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Murphy's Laws of Warfare


DMD
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In that way that warfare has pararells to business and even every day living, I found some of these pretty entertaining.

 

Murphy's war laws

• A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

• If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

• Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

• If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

• Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

• Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

• If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

• The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

• Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

• There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

• The easy way is always mined.

• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

• Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

• If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

• When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

• Incoming fire has the right of way.

• If the enemy is within range, so are you.

• Tracers work both ways.

• If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.

• Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

• Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

• When in doubt, empty your magazine.

• The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

• Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

• The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

• Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

• A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

• The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.

• Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.

• Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

• The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

• There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

• When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.

• It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.

• There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both.

• You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.

• NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.

• Being shot hurts.

• Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.

• C-4 can make a dull day fun.

• There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose

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