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OK--who will pitch in to buy this for one of our single brethren?


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Date with Jessica Biel to be auctioned

7/14/2006, 10:16 p.m. ET

The Associated Press


DENVER (AP) — A date with Esquire's "The Sexiest Woman Alive" and "7th Heaven" star Jessica Biel will be up for bid next week to help raise money for a teenager who lost her leg in a prom night limousine accident, Denver newspapers reported this week.


The event dubbed "Mollypalooza" to help Molly Bloom's family with medical expenses is scheduled for Tuesday at the Rock Island Club, organizers told The Denver Post and Rocky Mountain News. The News described the date as a lunch date.


In an audio message posted on the Internet, Biel urges listeners to support the event and she said: "I intend to submit a very special auction item as my contribution to the evening."


"Come on, it's Jessica Biel. What guy wouldn't want to win a date with her?" said Dmitri Lee Natali, 19, a friend and former classmate of Bloom, 18, who lost a leg in the May 13 accident. "My mom happened to be able to contact (Biel's) parents, and they had heard about Molly's tragedy. They said 'yeah, I bet she'll do that."'


Biel, a Boulder native who is on location filming the movie "Next," won't be at the fundraiser Tuesday, Biel said in her message.


Bloom was run over and dragged about 38 feet by a Hummer stretch limousine, police said. Limousine driver Stanley D. Sample, 38, faces a misdemeanor charge of careless driving resulting in serious bodily injury.


Bloom is undergoing rehabilitation at Denver Children's Hospital.




On the Net


Biel's audio message: http://www.dosomethingthatmatters.com/

I'll throw in $20.

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Screw our single friends, I'd buy that for MYSELF.


(nah, not really - I tend to not bother famous people when I see them because I figure I'd be like Chris Farley's talk show - "You remember when you did xxxxxx? That was awesome!")

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Now may be a good time to introduce the idea of a threesome to my wife. :D


GEORGE: Hey, what happened with Sandy. I forgot all about it.

Did you call her?


JERRY: Yeah, I did. In fact I went over there.


GEORGE: So what happened? She throw you out? Eh?


JERRY: No actually, she took it pretty well.


GEORGE: So what happened?


JERRY: She's into it.


GEORGE: Into what?


JERRY: The manage. And not only that. She just called me and said

she talked to the roommate and the roomate's into the manage too.


GEORGE: That's unbelievable.


JERRY: Oh, it's a scene man.


GEORGE: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that

you know me and have access to my dementia?


JERRY: What are you talking about? I'm not goin' to do it.


GEORGE: You're not goin to do it? What do you mean, You're not goin

to do it?


JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.


GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident.


JERRY: Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes

everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to

grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new

bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting.


I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.


... Naw, I'm not ready for it.


GEORGE: If only something like that could happen to me.


JERRY: Oh, shut up you couldn't do it either.


GEORGE: I know.

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