max Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 (edited) Someone sent me this in an email. It is transcripts of some tech support calls. I thought there were some pretty funny ones. Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... =============== Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? =============== Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. =============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ============== = Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. =============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... =============== Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? =============== Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. =============== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. =============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? =============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." =============== And last but not least... Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! Edited July 15, 2006 by max Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 some of those are amazing...... sad tech support calls = anytime i call and the person on the other end has an indian accent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Good stuff, Max! , but I didn't understand the 'Tech support' answers. They weren't in Hindu! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broncosn05 Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? Got a good laugh out of some of those Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 I worked tech support for years. You'd never believe how clueless some people are. I could deal with clueless though... it was clueless and angry that would drive me over the edge. I actually had this conversation with a saleswoman who was out demoing our video product at a customer site. "This stupid unit is broken again." (she says this in front of the customer... mind you, she has never had a problem that was not directly caused by her incompetence) "What's going on?" "There's no display on the video monitor." "Did you hook up the video cables?" "Yes. I'm not stupid." "Ok... look at the video out of our unit. Is there a cable plugged into it?" "Yes! Geez!" "Ok... where is the other end of it running to." "Ummm... ok. It's under the desk." "I think we found the problem." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaP'N GRuNGe Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 On oldie but a goodie: Star Wars Help Desk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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