wiegie Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I am a pessimist and have a feeling this is going to turn out bad for all four people involved. (We know for sure that it is going to be bad for at least two people.) You owe it to your current girlfriend to break up with her. Unless she has been cheating on you, she doesn't deserve you. (I would try to be nice and not let her know the reason why (and it would be way out of bounds for you to sleep with her again).) As for your ex's current boyfriend. Man, it would suck to be him. He obviously knew what was going on between the two of you last night and has been hoping that it really wasn't happening. To be nice, your ex should makes sure that he gets to dump your ex for being a cheater instead of her saying that she is breaking up with him. At least let him have something to restore his sense of pride. As for you and your ex--I hope it works out for you. I also hope that if it does work out for the two of you that you won't always wonder who the other person might go home with if they end up going out for the evening without you. Sorry to sound so pessimistic, but this really isn't a good situation. (but again, I actually am hoping that you and your ex really were meant for each-other and that it all works out for you in the end) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 First thing to do IMO is have a sober heart to heart talk with this girl. See how she feels about last night, and what she wants to do from here. It should be a mutual decision from the both of you before you go forward. She may not want to hurt her current boyfriend, and you may not want to hurt yours without needing to. If she want to get back together and give it another try, than split your seperate ways for now and end your current relationships like mature adults. Oh, and hit it one more time before she leaves...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbimm Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 (edited) I am a pessimist and have a feeling this is going to turn out bad for all four people involved. (We know for sure that it is going to be bad for at least two people.) You owe it to your current girlfriend to break up with her. Unless she has been cheating on you, she doesn't deserve you. (I would try to be nice and not let her know the reason why (and it would be way out of bounds for you to sleep with her again).) As for your ex's current boyfriend. Man, it would suck to be him. He obviously knew what was going on between the two of you last night and has been hoping that it really wasn't happening. To be nice, your ex should makes sure that he gets to dump your ex for being a cheater instead of her saying that she is breaking up with him. At least let him have something to restore his sense of pride. As for you and your ex--I hope it works out for you. I also hope that if it does work out for the two of you that you won't always wonder who the other person might go home with if they end up going out for the evening without you. Sorry to sound so pessimistic, but this really isn't a good situation. (but again, I actually am hoping that you and your ex really were meant for each-other and that it all works out for you in the end) My pessimistic side feels the same way about this situation. I see no good coming from this! Trust may always be an issue for this relationship and if you dont have total trust you have nothing. Edited July 16, 2006 by tbimm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 (edited) A few questions: 1) Did you go to the wedding last night in the hopes of seeing your ex? (is it normal for people to attend their boss' stepdaughter's weddings?) 2) Why didn't your ex bring her current boyfriend along with her to the wedding? (this seems odd to me--why in the world wouldn't he have come to the wedding with her?) 3) How did your ex's boyfriend get your cell-phone number? Edited July 16, 2006 by wiegie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 If both of you were able to cheat on your significant others now, how can you ever trust each other not to do it again? Bad premise to base a relationship on, I'd say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Maybe now all you remember about the ex are the good times you had. But there must have been a point where one or both of you decided not to see each other anymore. You need to remember what that was. Btw, it's 8 hours later now. I doubt that she's still sleeping in your bedroom and if you have some fans on, something is probably hitting them right about now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Geez, y'all are some gloomy guses - yeah, if both have a TREND of cheating on S.O.s, it's a red flag. If it was just kismet with an old flame, well, stuff happens; once is an aberration, twice is a trend. As it stands, I DO agree Phat1 needs to give a little more background on the original break-up situation - most times people are incompatible, but some times its no fault of anyone's - lack of maturity, bad timing, inability to handle a long-distance relationship, etc etc. But if both share some deep feelings from long ago, and appear to be not-so-committed to the currents (soon-to-be-exes?) why NOT take a chance on something that could be great. I don't buy into the "soulmate" deal or that you only get one chance at love BUT you don't get many chances at it. If you don't deeply love the current but think there might be something there with this woman, go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Where's Phat? It's time for an update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Geez, y'all are some gloomy guses - yeah, if both have a TREND of cheating on S.O.s, it's a red flag. If it was just kismet with an old flame, well, stuff happens; once is an aberration, twice is a trend. See, I am not a fan of 'getting a free one'. Perhaps I am too old fashioned for this conversation. Neither of these people had the character to do it the right way,by breaking up with thier current people, then giving it a try. Or even the willpower to have a good time at the wedding without playing hide the salami. How either of them could trust the "kismet" won't happen again is beyond me. It certainly sucks to be her boyfriend, but it would also suck mightly to confirm the "trend". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I was cheating on a girlfriend when I met my wife. Stuff happens that way sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I was cheating on a girlfriend when I met my wife. Stuff happens that way sometimes. And she didn't have trust issues with you? Wow, I am living behind the times, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 And she didn't have trust issues with you? Wow, I am living behind the times, I guess. im with you....not to be judging anyone, but we are creatures of habit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 (edited) im with you....not to be judging anyone, but we are creatures of habit. True that, and I am being judgemental. I will refrain. Thanks, you conservative dipstick. ETA: LOL I didn't know they put Re pub litard in the filter...hee hee. Edited July 16, 2006 by cre8tiff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 And she didn't have trust issues with you? Wow, I am living behind the times, I guess. If she didn't trust me, she wouldn't have started dating me. I was upfront about all my *ahem* past indiscretions, and told her that it was done. I agree that if you don't have trust, you might as well forget it - but sometimes you need to go out on a limb. If you want to live in a safe little bubble, that's fine, but I don't call that much of a life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 (edited) im with you....not to be judging anyone, but we are creatures of habit. Quitting putting your dick in someone you aren't dating/married to is probably less difficult than quitting smoking or drinking. EDIT: Well, as long as they don't quit putting out. Edited July 16, 2006 by Chavez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 True that, and I am being judgemental. I will refrain. Thanks, you conservative dipstick. ETA: LOL I didn't know they put Re pub litard in the filter...hee hee. what the...... Quitting putting your dick in someone you aren't dating/married to is probably less difficult than quitting smoking or drinking. very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBalla Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 My advice...beat gutz again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seattle LawDawg Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Where are we on the pics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Pimp Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Why when she was asleep in your bedroom, did you find a computer and ask huddlers what to do? You should've stayed in there and hit it all night and then asked for advice. At least get a bunch of times in before you "think things through". Time for an update Phat1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I'll echo what has been posted. Only you know what is truly right for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avernus Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 My advice...beat gutz again. and eat livers too... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 A few questions: 1) Did you go to the wedding last night in the hopes of seeing your ex? (is it normal for people to attend their boss' stepdaughter's weddings?) 2) Why didn't your ex bring her current boyfriend along with her to the wedding? (this seems odd to me--why in the world wouldn't he have come to the wedding with her?) 3) How did your ex's boyfriend get your cell-phone number? First of all, SOBER UP! Weigie has a good point in why your ex didn't bring her current boyfriend. Why didn't you bring your current girlfriend? Seems to me that if your currents meant anything to you, they would have been at the wedding alongside of you. After you both sober up, you need to talk to see if you still have strong feelings for each other. Then, as mentioned in other posts, figure out why you broke up in the first place. You are both 7 years more mature so the original breakup could have been over something silly. If you both still love each other, then you should be able to work it out. Love conquers all. P.S.- Good luck explaining things to the current. And if this was nothing but a one night stand, good for you. You got to tap it one last time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 i think that there should be some sort of penalty for starting a story like this and not having a timely update......there needs to be rules here!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aqualung Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 i think that there should be some sort of penalty for starting a story like this and not having a timely update......there needs to be rules here!!! Unless the boyfriend caught up to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Unless the boyfriend caught up to him. very good point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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