone out them. And for the most part they succeed. 4 years of being enculcated with the notion that masculinity is indeed a bad thing, will nueter even the reddest of Bubba's. After that, DMD did what all young men who are not quite sure of their masculinity or sexual orientation do, he moved to California. Texans are about as welcome as a fart in church out there, unless, you know, they are gay and well hung. This completed the whole nueterization of this once proud Texan. What started out with such great promise has been reduced to a computer nerd who has completed conquered anorexia. The only fighting he will do is fighting to get a stubborn back of Cheetos open at 2:00 am. While his mental toughness will be there, his stamina would not allow him to go more than 30 seconds without needing a break and a 32 oz Dr Pepper. And physiclly his musculature has atrophyied long long ago.

 

That brings us to his opponent, Chavez. He has a great name for a fighter. Julio Ceasar Chavez is THE national hero of Mexico, and one of the best fighters in history. Unfortunately, the huddle Chavez reminds us more of a Mexican American figure skater named Rudy Galindo, than he does of a pugilist. Lets face it, mens figure skaters are not the most masuline fellows in the world, and that holds true for Chavez as well. But he needed a rouge, to make people think he was actually,you know, a real man. So, he finds the most masculine occupation he can think of: Beer Man! While a nobile and admirable profession, it cannot hide the fact that this man is basically a gay figure skater without the tights.

 

One thing about Chavez that gives him a distinct advantage is that he does do physical work. Throwing around kegs, cans, and bottles of beer is physically demanding work. DMD has thrown around his share of beer, but it is typically 12 oz at a time. His physical activity at work as well as his desire to remain neat, trim, and attractive to the guys in the dressing room at the skating rink, keeps Chavez pretty fit. But does fitness translate into the ability to use your fists? Not really. I dont think he would really be able to do much damage to Dorey, but he would be able to outlast him in a slap and tickle fest. Then they would share a six pack and some homemade chicken enchilada's together. I am voting Chavez in a weak and lame fight...

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Good matchup here with both pro's and cons for each of them.  I have had to think about this battle all morning in trying to handicap it, and I still dont have a handle on it.  So, I will shoot from the hip a little bit here since I will be thinking this through as I type:

 

DMD looks like a big, soft, Pillsbury Dough boy.  You know when Skippy is calling you fat, then you have pretty much let yourself go.  That said, mass can certainly be an asset, depending on the type of fight.  One thing in Dorey's favor is he was raised in east Texas.  That means he grew up a country boy, and country boys are just stronger by nature.  Probably went hunting and fishing since before he could even hold a gun or a pole.  Spent lots of time outside with the other little necks catching crawdads, playing smear the queer or kick the can, and just generally rough housin.  And football is king in small town Texas.  Football is a man's sport and not for the faint of heart.  So, he at least played HS football, at Tyler John Tyler, if I recall correctly.  HS football down there will take the Rosie O'Donnell right out of you.  Of course, DMD played football about 1,000,000 tacos and 10,000,000,000 logged computer hours ago.  The football player in him, if its still there, is buried beneath mountains of Blue Bell Cookies and Cream and his Mama's frito pie!

 

I think DMD's downfall began when he chose to become a T-sip.  All the toughness that HS football and a good ole east Texas upbringing gave him, was quickly eroded by going to UT.  A more pathetically liberal school you cannot find south of the Mason Dixon line.  They feminize men down there, and want to take all of the testosterone out them.  And for the most part they succeed.  4 years of being enculcated with the notion that masculinity is indeed a bad thing, will nueter even the reddest of Bubba's.  After that, DMD did what all young men who are not quite sure of their masculinity or sexual orientation do, he moved to California.  Texans are about as welcome as a fart in church out there, unless, you know, they are gay and well hung.  This completed the whole nueterization of this once proud Texan.  What started out with such great promise has been reduced to a computer nerd who has completed conquered anorexia.  The only fighting he will do is fighting to get a stubborn back of Cheetos open at 2:00 am.  While his mental toughness will be there, his stamina would not allow him to go more than 30 seconds without needing a break and a 32 oz Dr Pepper.  And physiclly his musculature has atrophyied long long ago.

 

That brings us to his opponent, Chavez.  He has a great name for a fighter.  Julio Ceasar Chavez is THE national hero of Mexico, and one of the best fighters in history.  Unfortunately, the huddle Chavez reminds us more of a Mexican American figure skater named Rudy Galindo, than he does of a pugilist.  Lets face it, mens figure skaters are not the most masuline fellows in the world, and that holds true for Chavez as well.  But he needed a rouge, to make people think he was actually,you know, a real man.  So, he finds the most masculine occupation he can think of: Beer Man!  While a nobile and admirable profession, it cannot hide the fact that this man is basically a gay figure skater without the tights.

 

One thing about Chavez that gives him a distinct advantage is that he does do physical work.  Throwing around kegs, cans, and bottles of beer is physically demanding work.  DMD has thrown around his share of beer, but it is typically 12 oz at a time.  His physical activity at work as well as his desire to remain neat, trim, and attractive to the guys in the dressing room at the skating rink, keeps Chavez pretty fit.  But does fitness translate into the ability to use your fists?  Not really.  I dont think he would really be able to do much damage to Dorey, but he would be able to outlast him in a slap and tickle fest.  Then they would share a six pack and some homemade chicken enchilada's together.  I am voting Chavez in a weak and lame fight...

 

1273780[/snapback]

 

 

 

:D

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Spain gets my vote for Huddle Narrator of the year! :D

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Good matchup here with both pro's and cons for each of them.  I have had to think about this battle all morning in trying to handicap it, and I still dont have a handle on it.  So, I will shoot from the hip a little bit here since I will be thinking this through as I type:

 

DMD looks like a big, soft, Pillsbury Dough boy.  You know when Skippy is calling you fat, then you have pretty much let yourself go.  That said, mass can certainly be an asset, depending on the type of fight.  One thing in Dorey's favor is he was raised in east Texas.  That means he grew up a country boy, and country boys are just stronger by nature.  Probably went hunting and fishing since before he could even hold a gun or a pole.  Spent lots of time outside with the other little necks catching crawdads, playing smear the queer or kick the can, and just generally rough housin.  And football is king in small town Texas.  Football is a man's sport and not for the faint of heart.  So, he at least played HS football, at Tyler John Tyler, if I recall correctly.  HS football down there will take the Rosie O'Donnell right out of you.  Of course, DMD played football about 1,000,000 tacos and 10,000,000,000 logged computer hours ago.  The football player in him, if its still there, is buried beneath mountains of Blue Bell Cookies and Cream and his Mama's frito pie!

 

I think DMD's downfall began when he chose to become a T-sip.  All the toughness that HS football and a good ole east Texas upbringing gave him, was quickly eroded by going to UT.  A more pathetically liberal school you cannot find south of the Mason Dixon line.  They feminize men down there, and want to take all of the testosterone out them.  And for the most part they succeed.  4 years of being enculcated with the notion that masculinity is indeed a bad thing, will nueter even the reddest of Bubba's.  After that, DMD did what all young men who are not quite sure of their masculinity or sexual orientation do, he moved to California.  Texans are about as welcome as a fart in church out there, unless, you know, they are gay and well hung.  This completed the whole nueterization of this once proud Texan.  What started out with such great promise has been reduced to a computer nerd who has completed conquered anorexia.  The only fighting he will do is fighting to get a stubborn back of Cheetos open at 2:00 am.  While his mental toughness will be there, his stamina would not allow him to go more than 30 seconds without needing a break and a 32 oz Dr Pepper.  And physiclly his musculature has atrophyied long long ago.

 

That brings us to his opponent, Chavez.  He has a great name for a fighter.  Julio Ceasar Chavez is THE national hero of Mexico, and one of the best fighters in history.  Unfortunately, the huddle Chavez reminds us more of a Mexican American figure skater named Rudy Galindo, than he does of a pugilist.  Lets face it, mens figure skaters are not the most masuline fellows in the world, and that holds true for Chavez as well.  But he needed a rouge, to make people think he was actually,you know, a real man.  So, he finds the most masculine occupation he can think of: Beer Man!  While a nobile and admirable profession, it cannot hide the fact that this man is basically a gay figure skater without the tights.

 

One thing about Chavez that gives him a distinct advantage is that he does do physical work.  Throwing around kegs, cans, and bottles of beer is physically demanding work.  DMD has thrown around his share of beer, but it is typically 12 oz at a time.  His physical activity at work as well as his desire to remain neat, trim, and attractive to the guys in the dressing room at the skating rink, keeps Chavez pretty fit.  But does fitness translate into the ability to use your fists?  Not really.  I dont think he would really be able to do much damage to Dorey, but he would be able to outlast him in a slap and tickle fest.  Then they would share a six pack and some homemade chicken enchilada's together.  I am voting Chavez in a weak and lame fight...

 

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Whomper wants to run a thread documenting all of the matchups. I reccommend that we include Spains handicapping for each one of these bouts. These postings are truely priceless. :D

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Spain gets my vote for Huddle Narrator of the year! :D

 

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Without a doubt, these narrations have been instant classics.

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Spain gets my vote for Huddle Narrator of the year! :D

 

1273819[/snapback]

 

 

 

True dat! Double true.

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looks like we have underestimated the homefield advantage.

 

DMD 55%

 

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Hell ... with the coverage DMD has he going to always have HFA.

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