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Long Distance Relationship


gbpfan1231
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Asking for opinions. Here is my situation.

 

Moved to LA for a 4 month work assignment. Did not intend on meeting someone here but did at a party.

 

Me 36 She 38

Me never married She divorced once

 

She is good looking, thin and we get along great and we both knew I was leaving after 4 months so we hung out a lot as just friends and now it has gone further and it will be an uncomfortable situation when I leave in about a month.

 

She loves California and would probably not leave. I have my job, my close family, and my close friends back in Wisconsin.

 

What are your thoughts?

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Sounds like a very deep relationship...

 

 

I was just trying to make a quick post:

 

She is:

 

Fun

Can handle hanging with the dudes

smart

has a decent job

faithful (from what I can tell in only 2 months)

cocky in a good way

has good family

does not smoke

great in the sack

likes sports

likes good music (which also means she hates country)

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I was just trying to make a quick post:

 

She is:

 

Fun

Can handle hanging with the dudes

smart

has a decent job

faithful (from what I can tell in only 2 months)

cocky in a good way

has good family

does not smoke

great in the sack

likes sports

likes good music (which also means she hates country)

 

 

Much better.

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Something will have to give.Myself,I would never move unless the long term commitment(read the m word)had been discussed.

 

The bottom line to me at least:Unless one of you makes the move without any reservations,if it isn't a storybook romance the person making the move will ultimately end up with feelings of resentment towards the other.

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Some situation for me at one point in my life, I was in maryland and she was in England. It worked for about 18 months but it sucked.

 

In the end, LDR never work. If you move back home and after a time period still keep in contact with her then you have to make a choice.

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tough one, you both are old enough to make it work, but at the same time may be too stubborn/entrenched in Cal/Wisky to be up for a major move. Sh1t 4 months?? give it some time- yall will figure it out.

 

And yeah, if you can import some nice Cali ass into Wisconsion do it!, you kidding me?

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Asking for opinions. Here is my situation.

 

Moved to LA for a 4 month work assignment. Did not intend on meeting someone here but did at a party.

 

Me 36 She 38

Me never married She divorced once

 

She is good looking, thin and we get along great and we both knew I was leaving after 4 months so we hung out a lot as just friends and now it has gone further and it will be an uncomfortable situation when I leave in about a month.

 

She loves California and would probably not leave. I have my job, my close family, and my close friends back in Wisconsin.

 

What are your thoughts?

 

 

 

I live in LA and run across women like this occasionally. I'll qualify this completely by saying you and I are the same age.

 

Part of the sparks that came from here might be in part because she knew there was a finite time limit as to your availability. LA is quite simply one of the WORST dating pools in the country, in part because of 'the business' inflicing collateral emotioanl damage on both sexes: a good chunk of dudes run around out here, date a girl then trade up for the next young piece of ass that comes along. This severely messes with the girl's head who he just dumped. Her defenses go up for the next relationship she gets in. A good chunk of women run around out here and date a guy for his fat wallet and then trades up cuz she's a hot piece and goes for a fatter wallet when available. This messes with the guy's head who she just dumped. His defenses go up for the next relationship he gets in. This has the effect on 2 really normal people dating with these defenses of looking for a sign that he or she is about to get dumped meaning they might react proactively. By 'good chunk' I'm talking anywhere from 15-30% of the people out here. The dating scene is a shambles.

 

I know, because this has been my problem and some of my friends out here. Keep in mind that in most parts of the country most people are married by the time they're 30. Not so in LA. It's really quite complex, as all relationships are, but there is a certain breed out here that screws it up for all. So, the question is has she been messed with out here in a way similar to how I just described? Unless she is truly sick of the scene out here, the chances of getting her to move to Wisconsin are probably slim in part due to the addictive weather out here. That might be an unfair thing to say about her, but if you've mentioned a move for her to Wisconsin if I were a betting man (and I've been known to be) you wouldn't get more than 6 sentences before the word 'weather' gets used by her.

 

Beyond that, I don't see a 3000+ mile relationship working, but if there is SINCERE effort on both parts, then yes you can make it work.

 

I know this sounds like a terribly broad generalization, but if you run this post by her I'd be willing to bet she'd agree with my described scenario of the train wreck dating scene out here. If she's sick of it she might be looking to settle down. But at age 38 she may have decided that after trying it once she's in no hurry to do so again, especially if she doesn't want kids and wants to stay focused on her career out here.

 

It sound like you might fit in alright out here, since you pointed out her weight as the second or 3rd thing or 4th thing in her description. :D

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I live in LA and run across women like this occasionally. I'll qualify this completely by saying you and I are the same age.

 

Part of the sparks that came from here might be in part because she knew there was a finite time limit as to your availability. LA is quite simply one of the WORST dating pools in the country, in part because of 'the business' inflicing collateral emotioanl damage on both sexes: a good chunk of dudes run around out here, date a girl then trade up for the next young piece of ass that comes along. This severely messes with the girl's head who he just dumped. Her defenses go up for the next relationship she gets in. A good chunk of women run around out here and date a guy for his fat wallet and then trades up cuz she's a hot piece and goes for a fatter wallet when available. This messes with the guy's head who she just dumped. His defenses go up for the next relationship he gets in. This has the effect on 2 really normal people dating with these defenses of looking for a sign that he or she is about to get dumped meaning they might react proactively. By 'good chunk' I'm talking anywhere from 15-30% of the people out here. The dating scene is a shambles.

 

I know, because this has been my problem and some of my friends out here. Keep in mind that in most parts of the country most people are married by the time they're 30. Not so in LA. It's really quite complex, as all relationships are, but there is a certain breed out here that screws it up for all. So, the question is has she been messed with out here in a way similar to how I just described? Unless she is truly sick of the scene out here, the chances of getting her to move to Wisconsin are probably slim in part due to the addictive weather out here. That might be an unfair thing to say about her, but if you've mentioned a move for her to Wisconsin if I were a betting man (and I've been known to be) you wouldn't get more than 6 sentences before the word 'weather' gets used by her.

 

Beyond that, I don't see a 3000+ mile relationship working, but if there is SINCERE effort on both parts, then yes you can make it work.

 

I know this sounds like a terribly broad generalization, but if you run this post by her I'd be willing to bet she'd agree with my described scenario of the train wreck dating scene out here. If she's sick of it she might be looking to settle down. But at age 38 she may have decided that after trying it once she's in no hurry to do so again, especially if she doesn't want kids and wants to stay focused on her career out here.

 

It sound like you might fit in alright out here, since you pointed out her weight as the second or 3rd thing or 4th thing in her description. :D

 

 

 

so it sounds like if youre really rich and have an ugly girlfriend, youre ok...... :D

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I live in LA and run across women like this occasionally. I'll qualify this completely by saying you and I are the same age.

 

Part of the sparks that came from here might be in part because she knew there was a finite time limit as to your availability. LA is quite simply one of the WORST dating pools in the country, in part because of 'the business' inflicing collateral emotioanl damage on both sexes: a good chunk of dudes run around out here, date a girl then trade up for the next young piece of ass that comes along. This severely messes with the girl's head who he just dumped. Her defenses go up for the next relationship she gets in. A good chunk of women run around out here and date a guy for his fat wallet and then trades up cuz she's a hot piece and goes for a fatter wallet when available. This messes with the guy's head who she just dumped. His defenses go up for the next relationship he gets in. This has the effect on 2 really normal people dating with these defenses of looking for a sign that he or she is about to get dumped meaning they might react proactively. By 'good chunk' I'm talking anywhere from 15-30% of the people out here. The dating scene is a shambles.

 

I know, because this has been my problem and some of my friends out here. Keep in mind that in most parts of the country most people are married by the time they're 30. Not so in LA. It's really quite complex, as all relationships are, but there is a certain breed out here that screws it up for all. So, the question is has she been messed with out here in a way similar to how I just described? Unless she is truly sick of the scene out here, the chances of getting her to move to Wisconsin are probably slim in part due to the addictive weather out here. That might be an unfair thing to say about her, but if you've mentioned a move for her to Wisconsin if I were a betting man (and I've been known to be) you wouldn't get more than 6 sentences before the word 'weather' gets used by her.

 

Beyond that, I don't see a 3000+ mile relationship working, but if there is SINCERE effort on both parts, then yes you can make it work.

 

I know this sounds like a terribly broad generalization, but if you run this post by her I'd be willing to bet she'd agree with my described scenario of the train wreck dating scene out here. If she's sick of it she might be looking to settle down. But at age 38 she may have decided that after trying it once she's in no hurry to do so again, especially if she doesn't want kids and wants to stay focused on her career out here.

 

It sound like you might fit in alright out here, since you pointed out her weight as the second or 3rd thing or 4th thing in her description. :D

 

 

I do like it here and think I could "fit in". The issue I have is that I am very close to family and friends and to move out here only being in a "relationship" for 3-4 months is not the smartest idea (my opinion).

 

One other issue is that this job assignment is temporary so when it is over my job moves back to Wisconsin with or without me. Also not sure moving to Cali without a job is real smart.

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so it sounds like if youre really rich and have an ugly girlfriend, youre ok...... :D

 

 

 

I'd say there are probably a higher number of "political/career" motivated marriages out here. I was dating a girl last summer (who had done some acting) while trying to produce a low budget film. We had an actress bail and the director replaced her. The girl I was dating made kind of a snide joke along the lines of "why am I dating you if you won't try to get me the part?" which was not at all funny, and I made clear to her. We lasted about 3 more months. Go figure.

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I do like it here and think I could "fit in". The issue I have is that I am very close to family and friends and to move out here only being in a "relationship" for 3-4 months is not the smartest idea (my opinion).

 

One other issue is that this job assignment is temporary so when it is over my job moves back to Wisconsin with or without me. Also not sure moving to Cali without a job is real smart.

 

 

 

The gist of my post is this: it's a far more dangerous mine field out here than you realize. So tread extra carefully.

 

Occasionally I'll speak at a "Hollywood Seminar" for U of Texas grads out here as we try to relate how the business works to the youngins'. A buddy of mine who also does the same joked on night "the best piece of advice we could probably give them is for them to get married BEFORE moving to LA." It's funny funny, but also funny sad.

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