cliaz Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Being completely serious on a topic about farts. I am so happy they exist. They are so damn entertaining. Think of all the funny things that have happened around farts through your life, farting on someone, leaving a SBDF in an elevator and fart jokes in movies. Playing fart tennis in the summer of 94 was a serious thing between me and 4 of my friends - think about the times in your life when you first start dating someone and you hold in your farts. I bet you just smiled. See, farts are awesome. And they're powerful. Sometimes, you can make people leave a room just because of a fart that comes out of you. Farts are just fun, funny, entertaining, useful and even the word, 'fart' is a fun to say. Plus let us not forget they feel good, too. God Bless farts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I come from a long line of farters and I agree with your post 100% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Funny you should post this. Me and the kids were playing "pull my finger" tonight. They were amazed that "pulling a finger" actually produced a fart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 It's been a little over 8 years and I am still proud of the fart that literally made my wife throw up a bit in her mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 It's been a little over 8 years and I am still proud of the fart that literally made my wife throw up a bit in her mouth. ....and she stayed married to you. Now THAT'S love! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riffraff Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 ...think about the times in your life when you first start dating someone and you hold in your farts I always felt that the sure indicator that the relationship was serious was when you could openly fart in front of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I always felt that the sure indicator that the relationship was serious was when you could openly fart in front of her. truth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westvirginia Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I always felt that the sure indicator that the relationship was serious was when you could openly fart in front of her. Or when she feels comfortable enough to fart in front of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I was on a date with a girl that I really liked. I had to fart really bad, but I had held it for a while so I was about ready to burst. I got out of the car and thought I would release it while I walked around the back of the car on the way to opening the car door for her. I couldn't get that fart out fast enough. It released just after I opened the car door for her. The sound and stench were incredible. I'll never forget that day. Needless to say that was my last date with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delusions of grandeur Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Anyone else here even been at a new girlfriend or acquaintance's place and had to take a dump (thank goodness for sprays and bathroom fans), and tried to ease it out to keep a massive fart from blaring out? It is an entirely futile effort that only results in an even louder pressurized explosion. Not that big of deal, but it is rather emasculating when you walk out to an awkward look over you letting off a loud warning signal, and erasing any doubt of what you were doing in there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby's Hubby Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 My little boy calls farting "spray" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopazz Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Anyone else here even been at a new girlfriend or acquaintance's place and had to take a dump (thank goodness for sprays and bathroom fans), and tried to ease it out to keep a massive fart from blaring out? It is an entirely futile effort that only results in an even louder pressurized explosion. I had such a bad case one night at a hot chicks apt. that I actually forfeited a sure fire layin', excused myself, and went home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 My little boy calls farting "spray" Farting in company is called "crop dusting". I also agree with you Cliaz, I owned the Fart Machine that i heard about through the Howard Stern show that brought about many hysterical moments. One year on a vacation to Florida, I was sitting outside my room at Caribbean Beach Resort and I planted the machine behind a bench and under a decorative garbage cover but where it could still be heard clearly. I waited for couple to sit with their arms around one another and I would press the button. One woman actually slapped her husband after hearing the fart. Great times. I also have a farting app on my phone that can be used in a motion sensor setting, which creates some really funny moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday Couch Potatoe Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Farts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Anyone else here even been at a new girlfriend or acquaintance's place and had to take a dump (thank goodness for sprays and bathroom fans), and tried to ease it out to keep a massive fart from blaring out? It is an entirely futile effort that only results in an even louder pressurized explosion. Not that big of deal, but it is rather emasculating when you walk out to an awkward look over you letting off a loud warning signal, and erasing any doubt of what you were doing in there... I remember one of the first nights I stayed at a girls house, and the next morning had to take a massive dump. Ended up telling her I had to go gas up the car and went to the McDonalds down the street and took care of business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday Couch Potatoe Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I remember one of the first nights I stayed at a girls house, and the next morning had to take a massive dump. Ended up telling her I had to go gas up the car and went to the McDonalds down the street and took care of business. Like a boss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 I've sneezed in a meeting which forced out a loud bang one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I remember taking the Presidential Fitness test (or whatever it was called--doubt they still do it) back in 6th or 7th grade and doing the sit-up part of it. I was in great shape at that age and could pound out sit-ups all day long faster than you could count. Some nerd drew the unlucky straw to hold my feet while I performed the test. I literally farted every single sit-up during the entire test. The whole class was laughing watching this. I was laughing so hard the whole time --- not so much from the farts --- but the nerd that was holding my feet never let go and didn't even flinch once. I can still see his face while I bobbed up and down rhythmically farting and laughing my head off at each one. I don't know what the world record was for consecutive quick farting, but I coulda been a contender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 All day long today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Blowing dirt? :thumbsup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevegrab Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 farted all the way through this thread... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geeteebee Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I can still see his face while I bobbed up and down rhythmically You know how I know your are ghey? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I won a farting contest with Tom Arnold on set of a movie. My flatulism ability in the industry is second to none. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 My flatulism ability in the industry is second to none. You should re-brand yourself. Call yourself: The Fartist Previously Known As Taz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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