Court date tomorrow

[Wolverines Fan]

Good luck Kevin. I really hope this goes your way.

[Menudo]

Update again.

 

Had the final settlement conference on Tuesday. We now have a court date in front of the judge (5/29). Judge is new and my attorney thinks we have a fair chance.

 

I appreciate all the prayers and support, keep it up for 1 more month please!

 

 

Best of luck Kevin, I hope it works out for you and your kids.

[muck]

[theprofessor]

Hey bro, you know I'll be thinkin' about ya and your family here in this tough time. You know I'm a PM or phone call away if you need any support.

 

...

 

 

What Darin said. I went through an incredibly tough court battle for my two children about 8 years ago. I was fortunate enough to get custody of my kids. I applaud your efforts to stay involved with your children when they don't live with you. It would tear me up to be a "weekend only" Father. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[alchico]

Prayers and Good vibes are still streaming your way. Good things happen to Good people

[rocknrobn26]

Prayers and Good vibes are still streaming your way. Good things happen to Good people

 

Plus one! Good luck KL!

[KevinL]

Well we have our custody trial in front of the judge set for this Tuesday, 5/29, at 9:30 AM. Again I appreciate all the prayers of all my friends here.

 

I'm feeling very positive about this, their mom has done several foolish things in the past month, not the least of which being allowing my son (10) to be unsupervised at a park 1-2 miles from her home. He was supposed to be home by 5 but he was not. Around 6 he finally rolled home on his bike, he had gotten into a tackle football game with some older kids (age 15) and he suffered a mild concussion.

[wiegie]

I'm feeling very positive about this, their mom has done several foolish things in the past month, not the least of which being allowing my son (10) to be unsupervised at a park 1-2 miles from her home. He was supposed to be home by 5 but he was not. Around 6 he finally rolled home on his bike, he had gotten into a tackle football game with some older kids (age 15) and he suffered a mild concussion.

 

If your son rode his bike at a leisurely pace of 15 miles per hour, the park is only a five minute bike-ride away. If they live in the inner-city, this might be a big deal, but if they live in suburbia, it doesn't seem that out of line to me. (and it's not really his mom's fault that he played football with older kids)

 

I would tread lightly before using this scenario as evidence that she is a bad mom or else you could be setting yourself up for her to easily turn the tables on you if/when your son does something like this when he is in your custody.

 

That said, I will continue to pray that your children end up in the place that is best for them (and I will hope that that is with you).

Edited May 25, 2007 by wiegie

[T_bone65]

Best of luck with this Kevin, I just met with my neighbors new case worker about his son. I will be praying for you and your children.

[KevinL]

If your son rode his bike at a leisurely pace of 15 miles per hour, the park is only a five minute bike-ride away. If they live in the inner-city, this might be a big deal, but if they live in suburbia, it doesn't seem that out of line to me. (and it's not really his mom's fault that he played football with older kids)

 

I would tread lightly before using this scenario as evidence that she is a bad mom or else you could be setting yourself up for her to easily turn the tables on you if/when your son does something like this when he is in your custody.

 

That said, I will continue to pray that your children end up in the place that is best for them (and I will hope that that is with you).

 

 

I'm going to disagree here.

 

This kid is 10, he's in 4th grade. They live in a town of about 16000. He wasn't there with friends, with his sister, he was there basically alone.

 

He didn't come home at the time he was told to. (He does not obey his mother, the neutral GAL reported that the kids don't have any rules at their mother's home). No one went looking for him.

 

This is a 4th grader playing tackle football with a 9th grader. That is certainly a dangerous activity. It may not be his mother's fault that he played, but if she can't trust him not to, then she shouldn't allow him to be alone unsupervised.

 

This isn't a case of an alarmist saying, "Oh my, he could have gotten hurt or kidnapped." This is his father saying he DID get hurt.

[Caveman_Nick]

best of luck, Kevin.

[Thews40]

Good luck with this Kevin. I understand the frustration and expense in dealing with this. All you can do is your best, and when your kids turn 13 they can choose where they want to live. You are truly a man amongst men for taking on so much responsibility as a dad and step dad (a very difficult thing to do), and I wish you all the best, good vibes and prayers.

[wiegie]

I'm going to disagree here.

 

This kid is 10, he's in 4th grade. They live in a town of about 16000. He wasn't there with friends, with his sister, he was there basically alone.

 

He didn't come home at the time he was told to. (He does not obey his mother, the neutral GAL reported that the kids don't have any rules at their mother's home). No one went looking for him.

 

This is a 4th grader playing tackle football with a 9th grader. That is certainly a dangerous activity. It may not be his mother's fault that he played, but if she can't trust him not to, then she shouldn't allow him to be alone unsupervised.

 

This isn't a case of an alarmist saying, "Oh my, he could have gotten hurt or kidnapped." This is his father saying he DID get hurt.

 

All I am saying is that you had better tread lightly here because I can pretty much guarantee that no matter how wonderful you are as a parent that your son is going to do something even dumber when you have custody of him.

 

(Also, my parents divorced when I was seven and had custody battles until I was about 14 and it was a very miserable thing to have to go through (although I am sure that both of my parents thought that they were the better parent and hence deserved custody).)

[wiegie]

by the way, I am not at all suggesting that you shouldn't be granted custody or that your ex is in any way a good parent--I'm just saying that the initial evidence you gave us to demonstrate why your ex is an unfit parent doesn't seem overwhelming to me as an outside observer.

[Big John]

Good luck Kevin!

[KevinL]

by the way, I am not at all suggesting that you shouldn't be granted custody or that your ex is in any way a good parent--I'm just saying that the initial evidence you gave us to demonstrate why your ex is an unfit parent doesn't seem overwhelming to me as an outside observer.

 

 

That's just one recent glaring incident.

 

The main issue here is that we have a shared parenting agreement that she, I, and our attorneys worked out together which calls for me to have 2 school-night overnight visits. She has moved, taken a new job, and will not allow me to pick up the kids on any school nights.

 

The move was not in the kids best interest as it took away time with their other parent (me).

 

The court can't/won't make her move back so that we can continue the almost 50/50 time we had previously. One of us is going to get significantly more time than the existing agreement spells out.

 

Her moving (and disrupting the visitation schedule) is one of the factors in determining "best interests" (see below). Everything else is just extra.

 

Ohio Revised Code

 

(F)(1) In determining the best interest of a child pursuant to this section, whether on an original decree allocating parental rights and responsibilities for the care of children or a modification of a decree allocating those rights and responsibilities, the court shall consider all relevant factors, including, but not limited to:

 

(a) The wishes of the child’s parents regarding the child’s care;

 

( If the court has interviewed the child in chambers pursuant to division ( of this section regarding the child’s wishes and concerns as to the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities concerning the child, the wishes and concerns of the child, as expressed to the court;

 

© The child’s interaction and interrelationship with the child’s parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interest;

 

(d) The child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community;

 

(e) The mental and physical health of all persons involved in the situation;

 

(f) The parent more likely to honor and facilitate court-approved parenting time rights or visitation and companionship rights;

 

(g) Whether either parent has failed to make all child support payments, including all arrearages, that are required of that parent pursuant to a child support order under which that parent is an obligor;

 

(h) Whether either parent or any member of the household of either parent previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to any criminal offense involving any act that resulted in a child being an abused child or a neglected child; whether either parent, in a case in which a child has been adjudicated an abused child or a neglected child, previously has been determined to be the perpetrator of the abusive or neglectful act that is the basis of an adjudication; whether either parent or any member of the household of either parent previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to a violation of section 2919.25 of the Revised Code or a sexually oriented offense involving a victim who at the time of the commission of the offense was a member of the family or household that is the subject of the current proceeding; whether either parent or any member of the household of either parent previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to any offense involving a victim who at the time of the commission of the offense was a member of the family or household that is the subject of the current proceeding and caused physical harm to the victim in the commission of the offense; and whether there is reason to believe that either parent has acted in a manner resulting in a child being an abused child or a neglected child;

 

(i) Whether the residential parent or one of the parents subject to a shared parenting decree has continuously and willfully denied the other parent’s right to parenting time in accordance with an order of the court;

 

(j) Whether either parent has established a residence, or is planning to establish a residence, outside this state.

[wiegie]

The main issue here is that we have a shared parenting agreement that she, I, and our attorneys worked out together which calls for me to have 2 school-night overnight visits. She has moved, taken a new job, and will not allow me to pick up the kids on any school nights.

 

The move was not in the kids best interest as it took away time with their other parent (me).

 

The court can't/won't make her move back so that we can continue the almost 50/50 time we had previously. One of us is going to get significantly more time than the existing agreement spells out.

 

Her moving (and disrupting the visitation schedule) is one of the factors in determining "best interests" (see below).

That sucks. (As I have said before in this thread, I do hope you win (and I hope my above comments didn't come across as hostile as I honestly was just trying to be helpful).) Custody battles just suck for all involved.

[KevinL]

That sucks. (As I have said before in this thread, I do hope you win (and I hope my above comments didn't come across as hostile as I honestly was just trying to be helpful).) Custody battles just suck for all involved.

 

 

You didn't come across as hostile. And I also do give my son some freedom. But I know where he is and he knows to come home on time.

 

And of course I wish the kids did not have to go through this, and I'm keeping them out of the discussions as much as possible.

[KevinL]

The judge had a "docket problem".

 

We only had the morning today, and no time tomorrow. We had my "character witnesses" today. Everything else is put off until July 31 & August 2.

 

Found out today that my ex's new job has her working 4x10 hour days, M-W & F. That's 4 nights every week that the kids come home to a babysitter, she can't transport them to/from after school activities, ...

 

Yet another item in my favor (or at least it seems to me it should be).

[CaP'N GRuNGe]

I hope everything works out the best for your family Kevin.

[spain]

I'm feeling very positive about this, their mom has done several foolish things in the past month, not the least of which being allowing my son (10) to be unsupervised at a park 1-2 miles from her home. He was supposed to be home by 5 but he was not. Around 6 he finally rolled home on his bike, he had gotten into a tackle football game with some older kids (age 15) and he suffered a mild concussion.

 

Good luck and we are all pulling for you KevinL. I do know that in Tennessee, the father has essentially zero chance of being named the custodial parent without the mother being a pedophile, drug adict, AND being found to have killed Mother Teresa. This is an area of the law that really needs to be updated. That said, I am going to agree with Wiegie on the relevance of your above example being used as some sort of smoking gun as to your wife's unfitness to be a parent. So, the kid road his bike down to the park, got hurt in a football game, and came home a little late? That aint a big deal to most people KevinL. Now, combined with a bunch of other stuff, it might be used to show a pattern of neglect or indifference. But by itself, its barely worth mentioning. That is my opinion, and others may think differently. Again, best of luck and I hope the best interest of your kids is served.

[sunysteelfly76]

It sucks that you have to wait even more to get this resolved. Good luck, Kevin.

[whomper]

All the best Kevin

[KevinL]

Good luck and we are all pulling for you KevinL. I do know that in Tennessee, the father has essentially zero chance of being named the custodial parent without the mother being a pedophile, drug adict, AND being found to have killed Mother Teresa. This is an area of the law that really needs to be updated. That said, I am going to agree with Wiegie on the relevance of your above example being used as some sort of smoking gun as to your wife's unfitness to be a parent. So, the kid road his bike down to the park, got hurt in a football game, and came home a little late? That aint a big deal to most people KevinL. Now, combined with a bunch of other stuff, it might be used to show a pattern of neglect or indifference. But by itself, its barely worth mentioning. That is my opinion, and others may think differently. Again, best of luck and I hope the best interest of your kids is served.

 

 

The good thing here is, we currently have shared parenting. So I don't have to prove that she did anything horrible as you said, I just have to show that the situation has changed (she moved, pretty clear) and that it is in the kids best interests to be with me.

 

I don't have to use this park/football/concussion incident to show that she's an awful mother. You are correct in that regard. But also like what you said, this plus several other examples shows that the kid, in 4th grade, does not obey his mother and does what he pleases. This time it got him in a little trouble (mild injury).

 

Next time it could lead to more trouble. His mother also has another 20 year old son from her previous marriage. She got custody of him after we split up but while he was in high school. He didn't obey her, he punched holes in the wall, got involved with drugs, ran away from home, was 15 miles away and got brought home by the police.

 

This (and a bunch of other stuff), can be used to show a pattern of her not having control over the kids and them being endangered because of it.

 

I really don't want to get into ALL the boring details here, this thread is long enough. Thanks all for reading!

[chiefjay]

The judge had a "docket problem".

 

We only had the morning today, and no time tomorrow. We had my "character witnesses" today. Everything else is put off until July 31 & August 2.

 

Found out today that my ex's new job has her working 4x10 hour days, M-W & F. That's 4 nights every week that the kids come home to a babysitter, she can't transport them to/from after school activities, ...

 

Yet another item in my favor (or at least it seems to me it should be).

 

 

This is the kind of crap that I kind of talked about to you in my PM's or other threads but since you are local don't let it deter you and it sounds like it won't.

 

I don't think the judge / magistrate will fault her for working 40 hrs weeks no matter how she does it. We both know it's not a healthy situation but in the end I don't believe it will affect the case.

 

Good luck and keep on keeping on.

Edited June 1, 2007 by chiefjay