dabuffbills Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 This is an actual job application that a 75-year- old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas . They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Man) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: & nb sp;$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m.</FNT Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh yes, absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 He must have a great sense of humor to be looking for a job at Wally world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Agent Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 This is obviously fake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabuffbills Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 This is obviously fake. I don't know where it came from, I got it in an e-mail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I don't know where it came from, I got it in an e-mail You really think a 75-year old man would use phrases like "it sucked" or "Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now." Mmmmk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 It is obviously not real but take it like we take a movie like Super Bad or something like that and just pretend that there is some 75 year old guy that filled this out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 does snopes have a ruling on this ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 does snopes have a ruling on this ? already looked, nothing on there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SF409ers Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 does snopes have a ruling on this ? If you google the title "This is an actual job application that a 75-year- old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas" it comes up all over the place in joke sites, etc. It would be safe to say this is most definitely a fake. I thought this was one of the funnier answers though - DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabuffbills Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 I simply received it in an e-mail and thought it was funny. The title of the e-mail is what I made the title of the thread. I do not think this is an actual application, but I do think it is funny. That's why I posted it. Carry on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SF409ers Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I simply received it in an e-mail and thought it was funny. The title of the e-mail is what I made the title of the thread. I do not think this is an actual application, but I do think it is funny. That's why I posted it. Carry on... I thought parts of it where funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 does snopes have a ruling on this ? False when a 17-year-old did the same for McDonald's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I simply received it in an e-mail and thought it was funny. The title of the e-mail is what I made the title of the thread. I do not think this is an actual application, but I do think it is funny. That's why I posted it. Carry on... Shame on you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 i have a penguin in my bathroom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 This post is to comedy what heath ledger is to acting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 i have a penguin in my bathroom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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