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MustOfBeenDrunk

The things my mom taught me

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to really cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21.. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

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Good stuff!

Now, who has used those on their own kids? Grandkids?

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Good stuff!

Now, who has used those on their own kids? Grandkids?

 

Guilty :rolleyes:
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My mom taught me that love is conditional.

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My father used to say when me and my siblings were laughing hard at something

 

"After so much laughing comes crying." By which he meant "stop that stupid laughing before I smack you."

 

Another popular one was "as long as you live under my roof you'll follow my rules". I remember him telling one of my older brothers that, and he replied "well then I'm moving out as soon as I can."

 

No kids myself, but at almost 50 I'm using similar points with my niece/nephews.

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How about you have two choices for dinner

 

Eat what I made or go to bed hungry , my mom loved that one

 

I tried that with my kids but when I got those puppy dog eyes

I would break down every time and let them make a PB&J or Mac & Cheese

 

The one time I did try to stick to my guns my daughter said ok then snuck off to Taco Bell

The next morning when I went to wake her up for school I seen the empty wrappers in her room

I said when in the heck is this !!

She said , come on dad you didn't really want your little girl to go to bed hungry did you ?

I just laughed and told her to get ready for school ( she was 13 at the time )

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How about you have two choices for dinner

 

Eat what I made or go to bed hungry , my mom loved that one

 

I tried that with my kids but when I got those puppy dog eyes

I would break down every time and let them make a PB&J or Mac & Cheese

 

The one time I did try to stick to my guns my daughter said ok then snuck off to Taco Bell

The next morning when I went to wake her up for school I seen the empty wrappers in her room

I said when in the heck is this !!

She said , come on dad you didn't really want your little girl to go to bed hungry did you ?

I just laughed and told her to get ready for school ( she was 13 at the time )

 

Wait, you're just a big softy. ;)

 

We grew up with that "eat what I made" and mom was a great cook. I can see allowing kids to make a PBJ or something like that, but the parents that cook different foods because "they won't eat that" are not helping their kids.

 

Oh well easy for me to say I guess, since I have no kids.

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Wait, you're just a big softy. ;)

 

We grew up with that "eat what I made" and mom was a great cook. I can see allowing kids to make a PBJ or something like that, but the parents that cook different foods because "they won't eat that" are not helping their kids.

 

Oh well easy for me to say I guess, since I have no kids.

 

that you know of :D

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