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detlef

Karma is a b!tch

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So, this Saturday, we went to the Natl. Whitewater Center just outside of Charlotte. It's basically a man-made rafting and kayaking course built to train the US team that also has a bunch of other things like zip-lines and ropes courses and climbing walls.

 

We had a fun time in general, but this story isn't about that.

 

They had like 3-4 ropes courses with various levels of difficulty. To do the hardest one, you had to be able to execute a dead-hang pull-up before they'd let you on. They should have made you do a couple, actually. Because there were a number of people who tried it and had no business doing so.

 

This is a story about one of them.

 

So, when I approached it, the line wasn't that long, but it also wasn't really moving. The dude in front of me explained that was because of "that effing kid up there. He's taking forever and holding everyone up. People need to know their limits!"

 

At any rate, he just kept going on and on. Talking about how he had a plane to catch and just crucifying this kid who was, in fairness, taking a long freaking time.

 

Nonetheless, I just kept saying, "Oh well, it does look pretty tough. I'm not going to say anything until I've tried it myself...' "Hey, what are you gonna do. He's just a kid and he's giving it his best." Things like that.

 

But dude just won't let up and, eventually, I just tuned him out.

 

Anyone want to guess who went into complete and total freak-out mode halfway through the course and stopped the whole thing for about 30 minutes until a guide made his way out to him and actually lowered him off the course? This only after he took forever even getting to the part of the course where he lost it?

 

Dude is cussing at the guide telling him how what he's trying to do to bail his ass out is not going to work and such, and the guide is just playing the "Hey bro, you're gonna have to work with me here" card.

 

It was all I could do not to heckle him while it was going on, though the guy behind me, both of us stuck at the same platform were both privy to his pre-course vent and did share a chuckle.

 

A-hole.

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In my defense, I was off my meds.

 

Nope, missed the flight. The TSA detained me when I flipped out on them for taking so goddamn long to pat down the old lady in front of me. Then the a-holes decided to search me to. So I gave them what they wanted, I stripped down right there in the middle of the line and spread my ass cheeks apart for them. Then the guy tazed me, so much for freedom of speech and a number of other constitutional rights that the TSA violated...

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I hear yelling "don't taze me bro" works well. Being naked and yelling it works even better. I saw you get tazed. I never knew balls could fully retract like that.

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Being naked and yelling it works even better.

 

I find this to be sound advice in a surprising number of settings.

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I find this to be sound advice in a surprising number of settings.

 

 

Case in point, I was hammered this weekend and did in my living room. Everyone left my house.

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Threads like this are why I love the Huddle.

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Threads like this are why I love the Huddle.

 

 

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Take your pants off and speak up.

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A couple of summers ago, my g/f and I got an All Day Pass at the U.S. National Whitewater Center . We were out there all day doing all the other activities (i.e. canoeing, whitewater rafting) and the very last thing we did was the adventure course. Anyways, I wasn't going to go on it, cause my g/f said she didn't want to do it, so we were just going to do this small zip line that they had up there cause the regular one was closed.

 

Anyways, when we get up there, she changes her mind and decides she wants to prove she can do the rope course, so I'm like uhm, OK. So she's doing fine and she goes ahead of me. I am doing fine about a quarter through the course and I start walking across the tight rope thingy and all of a sudden the line starts shaking, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my balance. I look back thinking that some jackass must be shaking the rope, but no one is on the line but me. I realize that the rope is moving cause my legs are shaking...uncontrollably. I'm like what the hell is wrong with me. I'm very calm, but I can't stop my legs from shaking. So I say to one of the guides in a very quiet embarrassed tone, "Uhm I'm think I'm having some problems here." He's like, "You're fine." And that's it. He doesn't ask me anything or offer any kind of advice.

 

I look back and see people waiting for me to hurry my ass up, so I nervously move forward. I finally figured out my legs were shaking due to fatigue. I guess I was just out of shape and doing that rope course really requires a lot more muscle concentration.

 

Anyways, my g/f finsiehd without a problem. I got through it, but was somewhat embarassed cause I never had something like that happen to me. I'm glad to hear this story cause my little mishap was nothing compared to this guy's meltdown.

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Yes, balancing on a rope utilize every single muscle in the legs and is very demanding on them at that. Mostly your "stability" muscles which in every day life are quite use to keeping yourself vertical throughout the day.

 

Ummmmm... I do a lot of running/jogging/walking. In my neighborhood we have curbs with 5 inch lips so you can easily walk on them. Every so often I walk just the curbs which of course requires more balance. The next day my lower legs are on fire.

 

Of course I wear a wife beater, no pants or underwear and a ski mask. This way I am not some d bag doing some specialty weird "show off" exercise, but just another crazy man. My neighbors probably just think I am an idiot acting like a kid who does it for fun.

Edited by Grimm74

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Threads like this are why I love the Huddle.

 

+1

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