Huddler Fistfight #9

[Puddy]

 

is ready for the battle to finally begin

[policyvote]

So imagine my surprise when I check in at the Huddle forums, and see that not only have I been put up against Puddy in a mano-y-mano Huddler showdown, but I came late and hecklers are already shouting at the ref to call it. To quote the late, great Richard Pryor:

 

Motherfucker, I ain't dead yet.

 

First, let's examine the small army of straw men my opponent has so conveniently set up and knocked down:

 

1) I support Joey Harrington.

 

That's right, I did and do. He's better than Jeff Garcia or Trent Dilfer or Doug Flutie or whatever backwater, warmed-over, best-man-at-his-real-estate-agent's-wedding, AARP-card-carrying, baseball-cap-wearing clipboard holder that might be available to replace him.

 

2) I'm not abandoning ship.

 

I BLEED Honolulu Blue. I have been a Lions fan since before I could spell "Detroit". I'm not afraid to admit it, either. I can't stand the "that's it, I'm not rooting for this team anymore" fans, who say that about every three or four weeks on their favorite team's message board (on which they post obsessively, year-round). I know this is a lifelong love affair. I've tried the old bandwagon-jumping "this is my SECOND favorite team" routine, but my heart wasn't in it. I say a real man supports his team no matter what the scoreboard says.

 

3) One time I said "that's 'Big Willie Style' to you, sir."

 

Hey, some punk called me "William Clay Ford" and I had to smack his ass back into place. Nobody pimps like Big Willie Style.

 

And just for the record, I'll spin Luda', Eminem, the Roots, or even Lil' Flip long before I break out my old 45 of "Parents Just Don't Understand".

 

Now, let's go to the videotape.

 

We already know that Puddy can't change a tire, but there's much more direct evidence that he spurns the taco and takes the sausage. He and Loaf (!!) went over to Furd's house. First, Loaf's take on the evening:

 

Originally posted by loaf: Furd's got a great Townhouse in an artsy, cool area. Vertical living. really a nice home and great location. Just wish that festival wasn't in town and we coulda driven down to the bars.

 

"The bars", eh?

 

originally posted by Puddy: Just got back from meeting loaf, and all I can say is:

 

ahaaaaaaaaaaa

 

Sounds like there was some major league going on. I hope you guys at least used a .

 

Now I follow this up with . . .

 

WHAT'S THIS?? NOTHING??

 

Yeah, that's right. I can only use his posts against him when he posts anything that's worth reading! Go do a search on Puddy posts. Subtract the one BOTH league, and 99% of his posts are either reposts of news articles or ninja page turns.

The only real football opinion I can find (dating back a year!) is that we should "move Clinton Portis up in our rankings" (for our next FF draft seven months from now, of course) because Hall of Fame coach / certified football genius Joe Gibbs added that guy from Kansas City to his legion of underlings. Way to stick your neck out there with the prediction, Captain Slide Rule. I suppose after running the cost/benefit analysis, it wouldn't be worth your time to actually put your opinions out there and take your lumps when you're wrong?

 

For those of you out there who remember, I posted a big long article about why I thought Ricky Williams' move from New Orleans to Miami would end up in disaster, not the Hall of Fame glory run everyone thought it would be. He had a huge season that year, so afterwards I bumped the post to the top and ate my crow--would Puddy be man enough to do that? No way. Besides--history will look back and say, "darn, policy sure was the voice in the wilderness on that one, eh?"

 

Notice served: this fight isn't over, it's just beginning.

 

Peace

policy

[Puddy]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I have to go to sleep for work tomorrow. Should give me enough time to think of a clever response.

 

Oh and P'vote - you haven't responded to the working for the French yet. If the corporate culture is as expected, you should throw in the towel pretty soon

Edited January 24, 2006 by Puddy

[spain]

So imagine my surprise when I check in at the Huddle forums, and see that not only have I been put up against Puddy in a mano-y-mano Huddler showdown, but I came late and hecklers are already shouting at the ref to call it.  To quote the late, great Richard Pryor:

 

Motherfucker, I ain't dead yet.

 

First, let's examine the small army of straw men my opponent has so conveniently set up and knocked down:

 

1) I support Joey Harrington.

 

That's right, I did and do.  He's better than Jeff Garcia or Trent Dilfer or Doug Flutie or whatever backwater, warmed-over, best-man-at-his-real-estate-agent's-wedding, AARP-card-carrying, baseball-cap-wearing clipboard holder that might be available to replace him.

 

2) I'm not abandoning ship.

 

I BLEED Honolulu Blue.  I have been a Lions fan since before I could spell "Detroit".  I'm not afraid to admit it, either.  I can't stand the "that's it, I'm not rooting for this team anymore" fans, who say that about every three or four weeks on their favorite team's message board (on which they post obsessively, year-round).  I know this is a lifelong love affair.  I've tried the old bandwagon-jumping "this is my SECOND favorite team" routine, but my heart wasn't in it.  I say a real man supports his team no matter what the scoreboard says.

 

3) One time I said "that's 'Big Willie Style' to you, sir."

 

Hey, some punk called me "William Clay Ford" and I had to smack his ass back into place.  Nobody pimps like Big Willie Style.

 

And just for the record, I'll spin Luda', Eminem, the Roots, or even Lil' Flip long before I break out my old 45 of "Parents Just Don't Understand".

 

Now, let's go to the videotape.

 

We already know that Puddy can't change a tire, but there's much more direct evidence that he spurns the taco and takes the sausage.  He and Loaf (!!) went over to Furd's house.  First, Loaf's take on the evening:

  "The bars", eh?

  Sounds like there was some major league  going on.  I hope you guys at least used a .

 

Now I follow this up with . . .

 

WHAT'S THIS??  NOTHING??

 

Yeah, that's right.  I can only use his posts against him when he posts anything that's worth reading!  Go do a search on Puddy posts.  Subtract the one BOTH league, and 99% of his posts are either reposts of news articles or ninja page turns. 

The only real football opinion I can find (dating back a year!) is that we should "move Clinton Portis up in our rankings" (for our next FF draft seven months from now, of course) because Hall of Fame coach / certified football genius Joe Gibbs added that guy from Kansas City to his legion of underlings.  Way to stick your neck out there with the prediction, Captain Slide Rule.  I suppose after running the cost/benefit analysis, it wouldn't be worth your time to actually put your opinions out there and take your lumps when you're wrong?

 

For those of you out there who remember, I posted a big long article about why I thought Ricky Williams' move from New Orleans to Miami would end up in disaster, not the Hall of Fame glory run everyone thought it would be.  He had a huge season that year, so afterwards I bumped the post to the top and ate my crow--would Puddy be man enough to do that?  No way.  Besides--history will look back and say, "darn, policy sure was the voice in the wilderness on that one, eh?"

 

Notice served: this fight isn't over, it's just beginning.

 

Peace

policy

 

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That one is going to leave a tire track down Puddy's back that cant be changed...

[Grits and Shins]

  That one is going to leave a tire track down Puddy's back that cant be changed...

 

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Right over top the yellow streak ...

[Dr. Sacrebleu]

I smell comeback!

[Grits and Shins]

I smell comeback!

 

1284887[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

That's me ... I farted ...

[whomper]

That's me ... I farted ...

 

1284891[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

 

He said comeback

[spain]

I smell comeback!

 

1284887[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

 

That's me ...

 

1284891[/snapback]

 

 

 

I was wondering why "comeback" smelled like Dick and Vasoline...

[whomper]

I was wondering why "comeback" smelled like Dick and Vasoline...

 

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a little slow there espana

[spain]

a little slow there espana

 

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wrong thread

[whomper]

wrong thread

 

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I meant your joke..

[Hugh 0ne]

 

Great post Policy, f'ing classic. Since I haven't voted yet, and since both are clearly gay, I'm leaning towards Policy pending Puddy's retort.

[Jumpin Johnies]

Sorry I didn't inform you Policy but most of the people I put in this game are blindided by their entry.

[Grits and Shins]

Sorry I didn't inform you Policy but most of the people I put in this game are blindided by their entry.

 

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It's easy to blind-side policy ... just listen to the manure he spews in the Tailgate and you will know he hasn't seen clearly in years.

[spain]

Another abysmal "fight", as if 2 Detroit Lions fans could ever put up a fight, that I was going to let slip silently and gracefully into obscurity. But since Policy finally came out from cowering underneath his bed to actually stand up to that big old mean intimidating bully accountant , I thought I would say a quick word or two. When I first noticed this matchup, it reminded me of a scene in the movie "Gladiator". No, not the parts where people actually fight and die. It was a scene where Spaniard was about to go into the ring to fight some other gladiator to the death. And although a gladiator himself, Spaniard realized that the entire concept was twisted and wrong. And as he stood just outside the Coliseum with sword and shield in hand preparing to fight and die, he said something to the effect of, "Markus Arrielius proclaimed the greatness of Rome! This is not it! This is NOT it!" Well, many times on this board I have proclaimed the greatness of boxing. Of mano e mano combat. The greatness of 2 combatants entering the ring to test their strength, their will, their mettle, their skill, and their physcial prowess. Gentlemen, THIS IS NOT IT! THIS IS NOT IT! This is not what the sweet science was meant to be. If this is what fighting has been reduced to then perhaps we as a people need to look inward at our own humanity and ask why? I would rather watch those 2 rednecks that came out of the stands at a Chicago White Sox game to beat up the 1st base umpire than watch these 2 ultra white boy dorks throw laughable windmill punches at one another. I am sickened and appalled at the thought of these 2 uncoordinated crackers even contemplating attending a boxing match, much less participate in one.

 

These two dorks share one unenviable thing it common: it is the love for the Detroit Lions. Like many of you, I was unaware of the lack of lucidity and sheer stupidity that is required in order to support this n'r do well franchise. But any illusion that I may have had about them being just like fans of any other franchise was completely obliterated long ago. When I first discovered The Huddle, this board was inundated with Lions fans. Of course, that was before it went pay, and the hugh $12 investment precluded 99% of the broke ass Lions fans from staying with us. But at that time, there were probably as many of them as Cowboys fans here. And quite frankly, I didnt have a problem with it and really didnt know much about the Detroit franchise as they are one of those teams that just never seemed to hit my radar screen. We all have our favorite teams here, and the respective fan bases and rivalries add to the enjoyment of this board. But the unmittigated pychosis of the Detroit fans while humorous in some respects, was very sad and troubling. And when I pointed out some of their foibles, many of them went ballistic and took offense as if I had insulted their mother, as if its possible to insult the crack addicts and prostitutes that whelped these weetodds. I even had the random death threat of two from some of their more ardent supporters. Can you imagine sending anonymous internet persona's death threats via email because they said something about your favorite team? Needless to say, I do believe that there is some brain damage inherent in these flat-lined morans.

 

As for the participants to this battle of the motor city Rosie O'Donnell, can you imagine 2 less equiped people to fight than these 2 "savages"? Policy is so scared of his own shadow, that he has decided to move to France to be with his own kind. Heck, it took nearly a week to come out from under his bed to face a limp wristed accountant in only a war of words. I will give Policy credit, he writes the most detailed and thorough pre-season analysis of any homer on this site. It is well written and researched. And like the Swallows returning to San Juan De Capistrano each year, you can count on it being absurdly wrong. A red ass ape could come closer in its predicitons of the Lions than Policy ever has. Again, its part and parcel of the idiocy known as Lions Pychosis. Optimistic beyond all reason, each pre-season, Policy busts out with one of his, "This year will be different, Charlie Brown" predictions and forecasts a division title and a playoff berth. And by week 3 of the season, when it is obvious that Policy was full of sh1t again, Policy slinks off to hide under his bed until the next preseason. Trust me, dont look for this coward after the 2nd week of October. He is scared that someone actually used his lame and pathetic predictions in betting or drafting ff players. So, he magically disappears and goes into hybernation until Summer when hope springs eternal. Well, now it appears that this spineless wimp has decided that his nest under his bed in Michigan isnt safe enough so he is moving to the land of cowards and punks. One good thing, the French are losers too so any Lions fans should feel at home there.

 

You would think that Policy would be ripe for the pickings in a cage match against any opponent. But what if that opponent is a dork accountant who cant even change a tire, much less change his panties after soiling them when some bully threatens him on the playground? Puddy became an accountant for a number of reasons. First, he didnt have the personality or good looks to be an economist. Secondly, he had has lunch money jacked everyday by the black dudes in his Detroit hood. Too keep his mind off of the complete Rosie O'Donnell he was, he kept track of how much each homey had taken, just to make sure that each of them got their fair share. If one of them was getting shorted, he would go ask his parents for more money, so he could keep all the natives happy. This obcession with keeping the ledger straight, led him to becoming an accountant. Well, that and the hope that nobody would actually hit a man with coke bottle glasses and a pocket protector with 17 #2 pencils in it. The man personifies cowardice. Dam, even frenchman call him scared. Nobody was happier when Policy failed to show up for their scheduled 10 round bout. Of course, he puffed up like a bull frog when Policy remained in hidding. Once Policy showed up however, we havent heard a peep out of Puddy. The Motor City Rosie O'Donnell indeed.

 

In terms of the bout itself, Iwoud call it a draw. Neither fighter would show up so we would have to DQ both of them. THIS IS NOT IT!!! THIS IS NOT IT!!!

Edited January 24, 2006 by spain

[junebugz]

Another abysmal "fight", ... You would think that Policy would be ripe for the pickings in a cage match against any opponent.  But what if that opponent is a dork accountant who cant even change a tire, much less change his panties after soiling them when some bully threatens him on the playground?  ...  THIS IS NOT IT!!!

 

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Can I change my vote?

[TimC]

A red ass ape could come closer in its predicitons of the Lions than Policy ever has.

 

Spain, you kill me.

 

Not in a Detroit killing way.

Edited January 24, 2006 by TimC

[Easy n Dirty]

 

many of them went ballistic and took offense as if I had insulted their mother, as if its possible to insult the crack addicts and prostitutes that whelped these weetodds...

 

And like the Swallows returning to San Juan De Capistrano each year, you can count on it being absurdly wrong.  A red ass ape could come closer in its predicitons of the Lions than Policy ever has... 

1285472[/snapback]

 

Outstanding.

[Puddy]

[Grits and Shins]

^