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Jumpin Johnies

Huddle Fistfight #7

Who Would win this fight?  

64 members have voted

  1. 1. Who Would win this fight?

    • Dr. Sacrelebeu
      13
    • Untateve
      51


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This is why I stomped you in #2.

 

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I thought he was winning?

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spain does indeed have a writing prowess.

 

The pic is from 10/04 when I took my son (the boy in front of me) to his first Florida Gator football game. I went to college with the guy next to me. I hadn't seen him in about 15 years and ran into him at the game.

 

Oh, and the orange converse with the blue laces, I only wear them to Gator football games. They're about 20 years old.

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I realized Spain comedic side when he and I went to some Firemillen.com board and the dude started dropping funnies over there. He only had about 5 posts on the site but 3 of them were real nuggets of laughing pleasure. Good work Spain this is the best one as of yet.

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Dammitt Spain, Im going for the spain award this yr. Quit making my fishing trips look so weak in comparison. :D

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Dammitt Spain,  Im going for the spain award this yr.  Quit making my fishing trips look so weak in comparison.    :D

 

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He did such a good job on the first couple we all started asking that he do them from here on out. BTW, Spain don't feel like we're expecting these posts every time but they are an added bonus. :D Come t think of it this was your second best work, DMD's vs Chavez was actually the best. Sarge is up on Monday.

Edited by Jumpin Johnies

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Ill take all you Oprahers out. We rednecks from Texas, have small arsonals just waiting for someone to look at us the wrong way.

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Sacrebleu sets the record straight.

 

OK.  So when i proposed this matchup to JJ it was with the full knowledge that this was definitely the undercard.  Kind of the midget cage match that keeps the audience in the house before the main event.

I also was under no illusion as to the odds of my winning this one, as clearly, the homefield advantage to the full-blooded american in this contest would be comparable to that of DMD over Chavez.  And I know these boards well enough to know that a frenchman is only slightly better received than Osama Bin Laden logging in to ask about his upcoming FF matchup.

I'm pretty sure most of you would take, and even root for, the decomposing body of Tim McVeigh over me in a fight.

So I really harboured no illusion of winning this one.

It was just a self depricating moment like those that often that keep me amused.

Until....

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-

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--

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-- I saw a picture of that special need, child molesting gumby I was pitted against.

;)  :D  :D

COME ON!!!!! :D

 

Dudes,

I look like the devil (anyone is free to post that one), I have no shame (see this picture), no moral compass (I am french), I fight dirty (ask McBoog), and I am opne bitter SOB.

Lets' put it another way:

Feel free to deduct 1/2 of all the abilities you think my sorry ass might have in the ring due to my severe handicap of being 1/2 french (hell, make it 3/4: french blood is very deleterious to healthy apple pie american blood)  Don't you think that 1/4 of, well pretty much anyone, even me is enough to beat the reatded head doctor from florida to a bloody pulp? :D  :D  :D

:rant:This is a outrage.

A frikkin outrage :D  :D

BTW  I am only a pats fan.  I like the panthers from owning them in 32 homers and spending so much time over their roster.  But I am a 1 team man.

 

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First of all, I'm 5' 9" and I weigh in at 146 lbs.

 

I fear no man(?) who dresses in his mother's underwear.  I have dealt with sociopathic murderers, rapists, armed thieves, pedophiles, and other society refuse.  I have been threatened on a number of occasions by men who weigh more than double Sac and I together.  Yet I do not flinch.  By evaluation's end, these same men are crying like babies and shaking my hand like I just provided them with a hack saw. 

 

I also know my enemy.  I have coached soccer, I have refereed soccer matches, and I have played soccer.  When he fakes injury and falls to the ground screaming like so many of these histrionic athletes(?), I shall not back away.  It is then that I begin using my specialized cleats ( http://www.epinions.com/auto-Motorsports-A...umber_Jack_Boot ) upon his cranium.  I will help him get in touch with his inner grey matter.  The individuals I have worked with and helped have also taught me well. 

 

But for you my huddle brothers and sisters, the match will end with a feast.  I shall fire up the Egg and throw in some apple wood for flavor.  It shall be a long, slow, smoky cook.  I'll have prepared some of my smoked onion bbq sauce.  Oh man, that's some Good Eats.  However, I am patriotic.  Let's not say we are consuming a frenchman.  Rather, I shall be serving a 'Freedom' Feast. 

 

Dig in...but save me the liver.  It's so good with a nice chianti.

 

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I will be brutally honest with the huddle membership here before I begin my in depth analysis of this fight:  I had to drink 6 Bud Lights before I could even look at the horrific pictures of these 2 pathetic sicophants.  Fighting is the oldest and most noble of sports.  The sweet science of boxing has always been very near and dear to my heart as many of you are aware.  The mere thought of these two, two, two, "combatants", and I use the term very loosely, is a complete affront to everything the Marquis de Queensberry stood for.  Cus D'matto is turning in his grave, and the very fact that I am even a tangential party to this affair, sickens me.  That is why I had to get all liquored up before I wrote this analysis.  So, as sick and twisted as this may be, like moths to a flame or witnesses to a fatal car wreck, we simply cannot look away. 

 

Dr. Sac is French.  The French are cowards by nature.  They know it.  We know it.  Everybody knows it.  They are taught from an early age to keep their heads down and their mouths shut.  But they know that eventually, some German kid will move in next door, and bi@tch slap the lunch money out of them every day.  They would rather live on their knees than stand and fight.  This inherent cowardice, inbred for generations, does not bode well for Sac and he knows it.  They are weak, and perhaps more devastating to their damaged pysche's, irrelevant.  Name a Frenchman who has done a dam thing other than surrender in the last 50 years?  The fact is, you simply cant.  The biggest athletic "event" in France?  A bicycle race where a bunch of trim gay guys cruise around in tight lycra shorts and wear pretty yellow shirts.  Its like somebody pulled the drain plug on this countrys testosterone tub.  Why do you think their women dont shave their underarms or their crotches?  Somebody has to be the men for Gods sakes!  It is sickening and sad and worrisome.  But they do have culture.  Yes loads of culture!  No straight men, and no testosterone, and no deodorant, but yes they are cultured. 

 

Some of them actually muster up the courage to move to the United States where they hope to hide amongst the great melting pot and throw off their cowardice past.  But a tiger cannot change its stripes.  That is where Dr Sac comes into play.  He came here wanting to hide his Frenchness.  So, what does he do?  Become a truck driver?  No!  Mechanic?  No!  Steal Worker?  No!  He becomes a "Decorative Painter" :D  What the f?  If he had told us he was a french interior designer or hair dresser or ballet coach he couldnt have come off as any more gay.  What is a decorative painter anyway?  On second thought I dont want to know.  Let's just say that there aint a big need for that sort of occupation in places that dont recognize gay marriages.  The words "decorative painter" come out your mouth down here and you will be meeting the business end of a loggin chain.

 

And if this isnt bad enough, I was one of those unfortunate people who clicked on the link of Dr. Sac's picture.  Nothing screams gay like a morbidly thin frenchman in a speedo.  And for an added bonus, we get a glimpse of his chicken skined nutsack.  Why would he show a group of men this picture if he didnt want us to gaze upon his marbles?  Unfortunately, he has the body of a prepuscent school girl.  No musculature whatsoever.  I didnt even know "men", again using the term loosely, could be anorexic.  He11, even Somalians and Ethiopians make fun of him for being emaciated.  Sac could pose in a Sally Struthers commericial.  Combine this laughable bag of ligaments, tendons, and bones with a French upbringing and you have an absolute massacre waiting to happen regardless of his opponent.

 

That brings us to Untateve.  Although I am no Tom Cruise, I have never had a great deal of respect for shrinks.  That is based on alot of personal experience that I have enjoyed.  Typically, they are very damaged people that want to analyze everyone else, because they are afraid to look inward and conquer their own fears.  Like the French, they are cowards.  Well either that or they want to hold some position where they can molest their patients by gaining some sort of pyschological hold on them.  I ask you to go back and look at Uncle Steve's pic again and tell me "Child Molester" doesnt scream out at you from behind those bucked teeth and beedy eyes.  Speaking of which, dude could eat squash through a tennis racquet with those chompers.  And the close set eyes are typical of the inbred north Florida necks.  Look at the way he fondles that poor child in front of him.  The kid is basically screaming out for someone to get that Chomo off of him.  The fact is, Untateve cant deal in the adult world, so he has to pick on little kids.  Again, that is not the type of individual who is ready to take on an opponent in the ring. 

 

Now, look at back at the pic again.  Go ahead, take a long look.  Look at his unbelieveably malnourished frame.  Let me analyze this shrink for a second.  He never got to have a real childhood so he doesnt want to grow up.  He deliberately withholds nourishment from himself so he can remain childlike.  Michael Jackson comes immediately to mind when looking at Untatave.  But when he says "Beat it"  he is holding a bottle of jerkins lotion and a box of tissues.  Put him in adult situations though and he will fall apart like a cheap watch.  His complete refusal to accept the adult world around him, would prevent him from ever striking someone, unless it was the bare ass of a 12 year old boy while he was playing "Headmaster and naughty school boy". 

 

Given all of that, I will take Uncle Steve in this battle of surrender.  The only reason is that the French havent won a battle in a couple hundred years, and that is too strong of a betting trend to ignore.  My guess is that they give each other hand jobs in the locker room after the fight.  Untateve in a unanimous decision...

 

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:D:huh: All 3 of these were great

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Ill take all you Oprahers out.  We rednecks from Texas, have small peeners 

 

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Ill take all you Oprahers out.  We rednecks from Texas, have small arsonals just waiting for someone to look at us the wrong way.

 

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You're matchup will be talked about for years. :D

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You're matchup will be talked about for years. :D

 

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Sarge vs Blitz. I think its been years and I still hear about the dojo comment to this day.

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Sarge vs Blitz.  I think its been years and I still hear about the dojo comment to this day.

 

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Did you guys meet in person during skys tour ?

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Sarge vs Blitz.  I think its been years and I still hear about the dojo comment to this day.

 

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Blitz goes tomorrow you go on Monday. Nope, it's not Blitz.

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Yep,

 

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Did you mix it up?

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Did you mix it up?

 

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Nope, he knew better. :D Actually I got to admit he's a nice guy.

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Nope, he knew better.  :D  Actually I got to admit he's a nice guy.

 

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He wanted to be paired against you but and I was gonna do the matchup but a better opportunity presented itself to me. I'll that he's nicer then people give him credit for he's given me no problems.

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He wanted to be paired against you but and I was gonna do the matchup but a better opportunity presented itself to me.  I'll that he's nicer then people give him credit for he's given me no problems.

 

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This should be interesting.

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He wanted to be paired against you but and I was gonna do the matchup but a better opportunity presented itself to me.  I'll that he's nicer then people give him credit for he's given me no problems.

 

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I didn't ask for any matchup ... I predicted that if you had been around long enough you might make that pairing ...

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I didn't ask for any matchup ...

 

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Punking out to Sarge before your match even begins, regardless of the opponent, cannot reflect well on the pre-fight analysis that will be done...

Edited by spain

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Punking out to Sarge before your match even begins, regardless of the opponent, cannot reflect well on the pre-fight analysis that will be done...

 

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:D

 

I have no mis-conception of how the analysis or vote will go.

 

I fear no one ... err wait, that didn't come out right ... I fear nobody.

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Dr. Sac, if Untateve is as good with his hands as he is with his quips, you'll be on the floor for a few minutes before you realize you got hit. :D

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Dr. Sac, if Untateve is as good with his hands as he is with his quips, you'll be on the floor for a few minutes before you realize you got hit. :D

 

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Untateve is IMO the brightest huddler on these boards.

But deary, these fights are not about quips, puns, or bon mots (that's french for gay talk) these fights are about unbridled violence in the rings unleashed from :D ...from :D ...the savage...uhm...keyboards...in uhm...internet...cyberspace :doah:

Ahem. My point is that I would have conceded to any normal American (I don't deny my french cultural surrender-gene) but you guys not only picked, but actively rooted for guy with his lover who have just abducted two innocent children from a park. You are going with the guy that has no interest in the NFL, yet who trolls an NFL fantasy football board looking for boys. Ever notice that the 12 year old poster on this board tend to 'dissapear'? Gotime, OIA, coffeeman etc...

Where do you think they are?

In Giligan pornstache's basement, that's where.

 

 

I am not conceding yet, as I notice that there is a trend that when Spain picks a winner, the opposition gets a big bump in the numbers.

 

BTW. :D:D:D on Spain's write up. This whole series will go down in huddle lore mostly due to his talent.

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Untateve is IMO the brightest huddler on these boards.

But deary, these fights are not about quips, puns, or bon mots (that's french for gay talk) these fights are about unbridled violence in the rings unleashed from :D ...from :D ...the savage...uhm...keyboards...in uhm...internet...cyberspace :doah:

Ahem.  My point is that I would have conceded to any normal American (I don't deny my french cultural surrender-gene) but you guys not only picked, but actively rooted for guy with his lover who have just abducted two innocent children from a park.  You are going with the guy that has no interest in the NFL, yet who trolls an NFL fantasy football board looking for boys.  Ever notice that the 12 year old poster on this board tend to 'dissapear'?  Gotime, OIA, coffeeman etc...

Where do you think they are?

In Giligan pornstache's basement, that's where.

I am not conceding yet, as I notice that there is a trend that when Spain picks a winner, the opposition gets a big bump in the numbers.

 

BTW. :D  :D  :D  on Spain's write up.  This whole series will go down in huddle lore mostly due to his talent.

 

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And still from the safety of under his bed, he beats upon his chest. Reminds me of a dog I once had ... that would feriously bark at other, as long as he was doing so from the safety of behind my legs.

Edited by Grits and Shins

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Untateve is IMO the brightest huddler on these boards.

But deary, these fights are not about quips, puns, or bon mots (that's french for gay talk) these fights are about unbridled violence in the rings unleashed from :D ...from :D ...the savage...uhm...keyboards...in uhm...internet...cyberspace :doah:

Ahem.  My point is that I would have conceded to any normal American (I don't deny my french cultural surrender-gene) but you guys not only picked, but actively rooted for guy with his lover who have just abducted two innocent children from a park.  You are going with the guy that has no interest in the NFL, yet who trolls an NFL fantasy football board looking for boys.  Ever notice that the 12 year old poster on this board tend to 'dissapear'?  Gotime, OIA, coffeeman etc...

Where do you think they are?

In Giligan pornstache's basement, that's where.

I am not conceding yet, as I notice that there is a trend that when Spain picks a winner, the opposition gets a big bump in the numbers.

 

BTW. :D  :D  :D  on Spain's write up.  This whole series will go down in huddle lore mostly due to his talent.

 

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i think the french thing is just too big of an obstacle, sac. i have to admit, i voted for you though (after seeing unta's picture :D )

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