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Tipping Ettiquette


muck
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Should I have put a negative number on the "additional tip" line and subtracted it from the $51.60 total?  

37 members have voted

  1. 1. Should I have put a negative number on the "additional tip" line and subtracted it from the $51.60 total?

    • Yes, you should have put a negative number in that line
      7
    • No, you should not have done that (but you should call the restaurant and let them know you're never coming back)
      22
    • No, you should not have and don't call the manager, just simply don't ever go back
      8


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Muck, if I may.

 

You may.

 

My point was that I do not spend any time on it (determining tip)...look at the bill, approximate 15% and round to the nearest whole dollar...without really thinking about how good or bad job anyone did. Because of the rounding, I'm just as likely to leave a 14% tip as I am a 16% tip. I guess I didn't realize that was a big deal to the wait staff. If it is, then that's good to know.

 

To my point, I have NO idea which of the three or four TexMex places we go to during the year have better prices on fajitas. Literally none. So, I promise, I won't be sitting there thinking, "hmmm...this fajita is $16 and is only 10% worse than the one I paid $20 for three weeks ago, I'm getting a big-time deal tonight ... yeah me!" ... it simply isn't on my radar at all.

 

We eat out to give my wife a break from the kitchen and to socialize with our dear friends (we eat out every other Friday with the same familiy). I don't pay any attention (unless it's REALLY bad or REALLY good ... or ... I had a low-stress easy week (haven't had one of those in months) and I can pay attention to things beyond our friends and our kids).

 

Finally, and on a separate note, Policy noted that 'normal' tip moved from 10% to 15% to 20% in what seems like 10-15yrs. Personally, I think it is much more of a social thing (i.e., wanting to appear to be better off financially than we really are to our friends and acquaintences) and trying to inply that you can afford to charge up a 20-25% tip when in fact your financial situation is such that you probably shouldn't be eating out at all (i.e., similar to buying a bigger TV or nicer/newer car than you can really afford just to try to impress someone else rather than watching the old box or driving the older car you've already got).

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i guess it's just part of my world view: most people want to do their best. by offering feedback, we as customers can have a small impact on helping people (organizations, companies, politians....whatever) move towards that..... and on a small level shape them into what we are looking for (which helps them stay in business). i find it mutually beneficial.

 

outside of being in an area i do not frequent, it is very rare that i will not return to a place. i believe in a 3 strike policy (that can vary on the severity of the strikes). any place can have an off night.... i like to give peopleplaces second chances.

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As a new member in the food service industry, I must say, with all due respect, that some of you have absolutely ZERO clue.

 

I don't want a clue with the inner workings of a restaurant...I just want my f'n sammich!! Is that too much to ask?

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I guess I didn't realize that was a big deal to the wait staff. If it is, then that's good to know.

You'd be surprised at how something as little as an extra dollar on a tip can matter to a server. I can't exactly explain why, but getting a slightly higher tip than expected felt great, but getting a slightly lower tip than expected felt terrible (even if the difference was only about a dollar or two between the two choices).

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I hate the waiter not bringing the food anymore. I find it very unprofessional for some reason.

 

Waiters generally are doing serious multi-tasking. He could be taking an order from a table of 8 that could take 10 minutes. So you'd rather wait for your waiter to bring out your food cold rather than have someone else bring it out piping hot?

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Det, as Policy said, I can't count how many times the guy bringing the food comes and we ask for something like a drink refill or something is wrong with the order and he says, "Let me get your waiter" (which takes several minutes at the least) and all of a sudden I have another person in the layer of issues. I only need one person in my life when I go to dinner, don't I? :wacko:

 

This is obviously a ploy by the restaurant manager to cut staff. You could have 4 waiters to deal with a restaurant. But no, in order to save the $3.00 an hour (if that), the manager decides to have 2 waiters and someone to bring food resulting in chaos.

This is actually not true. In fact, the restaurant typically pays food runners more per hour than waiters so, even if it results in one less person the difference in cost to the restaurant is tiny if anything. Also, the increased efficiency is not so much that 3 can do the work of 4, more like 5 can do the work of 6 or maybe 4 can do the work of 5.

 

Seriously, for the places that do it the right way, the reason is entirely to better serve the dining room. If you have to ask this runner for anything that they can't bring themselves, that just means you have a bad waiter because the entire reason for the waiter/runner system is, again, to allow the waiter more time on the floor making sure that you have the drink refill, etc.

 

I can assure you that if you're getting bad service in a place that employs this system, it would be worse still if the waiter was also in charge of running back and forth to get the food as well. Because, quite simply, you're being served by bad servers who, more than anyone else, need this system.

 

So, riddle me this? Your waiter is in the middle of taking an order for a party of 10 and, part way through, your entrees come up. Are you saying that you'd rather they sit in the window until he's done? Or would you rather someone else run them to you?

Edited by detlef
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You may.

 

My point was that I do not spend any time on it (determining tip)...look at the bill, approximate 15% and round to the nearest whole dollar...without really thinking about how good or bad job anyone did. Because of the rounding, I'm just as likely to leave a 14% tip as I am a 16% tip. I guess I didn't realize that was a big deal to the wait staff. If it is, then that's good to know.

 

To my point, I have NO idea which of the three or four TexMex places we go to during the year have better prices on fajitas. Literally none. So, I promise, I won't be sitting there thinking, "hmmm...this fajita is $16 and is only 10% worse than the one I paid $20 for three weeks ago, I'm getting a big-time deal tonight ... yeah me!" ... it simply isn't on my radar at all.

 

We eat out to give my wife a break from the kitchen and to socialize with our dear friends (we eat out every other Friday with the same familiy). I don't pay any attention (unless it's REALLY bad or REALLY good ... or ... I had a low-stress easy week (haven't had one of those in months) and I can pay attention to things beyond our friends and our kids).

 

Finally, and on a separate note, Policy noted that 'normal' tip moved from 10% to 15% to 20% in what seems like 10-15yrs. Personally, I think it is much more of a social thing (i.e., wanting to appear to be better off financially than we really are to our friends and acquaintences) and trying to inply that you can afford to charge up a 20-25% tip when in fact your financial situation is such that you probably shouldn't be eating out at all (i.e., similar to buying a bigger TV or nicer/newer car than you can really afford just to try to impress someone else rather than watching the old box or driving the older car you've already got).

When I read that in Policy's post, my first thought was, "Odd, I've been in the biz for about 25 years and can't ever remember a time when 10% was OK."

 

As I've said before, I find it somewhat annoying that it's moved from 15% because that really should be fine. Restaurant prices go up, thus, so does 15% of restaurant prices.

 

Also, like I said before, I am not advocating that you do any more than sit back and eat your meal with your family. In fact, I highly encourage that every does exactly that. They will always enjoy the experience more. If not, you will never be any more than simply satisfied, never pleased.

 

This includes customers who tend to ask for things the nanosecond before it was going to happen.

 

"I'd like so more water!"

"Gee, good thing I just happened to be standing here with a water pitcher tilting above your glass."

 

"I'd like some more bread."

"And lookie here, lucky me that I just walked to your table with a basket of bread."

 

"We're done now."

"Thanks for telling me, so I should continue removing your plates from the table?"

 

ETA: Needless to say I've never said or would tolerate a waiter ever saying any of the above things. None the less, it bugs the hell out of you when it happens. Like has been mentioned with the difference in how a buck or two makes you feel depending on which side of 15% it makes the tip fall, if you're on top of things, it bugs you to think that this jackass feels like he wouldn't be getting what he wanted if he wasn't riding you.

Edited by detlef
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You know what is a real bitch sometimes ? When you go out with another couple and are splitting the bill evenly but have different tip philosophies than the person you are splitting with. If you arent in agreement it is pretty awkward no matter how you solve it.

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You know what is a real bitch sometimes ? When you go out with another couple and are splitting the bill evenly but have different tip philosophies than the person you are splitting with. If you arent in agreement it is pretty awkward no matter how you solve it.

If it helps, the waiter knows who's was who's. I know what you're talking about, though.

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You know what is a real bitch sometimes ? When you go out with another couple and are splitting the bill evenly but have different tip philosophies than the person you are splitting with. If you arent in agreement it is pretty awkward no matter how you solve it.

 

True that. Then other one that really bothers me, is say I'm picking up the bill and my cheap buddy says I'll get the tip, and then tips something like 12%.

 

ETA: So do you supplement his tip and risk offending him, or do you offend the waiter?

Edited by Perchoutofwater
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You know what is a real bitch sometimes ? When you go out with another couple and are splitting the bill evenly but have different tip philosophies than the person you are splitting with. If you arent in agreement it is pretty awkward no matter how you solve it.

 

One guy picks up the bill, does the calculations and tells the other guy how much he owes.

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wow...for some reason this mundane subject always gets a very interesting thread going :wacko:

 

first of all, I think a 20% post tax auto-grat on what is essentially two parties of 5 eating together is total bullchit. I take issue with that on all 3 levels -- the 20%, the post-tax aspect (which is TOTALLY inexcusable, even if only a few cents), and also the fact that your split check scenario tiggers it. I would have said so to a manager type, in addition to never stepping foot in the joint again.

 

the biggest problem with auto-grats is they encourage bad service. the waiter already hates you when you walk in with the 3 kids and another family....knowing his bread is buttered either way, he has almost zero incentive to give you decent service. honestly, I don't think I've ever gotten better-than-average service at a large table at a place where 1 tip of 18% or more was automatically added.

 

personally, I will make a point of going over 20% if the service is notably good (not much, but maybe a dollar or two more than a round-up), and under 15% if it is notably bad -- and yes the main point is sending a message that you did a great job or a bad job. for typically good service (I don't feel I'm very demanding), I just typically look at the pre-tax total and do the quick divide-by-10-times-2 math and round to the nearest dollar.

 

but yeah, why did it have to go from 15% to 20%? I agree with muck that it is primarily an ego thing on the part of the customer. but whatever, I guess I am ok going along -- rather do that than be the cheapass nobody wants to serve because I tip 15%, I suppose. which I realize just feeds the escalation further, but again, whatever.

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True that. Then other one that really bothers me, is say I'm picking up the bill and my cheap buddy says I'll get the tip, and then tips something like 12%.

 

ETA: So do you supplement his tip and risk offending him, or do you offend the waiter?

 

Neither. You decline his offer to pick up the tip and tell him that he can pick up the bill next time.

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One guy picks up the bill, does the calculations and tells the other guy how much he owes.

 

One guy picks up the tab says "It all evens out in the end you get me next time." Problem solved. Of course that doesn't work if there are any women around. They have to figure that chit down to the last penny. That drives me crazy.

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One guy picks up the bill, does the calculations and tells the other guy how much he owes.

 

 

It is usually customary to do the look then face down check slide to the other guy isnt it ? If I grab the check first I look and do a quick calculation then slide it to the other person. Then we say the number out loud completely rendering the face down slide useless

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Of course that doesn't work if there are any women around. They have to figure that chit down to the last penny. That drives me crazy.

 

may be slightly more true of women than of men....but really it just depends which type of either you chose to marry. I will say, however, I love the figure-it-to-the-last-penny type infinitely more than the d00sh who gets a 9 dollar burger, a 2.50 coke and gets his 12 bucks in there before anyone else looks at the bill.

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may be slightly more true of women than of men....but really it just depends which type of either you chose to marry. I will say, however, I love the figure-it-to-the-last-penny type infinitely more than the d00sh who gets a 9 dollar burger, a 2.50 coke and gets his 12 bucks in there before anyone else looks at the bill.

 

 

My neighbor is big on that when she goes out with my wife. My wife looks the other way but cant believe the balls on this woman . Just the other day they all went to pizza hut. Pizza hut has a reading program rewards system where your kid gets a certificate for a small pan pizza if they hit a certain level. So my 2 kids and their 2 kids got these certificates and they all went. Aside from the freebies my wife got some food and each kid got a drink. This womans daughter got a 4 dollar sierra mist. The mom got a 1 dollar drink special and the son got a 2 dollar drink. Plus the mom ate a slice of the extra pie my wife got and her son ate a slice as well. The mom felt 5 dollars was sufficient for all of that since my wife ordered the pie and was taking the rest home

 

7 dollars in drinks and nada towards the tip and she gave a 5.

Edited by whomper
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i guess it's just part of my world view: most people want to do their best. by offering feedback, we as customers can have a small impact on helping people (organizations, companies, politians....whatever) move towards that..... and on a small level shape them into what we are looking for (which helps them stay in business). i find it mutually beneficial.

 

outside of being in an area i do not frequent, it is very rare that i will not return to a place. i believe in a 3 strike policy (that can vary on the severity of the strikes). any place can have an off night.... i like to give peopleplaces second chances.

 

I absolutely agree with this. I'm never afraid to ask for a manager and give feedback if I had a very negative or very positive experience. Let me offer another anecdote: I went to a Houlian's a few years ago, shortly after they remodeled--new decor, new menu, etc. It got a lot more upscale, and the menu (both the food offered and the physical document) got big doses of hip, funky, young, and current. My wife was a strict vegetarian at the time, and nowhere in the (IIRC) 14-page menu was there anything for her. She had to order two appetizers to make do. We really liked the flavors, the presentation, and the decor--but to me this was an inexcusable miss when you're going both upscale and hip within 15 minutes of a college with 50,000 people. Not to mention, I tried to share a nice meal with my wife and she had to load up on spinach-artichoke dip. I asked our server if we could speak to the manager and her eyes went huge. I only got as far as "My wife is a vegeta--" and he groaned and profusely apologized. Apparently he'd complained to corporate about their oversight on the new menu, and he said he'd be using experiences like ours to convince them to make a change. We came back with my sister-in-law and her husband about a year ago, and found that they'd added a mushroom entree; we had a really nice meal together. We could have just written the place off, but instead we have another good option in a town that's starving for good restaurants.

 

Har har.

 

Peace

policy

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True that. Then other one that really bothers me, is say I'm picking up the bill and my cheap buddy says I'll get the tip, and then tips something like 12%.

 

ETA: So do you supplement his tip and risk offending him, or do you offend the waiter?

 

I've been known to supplement on the sly. Actually, at one recent event, we were with a group of about 20 people (all adults) for a birthday party, went to Pf Changs and sat by the kitchen. The guy running the kitchen (not the chef, but the guy making sure orders were coming up in a timely manner, were correct and getting sent to the right table) made sure we were taken care of, and as my wife is very allergic to mushrooms, he paid special attention to point out anything that had mushrooms in it, to reccomend dishes that were mushroom free and also offered to have anything she wanted that would have mushrooms in it custom made for her without mushrooms. All in all, an exceptional experience thanks to him. He also arranged for the chefs to do a series of flaming woks which was pretty cool. I made it a point to pull him aside when we were done and gave him a very genrous tip. He in turn accepted, but said it would go to the cooks who deserved it more than he did.

 

One guy picks up the tab says "It all evens out in the end you get me next time." Problem solved. Of course that doesn't work if there are any women around. They have to figure that chit down to the last penny. That drives me crazy.

 

I agree with the it evens out philosophy. It annoys me to no end when out to dinner with my family and my wife's sister;'s family and it has to get figured out. I mean, come on, we go out oftn enough together that it will all come out in the end, and it's not like either of us can't afford it.

 

may be slightly more true of women than of men....but really it just depends which type of either you chose to marry. I will say, however, I love the figure-it-to-the-last-penny type infinitely more than the d00sh who gets a 9 dollar burger, a 2.50 coke and gets his 12 bucks in there before anyone else looks at the bill.

 

Point well taken. Have a few friends from college that were/are that way.

 

 

Who amongst us wouldn't look the other way if we saw balls on a woman? There some things you just can't un-see.

 

While you can't unsee it, is it not like a trainwreck where you just couldn't turn away?

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I've never seen gratuity applied to a bill at 20%. Usually 15 or 18% for parties over 8 around here. I would talk to or write a note to the manager letting him/her know you won't be back and why. That's a courtesy I appreciate as a manager (different biz) so I can remedy the problem for other customers.

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I don't want a clue with the inner workings of a restaurant...I just want my f'n sammich!! Is that too much to ask?

 

This.

 

I don't want to know anything about why being a waiter or a restaurant owner is such a challenge, any more than my customers want to hear about how difficult my job is. They just want the job done. If they really wanted to be involved with all the challenges and BS, they'd do it themselves rather than hire me.

 

Give me a seat. Give me my drinks. Give me my food. Give me my check. If you have complications and challenges on top of these simple tasks, that seems like a massive breakdown of the dining experience that isn't my problem.

Edited by AtomicCEO
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