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Update on my buddy


T_bone65
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A couple of weeks ago I started a thread seeking advice on how to talk to my friend about his drinking problem. I just thought I would give you an update on his status. He and the G/F broke up over the weekend and he has moved out. He now realizes his problem and is willing to face it, IE.....go to Rehab. The only problem is, that he is doing this hoping that it will get him back with the G/F. I have told him that he needs to do it for himself and anything else that happens after that is a bonus. He really thinks that by going through rehab will "win" his G/F back over and they will pick up right where they left off. I have tried over and over again to make him see that needs to do this for himself but it is almost like he doesn't hear me, maybe he doesn't want to hear me :D Needless to say, I am going to support him and stand behind him. Thanks for everyones advice and well wishes from the last thread.

 

Carry on...............

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Glad to hear he has decided to go dry out regardless of his motivation. Maybe the thought of losing his gf will keep him sober in the future. He has taken the 1st step and thats all that matters now. Good luck to him...

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Didn't see the original thread. How long was he with his girlfriend? How old are they. My guess is that his "plan" will work. He will go to rehab. He will get back together with the girlfriend. He will go about 6 months sober. Holiday season will come and either the pressures or parties therein will having him tripping up and falling off the wagon.

 

Hope I am wrong, but that would be my guess.

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Didn't see the original thread. How long was he with his girlfriend? How old are they. My guess is that his "plan" will work. He will go to rehab. He will get back together with the girlfriend. He will go about 6 months sober. Holiday season will come and either the pressures or parties therein will having him tripping up and falling off the wagon.

 

Hope I am wrong, but that would be my guess.

 

 

 

He was with her for a little over 2 years, he is 38 and she is 41. I know exactly what you mean about falling off the wagon, I can only hope that he doesn't. He already has had 3 DUI's in the last 10 years and done some time. He knows that a 4th will guarantee that he do even more time and cost him his job amongst other things. I hope you are wrong as well, but the odds are more then likely against him in this case.

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Hopefully the rehab center is a good one & they will address his reasons for wanting to quit.

 

 

This probably the most important key advice here ... don't have him skimp on the treatment. Get himself into an excellenct 28 day rehab.

 

One of the best in the country is just down the road from one of my clients - The Caron Foundation

 

Good luck to your buddy!

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getting him in is crutial. a good place will see through the smoke screen and help him redefine his goals of treament (move to betterment of self from "winning the girlfriend back") they will help him connect the dots that the rest of us see, but he cannot. this is one of those salient moments i was referring to in your previous thread. i wish him clarity and wellness.

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My brother has been in and out of alcohol rehab a few times. I dont know if there really is an alcoholism "gene" or not. But it is too dam common in my family...

 

 

 

I thought it was pretty much accepted that alcoholism runs in families and does have a genetic component to it, no?

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He was with her for a little over 2 years, he is 38 and she is 41. I know exactly what you mean about falling off the wagon, I can only hope that he doesn't. He already has had 3 DUI's in the last 10 years and done some time. He knows that a 4th will guarantee that he do even more time and cost him his job amongst other things. I hope you are wrong as well, but the odds are more then likely against him in this case.

 

 

He needed to go to rehab a long time ago.

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I thought it was pretty much accepted that alcoholism runs in families and does have a genetic component to it, no?

 

I'm no expert on this, but we've had MD's from the chemical dependency program where I work come to talk to us about this. Although the genetics hasn't been worked out in detail, data from retrospective studies on families has shown that depression and chemical dependency in general (including alcoholism) can have a hereditary component. I don't have a link, but that's what I've been told.

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Good news that he's talking a step in the right direction. :D

 

I'm no expert on this, but we've had MD's from the chemical dependency program where I work come to talk to us about this. Although the genetics hasn't been worked out in detail, data from retrospective studies on families has shown that depression and chemical dependency in general (including alcoholism) can have a hereditary component. I don't have a link, but that's what I've been told.

 

 

Can't it run in families and not be genetic, kinda like abusive behavior: if that's what you grew up with, you're more likely to do it?

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Can't it run in families and not be genetic, kinda like abusive behavior: if that's what you grew up with, you're more likely to do it?

 

 

Yes, but some people are genetically predisposed. All kinds of addictions can be explained that way.

Edited by godtomsatan
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Good news that he's talking a step in the right direction. :D

Can't it run in families and not be genetic, kinda like abusive behavior: if that's what you grew up with, you're more likely to do it?

 

 

Could very well be. My father was an alcoholic. I have a sister who is and a brother who's borderline.

I could have very well ended up that way myself, but I settled down as I aged. I still seem to think

it is genetic though. When I do go out and start getting what I call the "happy feeling", it's hard for me

to quit. I hardly drink at all anymore. This past weekend was a once in a blue moon thing.

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Thanks again for everyone's support, this is where he is going.

 

Father Martin Ashley

 

My wife actually used to work there back in the day and it is also highly recommended in this area. I had a niece go there last summer and she is doing great. I could of very easily been there myself a few years ago, but I chose to change my life for the better. My father was a long time alcoholic and I saw my self going down that same road, having drank fairly heavily for 15 years until I was 35. I acutally started drinking around 12 and I spent most of high school, well high. I still do drink some, but I have to realize my limitations and control it.

 

 

Thanks again for everyones support!!!!!!!

Edited by T_bone65
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Thanks again for everyone's support, this is where he is going.

 

Father Martin Ashley

 

My actually used to work there back in the day and it is also highly recommended in this area. I

had a niece go there last summer and she is doing great. I could of very easily been there myself a few years ago, but I chose to change my life for the better. My father was a long time alcoholic and I saw my self going down that same road, having drank fairly heavily for 15 years until I was 35. I acutally started drinking around 12 and I spent most of high school, well high. I still do drink some, but I have to realize my limitations and control it.

Thanks again for everyones support!!!!!!!

 

Congrats on your reversal, having it in the family isn't easy. My dad passed away from alcoholism/smoking like a chimney, but lucky enough I got my mom's genes with that.

 

Best of luck to you and your friend, and great news he is taking this step.

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