My Father's Eulogy

[max]

I am also sorry I didnt see this post earlier. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. The eulogy was very well done. From reading the eulogy you dad sounds like a great man.

[Bier Meister]

Menudo,

 

i am sorry for your loss. glad to hear you have had an amazing relationship with him and are coming to peace with this event. the eulogy sounded great.

 

 

:hatsoff: for respect for your father, for the job i know you did at the funeral, and the life he led.

 

Edited June 16, 2005 by Bier Meister

[CaP'N GRuNGe]

Menudo, that's a wonderful eulogy. The line that struck me most was this:

 

My Father knew that family is the most important thing in one’s life and he went to heaven knowing how much we all loved him, and with us in turn knowing how much he loved us.

 

Hold that thought in your heart. Life is a short fleeting moment. If you can have the above, you have truly lived.

[Menudo]

Thanks everybody, I have just been so touched by the kindness of others at a time like this. Quasi-strangers on this board and the Steelers message board have said such wonderful things. I had friends fly into central PA from Chicago, some drove from as far as 4 hours away to my Dad's viewing. Then, just tonight, I found something else out. Our league, which has been in existance for 8 years now, in which my Dad had a team for the first 3 and was the first champ. We had a make-believe trophy, meaning it was only an altered picture, and I jokingly told my buddy "Maybe we can rename the trophy after my Father since he was the first champ." He then responded that I had ruined the surprise and the nine other teams had already agreed to purchase a real trophy and name it the "Terry Lee Attivo Memorial Trophy" to be passed around to the winner each year. It might sound strange to those not involved in this hobby, but that was so touching that I can't even put it into words, and it brough me to tears. My family has received over 30 sets of flowers, tons of food, and in two days my mother has received 120 cards. In a time like this, one realizes how many GREAT and WONDERFUL people there are in this world. Thanks again for giving me this great place to put my thoughts into words. Take care and give your family members a hug tomorrow. God Bless.

[Bier Meister]

[The Irish Doggy]

Sounds like you know some good people.

[Menudo]

Wow, life is crazy. After my Father's passing, two days later his very best friend has fell terminally ill and is on his death bed. God / Life works in mysterious ways. I just found this situation to be amazing, as his friend is also only 59 and was in good health. I'm not sure of the detail of his illness, but it looks like my Dad's best buddy is going to be joining him soon. I know I've said this multiple times, but thanks for the kind words, and tell your family how much you love them every opportunity you get. Take care and God bless.

[Menudo]

It is amazing, here I am on January 30th at 2AM, awake because I had a sad dream about my Dad. This isn't the first time this has happened, I have a bad dream, and then I read the couple of threads from the Huddle, and the e-mails from my buddies, and though they make me sad, they also give me comfort. Dad died in June, and I still have these nights a few times a month. I really don't know when, if ever, I will stop having these nights where I wake up thinking about him in the middle of the night, but thanks again to everyone for your kind words during the time, as I still turn to them for comfort.

 

On a serious note, to the Admins, do these message eventually get deleted and purged ? If so, I should probably copy these two threads because I don't want to lose them.

Edited January 30, 2006 by Menudo

[DMD]

It is amazing, here I am on January 30th at 2AM, awake because I had a sad dream about my Dad.  This isn't the first time this has happened, I have a bad dream, and then I read the couple of threads from the Huddle, and the e-mails from my buddies, and though they make me sad, they also give me comfort.  Dad died in June, and I still have these nights a few times a month.    I really don't know when, if ever, I will stop having these nights where I wake up thinking about him in the middle of the night, but thanks again to everyone for your kind words during the time, as I still turn to them for comfort.

 

On a serious note, to the Admins, do these message eventually get deleted and purged ?  If so, I should probably copy these two threads because I don't want to lose them.

 

1295254[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

We are trying to archive things instead of deleting them but if it is something you want to keep, I highly recommend playing it safe and copying them.

[cheezhed]

Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice and kind words.  I am proud to say that I made it thorugh the Eulogy with flying colors.  I never expected to be so at peace with the situation.  Something has come over me and let me know that my Dad is in a better place.  I was even able to adlib a few things into my Eulogy, which got some laughs.  Thanks again to everyone here at the Huddle, take care and God Bless.

 

842662[/snapback]

 

 

 

awesome, you sound like a very strong individual. Obviously something you inherited from Dad. I hope when the situation comes, I can honor my father as you did. Stay strong and keep your head high. Best of luck to you and you family.

[rajncajn]

I logged on very shortly this morning just to see what was going on. I didn't get to read the eulogy yet, but I will later when I'm less hindered. I can't believe I didn't see your post before, but I know you would do well. I do want to say that I'm really sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you & your family.

[whomper]

It is amazing, here I am on January 30th at 2AM, awake because I had a sad dream about my Dad.  This isn't the first time this has happened, I have a bad dream, and then I read the couple of threads from the Huddle, and the e-mails from my buddies, and though they make me sad, they also give me comfort.   Dad died in June, and I still have these nights a few times a month.    I really don't know when, if ever, I will stop having these nights where I wake up thinking about him in the middle of the night, but thanks again to everyone for your kind words during the time, as I still turn to them for comfort.

 

On a serious note, to the Admins, do these message eventually get deleted and purged ?  If so, I should probably copy these two threads because I don't want to lose them.

 

1295254[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

 

Im not sure what happened in the dream so my post could be off base but I always welcome a dream of a deceased loved one because I see it as that person coming to pay me a visit and I truly believe that. Your dad may be telling you he is OK and he knows how difficult this has been for you . Everyone deals with things differently and there is no timetable as to when you should feel like you should be able to cope with this better. When you feel down you have family , friends and you always have this community here. The huddle is an awesome outlet for something like this. The anonimity may make it easier to speak from your heart . When you originally posted these threads Savage beating made an excellent suggestion that you share some stories about your dad and when you did it not only made you feel better it also let us in on what a great person your dad was. My grandfather was a bigtime giants fan. He died in 1991. My dad who is also a Giants fan kept saying the superbowl is in the bag because of grandpa. Sure enough the Giants won it and my dad basically felt he was watching the game with my grandfather. This sunday sit back and watch the game with your dad because you know hes tuned in and he has the best seats in the house.

Edited January 30, 2006 by whomper

[rocknrobn26]

It is amazing, here I am on January 30th at 2AM, awake because I had a sad dream about my Dad.  This isn't the first time this has happened, I have a bad dream, and then I read the couple of threads from the Huddle, and the e-mails from my buddies, and though they make me sad, they also give me comfort.  Dad died in June, and I still have these nights a few times a month.    I really don't know when, if ever, I will stop having these nights where I wake up thinking about him in the middle of the night, but thanks again to everyone for your kind words during the time, as I still turn to them for comfort.

 

On a serious note, to the Admins, do these message eventually get deleted and purged ?  If so, I should probably copy these two threads because I don't want to lose them.

 

1295254[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

Not sure how I missed this thread, but the eulogy was beautiful.

 

I still dream of my Dad at least 2-3 times per month and we lost him 33 years ago.

[SteelBunz]

This sunday sit back and watch the game with your dad because you know he's tuned in and he has the best seats in the house.

 

1295360[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

So true!

 

Cheer 'em home, Menudo! Your Dad sure will be!

[pork chop express]

Menudo...so very sorry for your loss. You are a better man than I as I couldn't give my Father's eulogy when he passed last year. As a matter of fact, I got choked up reading your. Hang in there and as probably stated before....focus on the good times and the things about your Father that you try to emulate in you and your children.

 

Be there for your family as well. Good luck and God Bless....

[isleseeya]

Sorry for your loss Menudo ..i am sure you made your dad proud through the years and make him just as proud when you deliver the Eulogy

 

May God Bless and keep you all strong

Edited January 30, 2006 by isleseeya

[darin3]

Im not sure what happened in the dream so my post could be off base but I always welcome a dream of a deceased loved one because I see it as that person coming to pay me a visit and I truly believe that. Your dad may be telling you he is OK and he knows how difficult this has been for you . Everyone deals with things differently and there is no timetable as to when you should feel like you should be able to cope with this better. When you feel down you have family , friends and you always have this community here. The huddle is an awesome outlet for something like this. The anonimity may make it easier to speak from your heart . When you originally posted these threads Savage beating made an excellent suggestion that you share some stories about your dad and when you did it not only made you feel better it also let us in on what a great person your dad was. My grandfather was a bigtime giants fan. He died in 1991. My dad who is also a Giants fan kept saying the superbowl is in the bag because of grandpa. Sure enough the Giants won it and my dad basically felt he was watching the game with my grandfather. This sunday sit back and watch the game with your dad because you know hes tuned in and he has the best seats in the house.

1295360[/snapback]

whomper's words of wisdom...

 

Menudo: I think we chatted about this back in the summertime, but have you seen a therapist yet? I highly recommend it. It will help you sort out these feelings. I know it's part of the manly-man thing to keep emotions to ourselves and say stuff like "oh I don't need a therapist", but it sounds like it'd really help.

 

On a related note, Wednesday is the 2-year "anniversary" of my huge car wreck that took the life of my friend and knocked me up real good. I went to my friend's gravesite yesterday and I took it surprisingly well. I know comparing the loss of a friend to the loss of a parent is an apples/oranges thing, but please... keep the faith, try and see a therapist - it will help. God bless.

[Cyclones]

Menudo;

 

My father passed away December 4th, 2004. I was 29 years old at the time and for a couple of months the pain was so constant and unbearable that I wasn't sure I would ever recover. Take time to grieve, by yourself, with other family, with friends, etc. The first day I did not cry was 59 days after his death. Since then, although there is an empty spot there, the pain has subsided and I am much more likely to remember fun times we had and laugh about them. Losing a parent is likely the hardest thing we will ever go through in life (except for losing a child, which I hope never happens to me or anyone else.) Hang in there and don't be afraid to lie down and sob like a baby. I did it often and I think it helped me cope with it. God bless you and your family.

[Hat Trick]

Come on Steelers, win one for Bill Cowher, Jerome Bettis, and of course Terry!

 

 

Hang in there Menudo, he just may be paying you visits to let you know it's okay and to let you know he's thinking of you. Hopefully sometime this week you can have another dream with you and he embracing after a Steelers win!!!!!!!!

[Bengal Mania]

There is no "right" way to deal w/ this stuff, just different ways for different people.

 

My dad died of cancer ~ 11 years ago, when I was 29. Fortunately, he met the girlfriend (who would become Mrs Mania) once before he died. But he died not knowing that I'd found the one for me. That sucks. My wife's dad died ~ 2 years before we met (she was 24). So our three girls have no grandpa's. That sucks even more, and still saddens us to this day.

 

I don't have dreams about my dad, never have. I would LOVE to have one, just to sit in the family room and talk like we always used to. (Or, it's be awesome to "relive" a great memory of something else we did together) Of course, I'd hate to tell him what has happened to the world since he died (he died ~1 month before the Oklahoma City bombing).

 

I don't "mostly" think of him on anniversaries (death, birthday, or holidays) although this may seem strange. I think of him more at really off-the-wall times (hearing a dumb joke he might've told or appreciated - I got his sense of humor; at a moment where I succeed in being a really good dad - I know where I got it; and yes - when the Bengals made the playoffs, I had a "dad" moment)

 

The thing I hope you get to, Menudo (and others) is this: Try to get to the point where you don't focus on the sadness, but rather the happy memories. Because you can't erase the sadness, but you shouldn't let it cause you to "lose" all the things that make you smile.

 

The following joke is really stupid:

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a Pro Shop. The head Pro looks up and says, "What's this, some kind of joke?"

 

Nobody understands why that joke cracks me up (not even my wife), but if I'd told my dad that joke, he'd have bent over laughing. That is a great memory for me. So I'm perfectly content to laugh my a$$ off when I hear it.

Edited January 30, 2006 by Bengal Mania

[Egret]

My father died when I was 15. That was fifteen years ago. It's something that I'll never "get over". He had a long illness that was very hard on all of the family. Along with the grief of him leaving us, was the guilt for being glad that he was out of pain.

 

Now that my son just turned one. I'm sad for the grandfather that my son will never know. I'm sad that my father never got to see me "grow-up".... I'm very thankful that I had the kind of father that I cherish and hold dear fifteen years later.

[wildcat2334]

Menudo-

wow, I am just noticing this thread- Am so sorry- I know exactly how hard it is. I lost my dad this past September and I am still in shock, really. Shows alot of courage to deliver and get thru the eulogy. In my case, I could not do it because like all fathers/sons- we were so close, I just could not even begin to deliver one. I will always wish I could have, but at the time it was unbearable. We were so close, he knows how I feel, and I still have many may chats with him. Such a strange thing b/c it changes you so completely. Even though I am 32, the old saying you really do not become a grown up until you lose your parent (s) is so true. As in your case- the SB will be tough for sure- after 30 years Seattle finally gets in the SB, - guarantee my dad is fired up! So, as much trash as I have talked with you with Pitt/Sea- all in good fun, if Pitt does in fact win SB- will have a nice silver lining. So true- you have to just remember the laughs, good times and great memories b/c you know that is what they would want..... such a cliche- but it rings true to me.

 

That being said.......

Seattle kick the crap out of the over-hyped Steelers-

[Coffeeman]

I really don't know when, if ever, I will stop having these nights where I wake up thinking about him in the middle of the night, but thanks again to everyone for your kind words during the time, as I still turn to them for comfort.

 

 

1295254[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

Believe it or not, it does get better. For me it was about at the one year mark - 9 years ago now. Of course, now I beat myself up over not thinking about him enough - its not every day anymore. That is silly too - he wouldn't want me to have any angst because of him at all. But the B-days, anniversaries and holidays (Halloween and X-mas were his faves, since he was a prankster and liked costumes,) will always be hard....

 

Hang in there...