Scooby Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 came across this term recently--used in psychology to describe manipulative tactics.. for example, when someone says (or even types something-- per se facebook) that is rather rude for lack of a better word, then u ask them about it & why they said that--they say "I have no idea what you're talking about, or you're too sensitive, etc, etc. I have a sibling that does this as long as I can remember and I used to let everything slide. I'm not a confrontational person, but I have recently started respectfully asking her why she said something that I felt was kinda off-kilter. She responds by saying I have no idea what u are talking about, etc etc. So I just wait, then she starts calling me and texting me repeatedly, and then finally says she's down in the dumps and depressed. I also fear a drinking problem as she says types these rude things late at nite when she's drinking. I really makes my stomach in knots as I want a good relationship with her, and we do have a good one for the most part. She will bully me and my family at times, making us thing feel she is mad at us, making demands about what she wants, especially during family holidays. She very easily cuts off ties with someone if they make mistakes (i.e. my hubby). She and her hubby both do this very easily. Plz help and advise, share similar probs if u want. Thanks so much:)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I did some reading about psychopaths and I recall that term being used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 You've never seen the Hitchcock movie.Gaslight? I think you'll find that this term came into the vernacular from there. In the movie, the husband systematically tries to drive his wife crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 My friends and I use to do this when we were younger... it takes some flexibility and a lighter though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 I thought this was about the side effects from natural gas fracking and how you can light your water on fire in Oklahoma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 Your sibling sound like she is manipulative and selfish (and immature.) I don't think I would fear for her safety, she'll be fine as she seemingly places a lot of stock in her self. I would not accommdate her by continuing to feed her demands and ego. If she wants to cut off communication, fine, let her be and allow her to be the one to get back in contact. Make sure however the contact is positive and not one sided toward her needs. She may or may not have a drinking problem. The alcohol may just flip a switch that accentuates her selfish and manipulative side, she may just want to see how far she can push and what types of responses she will get... It feeds her ego and puts her in control. With you saying "you want to have a good realltionship with her" makes me believe that you bend to her whims, which is what she wants. Basically your fedding her ego by accommodating, validating, this behavior. When she acts out like this toward you, do not respond, positively or negatively. When she responds to you kindly or talks with you kindly, then you respond. The way she acts is a two way street, by you responding when she is negative, mean and manipulative only serves to validate her acting more negative, mean and manipulative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 When she acts out like this toward you, do not respond, positively or negatively. When she responds to you kindly or talks with you kindly, then you respond. I can attest that this is very effective with my puppy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 I can attest that this is very effective with my puppy. But, have you mounted him yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 But, have you mounted him yet? Well . .. he IS in Georgia, so that is already assumed to be a yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 But, have you mounted him yet? He keeps asking me for $40. I'm starting to understand why the Humane Society lady seemed so evasive about the dog's history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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