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Good evening. Here is the news for Parrots:

No parrots were involved in an accident on the M-1 today when a Lorry carrying High-octane fuel was in collison with a bollard. That's a BOLLARD and NOT a PARROT. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. The Minister of Technology today met the three Russian leaders to discuss a 4 million pound airliner deal....None of them entered the cage, or swung on the little wooden trapeze or ate any of the nice millet seed. Yum, Yum.


And while thats going on, here's a parliamentary report for Humans:


In the debate, a spokesman accused the goverment of being silly and doing not at all good things. The member accepted this in the spirit of healthy criticism, but denied that he had ever been naughty with a choir boy. Angry shouts of 'What about the Watermelon then' were ordered then by the speaker to be stricken from the record and put into a brown paper bag in the lavvy. Any further interruptions would be cut up and distributed amongst the poor. For the Government, a front-bench spokesman said the Agricultural Tariff WOULD have to be raised. And he fancied a bit. Whats more he argued, this would give a large boost to farmers, him, his friends, and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge. From the back benches there were opposition shouts of 'Postcards for sale' and a healthy cry of 'Who likes a sailor then' from the minister without portfolio. Replying, the Shadow Minister said he could no longer deny the rumors, but he and the Dachsund were very happy. And in any case he argued Rhubarb was cheap, and what was the harm in a sauna bath?


We're not involved.


The Minister of Technology met the three Russian leaders to discuss a 4 million pound airliner deal....none of them were indigenous to Australia, carried their young in pouches, or ate any of those yummy Eucalyptus leaves..Yum Yum. Thats the news for wombats...now Attila the Hun.

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