Giving Birth

[Brentastic]

I'm looking for your thoughts and opinions, huddlers. My wife is due in the next few weeks with our 2nd child (girl this time). She went to the doctor yesterday and found out she is dialated. Anyways, the doctor told her that she could come back next week to get induced. Now, let me just back up a bit - my wife was induced with our son, but it was because the doctor saw the heart rate decrease or something, basically, it was because of a medical reason. So, my immediate response to my wife was that I want the process to be as natural as possible. I don't want to fruck with nature etc... She reminded me that it's her decision and that it would be nice to plan on it since we have a 20 month old - that way her mom could be here to watch him (all of our relatives live out of town, about 3 hours away). She had some other reasons that were not based on convenience but they allude me now.

 

So, I'm curious what you all think about this approach - being induced rather than waiting for your water to break and have steady contractions? I really don't like the idea at all but maybe I'm overreacting. I need some huddle input on this.

[tonorator]

planning-wise, it's da bomb. health-wise, i'll leave that to chargerz ...

Edited March 24, 2010 by tonorator

[bpwallace49]

I have three, and while they all started naturally, my wife still had to have a drug that "sped up the process". She also has a back condition that almost requires a epidermal.

 

Is she planning on having an epidural? if so, then how do you separate that versus inducing birth? Isnt it the sam thing? Drugs is drugs . . . .

 

But I would prefer to hear what the Elliot Wave Theory has to say on the subject first . . . . .

[Brentastic]

I have three, and while they all started naturally, my wife still had to have a drug that "sped up the process". She also has a back condition that almost requires a epidermal.

 

Is she planning on having an epidural? if so, then how do you separate that versus inducing birth? Isnt it the sam thing? Drugs is drugs . . . .

 

But I would prefer to hear what the Elliot Wave Theory has to say on the subject first . . . . .

I'm sure she will get the epidural since she vowed not to last time and eventually caved in. That's different though because it relieves pain for the woman. Inducing speeds up the process and to me is messing with nature.

[MrTed46]

I'm sure she will get the epidural since she vowed not to last time and eventually caved in. That's different though because it relieves pain for the woman. Inducing speeds up the process and to me is messing with nature.

 

I don't know if it makes a difference, but I trust modern medicine and it would not bother me one bit. - Hope this helps.

[Brentastic]

Here's my wife's reasoning:

 

Main reason is b/c we have no one up here for leo and mainly for August. What happens if i go into labor at 2am? What do i do if i go into labor while i'm at work, that means you it takes you an hour and a half to go get August and then you may miss the birth of your daughter. Dr. Wos said labor will not be 2 hours long like it was w/ August so you have to be there with me the whole time. Who would take August if Paul or my Mom is not here??

What if you leave work and do all that and then i get sent home and then we do it all over again? It's different this time b/c we have August and we have no family here to depend on.

 

I can physical wait the last week to have her, that's not why i would do it. I will be completely worried about August if we go spontaneously! He'd have nothing packed, whoever takes him wouldn't know his routine, i'd have to have a major list of food, bedtime, rules, safety issues all ready and who do i give it to? Gena, NO. Pauline, it would take her forever to come get him, put the car seat in her car, etc.

 

I'm not going to worry ~ i can't. I was up all night in disbelief that i'm already 1cm, which i could stay at for the next 2 weeks. Dr. Wos although feels very confident that i'll go on my own the week of 4/5 so i'm just going to assume that's what will happen. April 7th is my last appointment, that is the day we would schedule an induction if I want to.

Edited March 24, 2010 by Brentastic

[bpwallace49]

I'm sure she will get the epidural since she vowed not to last time and eventually caved in. That's different though because it relieves pain for the woman. Inducing speeds up the process and to me is messing with nature.

 

But isnt pain part of the process too? I just dont really see the difference between cherry picking drugs. I would say of she isnt going totally natural, then why bother worrying? I cant remember thename of the drug my wife was given for our first child, but her water broke naturally, she had contractions, but it wasnt progressing quickly enough for the doctor so she was on a drug that sped up the process so the baby wouldnt be in "distress". Would that bother you as well if they did something like that? Or is it just the arbitrary picking of a specific day and time to plan for the baby?

[bpwallace49]

Here's my wife's reasoning:

 

That makes complete sense. IMo dont sweat it Brent . . schedule the birth. You have already frucked with nature by getting an epidural . . . . why not make it convenient as well?

 

Unless you want to call rockinrobin to babysit . . . . .

[Chief Dick]

First one came naturally, second one came induced.

 

I would induce again as it made it easier to arrange care for the older one while we were in the hospital. My assumption is that if it wasn't safe doctors wouldn't do it, so I'm good with that part.

[matt770]

Well that tears it, we're getting a puppy and that's that. Wife can moan all she wants about having kids, tough titties I say.

[Brentastic]

But isnt pain part of the process too? I just dont really see the difference between cherry picking drugs. I would say of she isnt going totally natural, then why bother worrying? I cant remember thename of the drug my wife was given for our first child, but her water broke naturally, she had contractions, but it wasnt progressing quickly enough for the doctor so she was on a drug that sped up the process so the baby wouldnt be in "distress". Would that bother you as well if they did something like that? Or is it just the arbitrary picking of a specific day and time to plan for the baby?

Speeding up the process due to medical reasons (baby in distress) is perfectly acceptable by me. And although pain is also part of the process, it doesn't affect the natural timing of the birth like inducing does. My goal is not to be totally natural, my goal is to allow the birthing process to be natural. Getting pain meds does not fruck with the birthing process, it only helps the mother with pain. There is a big difference between the two.

[Chief Dick]

Speeding up the process due to medical reasons (baby in distress) is perfectly acceptable by me. And although pain is also part of the process, it doesn't affect the natural timing of the birth like inducing does. My goal is not to be totally natural, my goal is to allow the birthing process to be natural. Getting pain meds does not fruck with the birthing process, it only helps the mother with pain. There is a big difference between the two.

 

Sometimes waiting to go naturally adds size and weight to the baby, which makes delivery more difficult.

[Brentastic]

First one came naturally, second one came induced.

 

I would induce again as it made it easier to arrange care for the older one while we were in the hospital. My assumption is that if it wasn't safe doctors wouldn't do it, so I'm good with that part.

I totally understand the 'easier' part and it would really help us plan. But I just think us humans shouldn't be concerned with convenience when dealing with nature's plan of birth. For those of us who believe in astrology, I fear messing with the timing due to convenience could have drastic karmic implications. I know I'll hear chit for that rationale.

[geeteebee]

Our 4 were all induced and only 3 turned out to be serial killers, so far.

 

Seriously though, women have been having babies since the earth was created 6,500 years ago and drugs have been used in one form or fashion for much of that time. I think it is a little whack to think drugs for pain are ok but not to speed up the process. IMHO you are over thinking this and creating undue stress on your wife at this very stressful time.

[SeductiveNun]

Or is it just the arbitrary picking of a specific day and time to plan for the baby?

This is his issue if I read him correctly.

 

My wife's water broke at home but she wasn't having contractions at the time. They ended up inducing her but it wasn't working and the baby was in distress, so they went with the C-section. If I understand brentastic correctly, he has no problem with the induction due to medical reasons for mother or child, but is against playing "Mother Nature" and dictating when the baby will be born.

 

And FWIW, my wife and I agree with brentastic on this one.

[i_am_the_swammi]

I wouldn't worry about frucking with nature....the fact that you planted your seed is stretching the boundaries with what nature intended anyway.

[matt770]

I totally understand the 'easier' part and it would really help us plan. But I just think us humans shouldn't be concerned with convenience when dealing with nature's plan of birth. For those of us who believe in astrology, I fear messing with the timing due to convenience could have drastic karmic implications. I know I'll hear chit for that rationale.

 

It seems that your wife does not share your beliefs, at least not enough to sway her from inducing for convenience. So IMO you need to weigh the importance of being there for the birth against your spiritual beliefs. If Karma is enough of a factor, you'll take care of the other kids yourself, even if it means missing this birth. Or, you'll come up with another solution that satisfies your wife, so that she can just relax and wait for the time to arrive. I'm guessing from reading her words that you're not in a position to get her to come around to your beliefs on the matter.

[Chief Dick]

Here is the easiest answer:

 

Do what your wife wants to do.

[wiegie]

My advice is that as long as the doctors are ok with it, you let your wife do whatever the hell she wants to do.

 

My guess is that psychologically it is helping your wife to have a set schedule of when things are going to happen. Giving birth is stressful enough in any case, having some control over things might make things easier for your wife.

 

(For what it's worth, my wife is due with our third son in 2.5 weeks too.)

[Brentastic]

This is his issue if I read him correctly.

 

My wife's water broke at home but she wasn't having contractions at the time. They ended up inducing her but it wasn't working and the baby was in distress, so they went with the C-section. If I understand brentastic correctly, he has no problem with the induction due to medical reasons for mother or child, but is against playing "Mother Nature" and dictating when the baby will be born.

 

And FWIW, my wife and I agree with brentastic on this one.

Finally someone who actually reads all the information in a post. You understand me perfectly and thanks for the response.

[matt770]

Here is the easiest answer:

 

Do what your wife wants to do.

 

We men could accomplish so much if only there was a pill to make us immune from the crying, moaning and bitching of the women in our lives. I'm not advocating abuse or neglect, just not caving so easily out of guilt, not wanting to make waves, not wanting to be the a**hole, or just for some peace and quiet. Make no mistake, they know they have this power over us, and they use it to their full advantage.

 

This man's child is every bit his as it is his wife's. He's got some strong spiritual beliefs about how the child should be born, yet I'm sure most of us (myself included), when first reading his posts thought "Oh boy. I'd just let the wife do it how she wants, make things much easier..."

 

Now granted, she's the one who has to carry the child for 9 months, and usually it is the mom who is the primary caregiver for the kids, so she carries the weight of concern for what happens to the other two kids while she's in labor. I get that. Which is why I say he should address and relieve her concerns by coming up with a plan to make sure the other kids are taken care of while she's in labor, and make it clear he's doing it because of his strong beliefs about letting the birth happen at the natural time.

[Brentastic]

We men could accomplish so much if only there was a pill to make us immune from the crying, moaning and bitching of the women in our lives. I'm not advocating abuse or neglect, just not caving so easily out of guilt, not wanting to make waves, not wanting to be the a**hole, or just for some peace and quiet. Make no mistake, they know they have this power over us, and they use it to their full advantage.

 

This man's child is every bit his as it is his wife's. He's got some strong spiritual beliefs about how the child should be born, yet I'm sure most of us (myself included), when first reading his posts thought "Oh boy. I'd just let the wife do it how she wants, make things much easier..."

 

Now granted, she's the one who has to carry the child for 9 months, and usually it is the mom who is the primary caregiver for the kids, so she carries the weight of concern for what happens to the other two kids while she's in labor. I get that. Which is why I say he should address and relieve her concerns by coming up with a plan to make sure the other kids are taken care of while she's in labor, and make it clear he's doing it because of his strong beliefs about letting the birth happen at the natural time.

This is what I need to do - good advice.

[CaP'N GRuNGe]

Both our kids were induced. It's not like you induce and the kid comes 15 minutes later. At least it wasn't for us. Mother Nature still took her sweet time and spread out the process over the good portion of a couple of days.

 

Just because something is "natural" doesn't mean it is good. I remember that line given by the educator at the hospital talking about epidurals. It's not like everything found in nature is good for you. (poison mushrooms, etc.)

 

I don't see anything wrong at all with induction. As someone else noted above, if your wife is at or beyond her due date that baby could be getting too large and cause added stress and danger to the delivery process for instance.

[Brentastic]

Both our kids were induced. It's not like you induce and the kid comes 15 minutes later. At least it wasn't for us. Mother Nature still took her sweet time and spread out the process over the good portion of a couple of days.

 

Just because something is "natural" doesn't mean it is good. I remember that line given by the educator at the hospital talking about epidurals. It's not like everything found in nature is good for you. (poison mushrooms, etc.)

 

I don't see anything wrong at all with induction. As someone else noted above, if your wife is at or beyond her due date that baby could be getting too large and cause added stress and danger to the delivery process for instance.

Right, in that case I'm perfectly fine with induction. But if everything is ok health-wise, I see no need to mess with nature's pace.

[wiegie]

Finally someone who actually reads all the information in a post. You understand me perfectly and thanks for the response.

uh, the vast majority of us understood what you were saying... we were just disagreeing with you