wiegie Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 LoL! Actually, she does. The story came up and it feels good to have all my skeletons out of the closet. For God's sake, Irish, that is not a skeleton. (If you had ordered the magazines yourself it might have been a skeleton, but being the victim of a prank isn't anything that you should consider something bad about yourself. (In fact, the fact that your ex got so freaked out over it, suggests that she was borderline wacko.)) (And, no, I did not send the magazines.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 For God's sake, Irish, that is not a skeleton. (If you had ordered the magazines yourself it might have been a skeleton, but being the victim of a prank isn't anything that you should consider something bad about yourself. (In fact, the fact that your ex got so freaked out over it, suggests that she was borderline wacko.)) (And, no, I did not send the magazines.) LoL! Wieg, I wasn't being real about the skeletons. We actually had a good laugh about it when it came up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmypg Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Congrats & good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Does she know about your unhealthy addiction to travel magazines? I sharted I was laughing so hard at this. I'm cleaned up now. iRash - as long as you are happy, then it's all good in the hood. Just be certain about it. And to echo an earlier post - pics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Congrats Irish!! ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Congrats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hat Trick Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 congrats hope everything continues to turn around fer ya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday Couch Potatoe Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 This is the first thing I thought of also. But, I can also give you the flip side of this story. I was in the process of divorcing my first wife when I met a girl. She was 11 years younger than me and completely different from my first wife. 10 years and 3 kids later, that girl is my wife and I'm happier than I've ever been with someone. So I know from experience it can work. Congrats on your decision. +1 Almost the same situation for me as well... But I also understand those questioning it and all have very valid points as rebound relationships I'm sure fail more than they succeed. Good Luck with the next journey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 i knew right away when i ordered Candy she was the girl for me alittle JB weld and duct tape later i consider myself the luckyest man in the world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditkaless Wonders Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 I am a big fan of revisiting my mistakes. If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Best wishes to you both. Seriously, you seem like a good guy and one who is due the good fortune of a solid love life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) This woman is the reason I left my wife. I have known her for the better part of 7-8 years. She was a co-worker and a friend who I developed feelings for over time as I got to know her more and realized how unhappy I was in my life. whoa, I'm not sure that came out in those threads where you were trashing your family for taking your ex-wife's side, etc. it all makes a little more sense now, and maybe there's more to their side of the story than them just being "religious kooks". I dunno, maybe it's just me, but while I'm all for this quest for fulfillment and self-actualization business -- even if it involves divorce -- to me the equation changes dramatically when there are kids involved. at that point, infidelity (physical or merely emotional, makes little difference) is an offense against the kids as much as it is against the spouse. whatever, water under the bridge at this point. I wish you nothing but luck and happiness going forward, because we all deserve a second chance. Edited August 19, 2012 by Azazello1313 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 leaving your wife and 2 kids for another woman says maybe there is a bit more introspection to be had ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) I left my wife, not my 2 kids. Unfortunately, I just can't take them with me every day. Any way, there's no question there's always more to the story and that more just makes things even uglier when it comes to things my family has done. But, I understand what you guys are saying, I've heard it from them for over a year (2 years ago). My relationship wasn't right for a long time and my family ironically held it together, I met my current GF 7-8 years ago and things developed moreso over the last 3 years. I made a choice to leave because I wanted better for myself and so I told my wife and family how I felt. If I'm a creep for that, a bad man, a poor father, than I'll just have to deal with those things. I don't think I am but the way I've been treated does weigh heavily. That introspection you speak of, goes on daily for me and weekly in therapy. It's too big to even discuss. Thanks for the well wishes regardless Az. I hope for luck and happiness in my 2nd chance as well. However, a lot of pieces are missing and hurt, anger and sadness fill the voids left behind. I work everyday to get past these feelings. Edited August 19, 2012 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolverines Fan Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Congrats Irish. I wish you all the best. Sorry to hear about the family issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I left my wife, not my 2 kids. Unfortunately, I just can't take them with me every day. Any way, there's no question there's always more to the story and that more just makes things even uglier when it comes to things my family has done. But, I understand what you guys are saying, I've heard it from them for over a year (2 years ago). My relationship wasn't right for a long time and my family ironically held it together, I met my current GF 7-8 years ago and things developed moreso over the last 3 years. I made a choice to leave because I wanted better for myself and so I told my wife and family how I felt. If I'm a creep for that, a bad man, a poor father, than I'll just have to deal with those things. I don't think I am but the way I've been treated does weigh heavily. keep with that therapy. i count over 20+ me, myself, my, I etc. in just this paragraph vs. mentioning your kids once at the top and stating how you didn't leave them, you just can't take them with you (that means you left them). i'm sorry, but i can't get on board with all the well wishes. admittedly i don't know the whole story, but from the time you started posting here, it has been all about you, to the point where you created 2 yous when chappy was born. now, you are breaking up your family for what you want and we have been subject to your "woe is me" posts for the last year. did you ever think that instead of treating YOU bad, your family was thinking nothing about nothing other than the welfare of their grandkids? give the whole "what they put me through" gig a rest, will ya ... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday Couch Potatoe Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) keep with that therapy. i count over 20+ me, myself, my, I etc. in just this paragraph vs. mentioning your kids once at the top and stating how you didn't leave them, you just can't take them with you (that means you left them). i'm sorry, but i can't get on board with all the well wishes. admittedly i don't know the whole story, but from the time you started posting here, it has been all about you, to the point where you created 2 yous when chappy was born. now, you are breaking up your family for what you want and we have been subject to your "woe is me" posts for the last year. did you ever think that instead of treating YOU bad, your family was thinking nothing about nothing other than the welfare of their grandkids? give the whole "what they put me through" gig a rest, will ya ... Ya I kinda agree with you here didn't know the whole story till now and felt for him but the leaving the kids part for whatever reason does not set well with me. And it does seem that this is a situation where the old saying there is two sides to every story is definitely affecting fair judgement for this matter by everyone on these boards. I believe we have gotten the old one sided not all the information version for this matter this whole time. I just hope that it has no long term affects on the children as that is the main concern for me in situations such as these. So I agree if I were you I would definitely stop with any of the stories about anything that has happened in your breakup as it sounds like unfortunately most everything was and of your own choice to break apart your marriage and ultimately your family. I do hope you are happy in life as everyone deserves to be but I would strongly suggest you do everything in your power to reconnect with the kids and get them back in your life as much as possible and as soon as you can because every day that passes is another day they form their own opinions on things and you do not want it to be too late. Good Luck and hopefully you make your decisions now and in the future to better the situation for the kids and not just for yourself and your new girlfriend.... Edited August 20, 2012 by Sunday Couch Potatoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramhock Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Nothing v. irish. Just happened to be your thread. Just wanted to ask, does anyone realize what is in the wedding vows? One's happiness becomes two, when they are spouted. Does anyone take them seriously? If you can't handle what's in them, don't f'n say them. Married a long time, like many others, 28 years. Have I ever met or worked with any women, that I could have possibly been happier with? Well, duh, who hasn't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday Couch Potatoe Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Nothing v. irish. Just happened to be your thread. Just wanted to ask, does anyone realize what is in the wedding vows? One's happiness becomes two, when they are spouted. Does anyone take them seriously? If you can't handle what's in them, don't f'n say them. Married a long time, like many others, 28 years. Have I ever met or worked with any women, that I could have possibly been happier with? Well, duh, who hasn't? +1 and well said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Nothing v. irish. Just happened to be your thread. Just wanted to ask, does anyone realize what is in the wedding vows? One's happiness becomes two, when they are spouted. Does anyone take them seriously? If you can't handle what's in them, don't f'n say them. Married a long time, like many others, 28 years. Have I ever met or worked with any women, that I could have possibly been happier with? Well, duh, who hasn't? I'll say this: when I took my first wedding vows, I took them very seriously. And to suggest that people who divorce can't handle their wedding vows is completely elitist and smacks of an attitude that you're so much better than anyone because you managed to find the one that makes you happy the first time. I have to live the rest of my life knowing we couldn't live up to the words we had spoken to each other. But I'm certainly not going to feel guilty about a decision that benefited both me and my ex-wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramhock Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I'll agree that there is certainly some luck involved but some of us try harder than others to keep our word. And this doesn't even begin to address how serious these thoughts become when children are involved. I don't think of myself as elitist, enough here certainly know that. I'm not calling anyone out individually, but a 50% divorce rate tells me that not many hear "and the bad". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday Couch Potatoe Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) I'll say this: when I took my first wedding vows, I took them very seriously. And to suggest that people who divorce can't handle their wedding vows is completely elitist and smacks of an attitude that you're so much better than anyone because you managed to find the one that makes you happy the first time. I have to live the rest of my life knowing we couldn't live up to the words we had spoken to each other. But I'm certainly not going to feel guilty about a decision that benefited both me and my ex-wife. I think his meaning behind his words were a general accusation that many who embark into marriage these days don't take the vows literally and I for one agree with him there. Edited August 20, 2012 by Sunday Couch Potatoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh B Tool Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Having been through a tough divorce myself with kids involved, they always think you are leaving them too. Dosen't make any facts leading up to a divorce right or wrong and certainly shouldn't make you stay in a bad situation, though bad in some eyes are just bumps in the road to others. That said, kids are the ties that bind, so in their eyes you are leaving them. Make sure you tell them you love them multiple times daily and by all means make sure you are "THERE" for them whenever and wherever it may be. I can not enforce this enough, and rhetoric in this case is just that. Your actions will speak volumes. My way of knowing I was actually ready for a relationship past just weekend vacations and knockin boots, was when I woke up alone one morning and was all good with it, almost happy to be alone. Best of luck whatever comes your way, but DO NOT let your kids suffer. Edited August 20, 2012 by Hugh B Tool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 (edited) Having been through a tough divorce myself with kids involved, they always think you are leaving them too. Dosen't make any facts leading up to a divorce right or wrong and certainly shouldn't make you stay in a bad situation, though bad in some eyes are just bumps in the road to others. That said, kids are the ties that bind, so in their eyes you are leaving them. Make sure you tell them you love them multiple times daily and by all means make sure you are "THERE" for them whenever and wherever it may be. I can not enforce this enough, and rhetoric in this case is just that. Your actions will speak volumes. My way of knowing I was actually ready for a relationship past just weekend vacations and knockin boots, was when I woke up alone one morning and was all good with it, almost happy to be alone. Best of luck whatever comes your way, but DO NOT let your kids suffer. Thanks Hugh B. I have done my best to take care of my kids and will continue too. They have gone through some very trying times but I feel that's in the past and we're moving on. Thanks to those who expressed well wishes, those who offered advice and even those who feel I'm scum and wrong. I respect all of you, your opinions and that you took the time to chime in. I'm just glad to be moving on... Edited August 20, 2012 by irish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I left my wife, not my 2 kids. well, you can tell yourself that. I am a child of divorce, but luckily for me it happened when I was just a baby, so my reality as far back as memory goes was always of having "two families". my half sister wasn't as lucky. when my dad split her mom, his second wife, she was 10-12 years old. there are scars on her that will never heal. if you think that's anecdotal and not worth much, check out the statistics. it is not a pretty picture for kids who go through divorce and grow up outside a two-parent family. obviously there are tons of exceptions. but a divorce does a tremendous disservice to kids who live through it, there is just no honest way around that fact. to place self-fulfillment above their interests is selfish IMO, no two ways about it. when you say you left your wife, not your kids, to me that indicates a bit of denial. it is dismissive and defensive rather than owning up to your actions. you are going to have to process all that honestly if you are ever going to move forward effectively. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Will Chappy be the best man ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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