Clubfoothead Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 If they have health insurance, sometimes rehab or treatment facilities are covered. There is an excellent one here in the Reading, PA area (not far from NJ) called the Caron Foundation and they do have an adolescent program. Supposedly one of the best in the US. I used to party my a$$ off in Reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suppasonic Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Taking him to live with you could be a good idea. However, if he can actually do work with you, give him a salary and charge him rent. Make him do his own laundry. While someone said this earlier as a joke, I think taking him to church could be a potentially good idea, even if you arent a believer yourself. It could teach him a respect for something, and might even change him around. If all else fails, the army really isnt a terrible option. It'll get him a decent education, whip him into shape, and wont cost too much. I dont think counseling would work at his age. However, a rehab facility might, if he was willing. Sober him up. Show him some pictures or testimonials of people on drugs. Ask him why he thinks he is any different. Find him a trade. What does he like to do? Maybe send him to a carpenter school or a metal working school. It will give him a skill should he end out on the streets when hes older. Those were just the ideas that came up in my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down Goes Frazia Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Send him down to big D for the rest of the summer. He'll still test positive for Josh Gordon, but the opiates and coke will be out of his system and his taste in music will probably improve. You know how to reach me if you ever need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Loins of Beef Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I'm a member of Boys Club and my suggestion is have his parents look for a mentor-someone who can be there just for him without any family ties to play with. Have been a part of the Club for over 4 years and seen that this works. Also on a personnal note tried to have a niece stay with me when she was 17 and hooked on coke back in the 80's gave her a job and a place to live as well as a sounding board---didn't work I still saw her as a neice and not a troubled teen. Eventually she took off for the streets for a year before she went back home to her mom. So the advice is find him a positive big brother or sponsor who has been there and done that. Good Luck and my prayers are with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted July 14, 2006 Author Share Posted July 14, 2006 (edited) I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and replies there are 2 schools of thought on how to handle the matter and I appreciate peoples takes on both sides...we have decided to allow my nephew to stay with us for 2 weeks.... however, I have stipulations for my sister and her husband before I will let it happen... the 2 of them have to go to counselling to understand the situation and how to handle it... if my nephew doesnt want to go that is one thing but they have to do their part... the other thing is that I know that in 2 weeks I cant change anything but i just hope and pray that I can get to the root of the problem...at the very least it is a start Edited July 14, 2006 by keggerz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and replies there are 2 schools of thought on how to handle the matter and I appreciate peoples takes on both sides...we have decided to allow my nephew to stay with us for 2 weeks.... however, I have stipulations for my sister and her husband before I will let it happen...the 2 of them have to go to counselling so understand the situation and how to handle it...if my nephew doesnt want to go that is one thing but they have to do their part...the other thing is that I know that in 2 weeks I cant change anything but i just hope and pray that I can get to the root of the problem...at the very least it is a start thats a great start... way to go keg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Yeah, kudos to you keg. Let us know how things turn out. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 unfortuately thats what the state police said last nite...they said this was his free pass the next time they will take him in(they did cuff him) the part that sucks is you want to try and help someone from going to jail or getting a record because that will haunt them for a long time A record can be expunged, his life can't be brought back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 (edited) Sometimes you wait for ever for somebody to hit rock bottom tp realize that they need help. My brother was obviously there for a few years and he never realized it. He's gone now. The kid will need some intervention obviously. He needs as many people as possible to support him but professional help should be a part of the program. Btw, I know why parents age quite a bit before the kids leave the nest now. Edited July 14, 2006 by MikesVikes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and replies there are 2 schools of thought on how to handle the matter and I appreciate peoples takes on both sides...we have decided to allow my nephew to stay with us for 2 weeks.... however, I have stipulations for my sister and her husband before I will let it happen... the 2 of them have to go to counselling to understand the situation and how to handle it... if my nephew doesnt want to go that is one thing but they have to do their part... the other thing is that I know that in 2 weeks I cant change anything but i just hope and pray that I can get to the root of the problem...at the very least it is a start Good luck. Kid's lucky you are his uncle. Hopefully, you will find out that he doesn't have any major substance problems. 17 was about the craziest age I've ever experienced. Hopefully he's just partying and doesn't have substance issues. Life has taught me there's a difference. You've got my numbers. Do not hesitate to call me if you need anything. I don't know $hit about crap but I'm sure it would be beneficial to me to try and help as well if you need me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Sometimes you wait for ever for somebody to hit rock bottom tp realize that they need help. My brother was obviously there for a few years and he never realized it. He's gone now. The kid will need some intervention obviously. Btw, I know why parents age quite a bit before the kids leave the nest now. That's what sucks, even if you get them 302'd , if they don't determine they are mentally disturbed they give them a choice to go to rehab or not. It's insane they don't care if a life is saved, just about the addicts rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Best of luck Keg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and replies there are 2 schools of thought on how to handle the matter and I appreciate peoples takes on both sides...we have decided to allow my nephew to stay with us for 2 weeks.... however, I have stipulations for my sister and her husband before I will let it happen... the 2 of them have to go to counselling to understand the situation and how to handle it... if my nephew doesnt want to go that is one thing but they have to do their part... the other thing is that I know that in 2 weeks I cant change anything but i just hope and pray that I can get to the root of the problem...at the very least it is a start Good luck Keggerz. I agree that the parents need assistance in dealing with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 i hope all goes well keg. you and your nephew are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 On reflection, the most troubling part of your whole account is the opiates in his test. Pot, being aggro to your parents, maybe even cocaine... these things don't mean he's some monster or anything. It's almost common. I worry about freaking out and labeling a kid who's in a little trouble, and convincing him that he's hopeless. But there really is no casual way of ingesting opiates. The least harmful thing I can think of is if he got his hands on a bottle of Oxycodone or something... but popping those isn't cool, as Rush can tell you. Opiates can and will f you up fast. That's not really a party drug. I'd say he's definitely hanging with the wrong crowd if that's the case. Anyway... I'm sure you guys will do the right thing. Talking and listening, with a fair dose of discipline and a watchful eye, and I'm sure he'll turn out ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 That's what sucks, even if you get them 302'd , if they don't determine they are mentally disturbed they give them a choice to go to rehab or not. It's insane they don't care if a life is saved, just about the addicts rights. its the only place left were money goes..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChuckB Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Best of luck Keg, I hope the time with you helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKF Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 As a child of 17 who chose to move into my car and party rather than obey the rules of the house, here is my point of view. 1 ) What is it going to take to get the kid through high school. This is the most important thing in his future. 2 ) How did the discussion escalate to violence? Even though the child may not go to counseling, it may help the parents learn how to prevent this from occuring again. 3 ) A cooling of period is a great idea. Kudos to you both Keg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogohawk Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Good luck keg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 The best of luck Keg. Hope everything goes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackshi17 Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Really believe it's a bad idea to take him into your house. As you have already made your decision I wish you the best of luck and hope it works out for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted July 22, 2006 Author Share Posted July 22, 2006 well my nephew got in around 9am and so far so good....i havent really done anything other then be an uncle to my nephew so far...no prying or anything like that...i want to see what he offers up first....he has been super respectfull and I know he isnt gonna be a problem for us at all...again I appreciate everyones advice and well wishes and will keep you all filled in ... again a very heartfelt thank you to everyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 he has been super respectful Eddie Haskell was super-respectful. Good luck, Kegz--the kid is lucky to have you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 (edited) Hey Keg, I am real sorry I somehow missed this thread yesterday. I don't know if you know this or not, but I am in grad school right now getting my masters with an emphasis on marriage and family therapy. So much advice has been given here so it's hard to really respond. I think it's great that you care so much. If you have any general or specific questions for me on the situation go ahead and PM me and I will try to answer your questions to best of my ability or I will ask my professors (who are all PhDs). Edited July 22, 2006 by TDFFFreak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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