Doc Holliday Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Kev I wish the best for you and yours. gonna be tough on you as the courts seem to always take the womans side of things. Good luck KL, I hope it works out for the best. I have to deal with alot of this stuff too and I have to go to court in downtown Detroit, and believe me nothing that is handled by Detroit is ever easy My positive thoughts are with you and the kids AHH, the good ole 36th district. Been there a many times. Better than Boubian though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 The kids will start school with her, or rather in the town of her new residence. Although she had verbally told me otherwise, she, her attorney, and the magistrate all agreed that I was still entitled to my 2 midweek (school night) overnights as per the shared parenting plan. And the person starting possession of the kids must pick them up, meaning I must pick them up at 5:30 to start my overnight and she must pick them up in the morning to take them to school. I feel good about that, even though it just preserves the status quo. We still have the motion to modify custody to either get full custody or to designate me as the parent for school purposes. The hearing could have gone better, but I don't think it could have gonne better enough to change the outcome. We were charged with proving that the move would cause irreparable harm to the children, which is a difficult thing to prove. This was all on very short notice, I only found out about the move around August 1 and the 2nd week of August I was away on a business trip. So by the time I rounded up the $3500 for the attorney it was already August 12th. My attorney for the original divorce agreement did not do well and I now have a new attorney who has also handled a financial dispute with my ex-wife for me. Anyhow I met with the attorney and we made a plan, and agreed to meet again on the 19th. On the 19th he asked me for witnesses to call on my behalf and I feel like I was scrambling somewhat, I didn't expect this. I was able to line up 3 witnesses. The witnesses that I called all were able to testify to the childrens friendships, activities, and my involvement in the childrens lives, but apparently these factors were not very important to the irreparable harm issue so many times the magistrate did not allow the line of questioning that I expected to be helpful. In the shared parenting plan, the mother is named the residential parent for school purposes. Also the only stipulation on moving is that we are not allowed to move the children out of the state of Ohio. Nothing we were able to present at this hearing was able to overcome these factors. Note that the change of custody motion is different and much more information and testimony will be allowed at that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 So anyhow for now, the only changes are I must drive farther to pick up the kids, they will spend mucho time in the car travelling back and forth, and their new friends and activities will be far away from my home. I intend to become infinitely familiar with the factors that are taken into account in the next (custody) hearing, will have every question for every witness written down, and I think we will be able to focus better and we've got a decent chance. Not a sure thing by any means, but at least a chance. I can document that the school nights that I have (by far) had possession of the kids over the past 5 years are Sundays & Thursdays. However, we have been flexible with each others work schedules, etc. I intend to write a letter to her and cc her attorney, the magistrate, and the mediator, and get in writing that I will have the children each Sunday and Thursday unless otherwise agreed. This way I have documentation of any time that she does not comply with the visitation schedule. The next pre-trial hearing isn't scheduled until 8 weeks. I am considering trying to schedule things so that it gets resolved early next summer so that the children do not have to change schools mid-year. Thanks again for all the comments, prayers, and words of support. Chiefjay, we have a GAL assigned and I will definitely be in touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apathy Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Kevin, you must be emotionally exhausted and I'm sorry that things really didn't improve for you (yet). It's a shame you can't channel the Huddle as a character reference. Hopefully the change of custody will go much better. We're all pulling for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunysteelfly76 Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Good luck, Kevin. As Apathy said, we're pulling for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Best of luck again Kevin, everyone here is pulling for you. I am just thankful that my divorce was civil and we agreed and everything about our son. He lives a 6 hour drive away but he spends all vacation, holiday and summer time with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Scorp Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Good luck with the custody appeal, Kevin. It's a shame that the courts seem to side with the mom in most of these cases even when the Dad can be proven to be the more stable and caring. Hopefully, Dad's like you can help change the status quo! Again hang in there and my prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatman Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Hey Kev, sounds like things didn't go as well as they could have, but it also sounds like you're going to do everything you can to ensure that they do next time. Maybe we need to organize a Huddle Bus Trip to Ohio for the next hearing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchico Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Keep up the positive attitude. You've got to continue to live up to your end of the deal and let her make the mistakes. Sooner or later it sounds like she will screw up. Document everything and have your ducks lined up when you go back. Best wishes and prayers for you and the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutrun Jellies Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Glad to hear things worked out okay, even if they fell short of ideal. At least it wasn't a bad outcome. Hey, how rooted are you where you are? Maybe you end up moving closer to the kids for a few years to cut their time in the car, minimize their frustration with it, and maximize your time with them? Yep, it bites that she moved -- but maybe you can reduce the pain of the bite by moving too, even if it is just for the next few years as they go through school. Just don't move next door -- a little space may be a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted August 25, 2006 Author Share Posted August 25, 2006 Glad to hear things worked out okay, even if they fell short of ideal. At least it wasn't a bad outcome. Hey, how rooted are you where you are? Maybe you end up moving closer to the kids for a few years to cut their time in the car, minimize their frustration with it, and maximize your time with them? Yep, it bites that she moved -- but maybe you can reduce the pain of the bite by moving too, even if it is just for the next few years as they go through school. Just don't move next door -- a little space may be a good thing. Rooted - for one, due to the divorce, my credit is messed up to the extent that it would be difficult for me to buy another house. 2nd - I live already about 25 miles outside of downtown Cleveland where I work. She is moving another 35-40 miles in the opposite direction of my work. My computer specialization is such that to earn what I'm capable of, I pretty much need to work for a big company and that means in the Cleveland area. Also my 3 stepkids have friends and activities in the area where we live now. So thanks for the suggestion, but moving is probably not on our list of options. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 I wanted to update this as there are new developments: My ex-wife did indeed move (about a 40 minute drive) but kept her job in the town where I live. The visitation schedule we have followed works on a 2-week cycle. One week I get the kids on Tuesday night and then Friday night - Monday AM. The next week I get the kids from Thursday night - Saturday afternoon. Ex-wife works (again, in my town) on the school-nights that the kids are with me so she gets off work in the morning, picks them up, and transports them back to school. The only trip I have to make in this cycle is every other Saturday afternoon. I do have the kids every Friday night & Saturday which is good. (Except that having them on Friday nights affects my pizza delivery income). Soccer and basketball games have been on Saturday so they were able to continue to play in the leagues they were in previous years. I coached and held practices on Tuesday or Thursday. They missed about half of the practices. We met several times with the GAL (Guardian Ad Litum). In this case, he was paid by the parties not the state. I got a copy today of his report (7 pages). He discusses various individuals (kids, me, ex-wife, my new wife) and situations but in the end recommends Children reside with Mother during the school year Father has more weekend time Children reside with Father in summer I think there is good and bad in this report. The recommendations are backwards though. He several times mentions the mother's home as "unstructured." Also, mother has a night-job while I work days. My work schedule coincides with school, I am at work during the summer when they are off school. I have an appointment with my attorney this Saturday and a court date in late April. I plan to try to use the report to get the exact opposite outcome (me during school, her during summer). Again, please pray that the outcome is what's best for the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefjay Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I don't know Kev. Part of me says to stop wasting your time and money and just except the current outcome but part of me says to keep fighting for what you believe in. How old are the kids you share custody with? Good luck either way obviously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piranha Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Good luck Kev. Having to fight for your kids is never a fun thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatman Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Hope you get everything you're looking for for your children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 good luck Kev - keep us posted dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaP'N GRuNGe Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Good luck Kevin. Here's hoping everything turns out the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Best of luck Kev, I know how you feel. I have a 16 y/o son and they moved from Md to upstate NY, 600 miles away. I used to have him every afternoon and everyother weekend when they still lived here. Now he comes here a week at Thanksgiving and Christmas, a week in Feb for his winter break, a week at spring break and for the entire summer (end of June through Labor day weekend). So he is actually here about 4-5 months of the year, he comes for 3 day weekends Memorial day and a couple of other times as well. My new wife and I have a 20 month old daughter together and my new wife loves when my son comes down. Since he is a Jr in H/S he will be able to move here after he graduates. My ex has said he will not be allowed to move here until he finishes school and I am sure she will be pissed when he does move here. He tells her all the time he would rather be here instead of NY. I am sure if we went back to court and fought we could get him fulltime, but we get along ok now and would rather leave it that way since it is only just over a year before he can live here. Best of luck bud, and if you ever want to talk send me a PM. Also, what do you want to give me for Jamal Lewis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hat Trick Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 (edited) Keep fighting Kev!!!!!!!!!!! Just because they have a mother, doesn't mean they need to be with the mother full time. In other words just giving the custody to the mother cause she is the mother just doesn't fly with me. So keep fighting for what you believe in Kevin!!!!!! Edited March 28, 2007 by Hat Trick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 I don't know Kev. Part of me says to stop wasting your time and money and just except the current outcome but part of me says to keep fighting for what you believe in. How old are the kids you share custody with? Good luck either way obviously. Way too much time / $ invested to quit now. Not quite sure what you're asking re kids ages so I will give 'em all. My kids are 10 (son), 9 (daughter), 6 (daughter). New wife's kids from her 1st marriage are 14 (daughter), 10 (son), 8 (son). We have 1 together, age 1 (son). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChuckB Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Good luck Kev, I wish you the best. I definitely still have some of this in my future as my daughter is just shy of 5 and I am not happy with my current situation. I have her mon,wed,thur overnights one week (which is pretty good) and Tue afternoon, Fri, Sat overnights the other week. My ex is not willing to work together although she tries very hard to make it outwardly look so, I wanted to simply change the two "afternoons" a month that I have to overnights so my daughter can go to bed a her regular bedtime (which she doesn't have at her mom,s) and so I would have one mor day where I drop her off at school. Her mother refuses to agree to that so I will have to take her to court Sorry to add my woes to this and again best of luck in this situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted April 26, 2007 Author Share Posted April 26, 2007 Update again. Had the final settlement conference on Tuesday. We now have a court date in front of the judge (5/29). Judge is new and my attorney thinks we have a fair chance. I appreciate all the prayers and support, keep it up for 1 more month please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatman Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Keep us updated Kev - best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Update again. Had the final settlement conference on Tuesday. We now have a court date in front of the judge (5/29). Judge is new and my attorney thinks we have a fair chance. I appreciate all the prayers and support, keep it up for 1 more month please! Will do, Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 My neighbor is going through the same exact thing again in May for the 2nd time. You and he are both in my prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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