Long Distance Relationship

[T_bone65]

has anybody asked how big her rack is yet? gonna need pics for confirmation.

 

 

 

Very good info here

[Yukon Cornelius]

Much better.

 

 

do not bring here to odins country... we dont need no more stinken kalifreaks moven here

[AtomicCEO]

For what it's worth, my wife and I survived 10 months of a long distance relationship. It was ok.

[TDFFFreak]

We don't care about looks for your relationship. Do you really like her? If you do, this can work short term, but someone will have to move sooner rather then later. If you don't think you are willing to move and she won't consider it, end it now and save yourself some heartache later down the line.

Edited August 31, 2006 by TDFFFreak

[The Holy Roller]

Compromise. Think Utah.

[wiegie]

My wife and I were long-distance from when we met until we got married 4 years later. We ended up moving to a new city that neither of us were from--and that is something that I highly recommend.

[max]

It will only work if your peeener can reach from Wisconsin to Cali.

 

 

 

Seriously though, any relationship can work if it is really what BOTH of you want regardless of location early on. Eventually a decision will need to be made if the relationship is going to become a long term one.

Edited September 1, 2006 by max

[Azazello1313]

You don't have to change your life. Just keep talking on the phone, emailing... keep in touch. Maybe situations will change or maybe they won't. Keep it greasy and let it happen if it's supposed to.

 

 

this is the correct answer. it depends entirely on the people and the relationship invovled. best to really figure out what each of you want, and that really only happens after you're apart.

 

for the record, i am a successful-long-distance-relationship veteran.

[jaxfactor]

Whoa there fella! I've been in 2 long distance relationships and am 0 for 2. The first one was with

my buddy's wife's sister. We had met briefly years previously(no relationship, just hello). She ended upgetting married and divorced. Well, being that she lived in my home town and my buddy's wife was her sister, we were bound to meet again. I wasn't even thinking about it. My buddy's wife invited her over to the house one evening when I was in town. One thing led to another and we were(or at least we thought we were) hooked on each other. We talked all the time. No cell phones then and my phone bill sucked. And, of course, because she lived in Pittsburgh, my home town, I made it up there at least twice a year. I talked of how I missed my home town and how it wouldn't be a bad idea to move back home. She insisted I do just that. So, while waiting for the transfer, the phone all of a sudden stopped ringing. She wouldn't answer my calls. So I made one more trip back home to see her face to face. It was then that she told me she had met someone else. Yeah, it broke my heart. I wasn't very happy with her and asked her what would have happened if I'd have transferred before she told me. It was a cool meeting though. She ended up marrying some ugly rich snob, but as long a the money makes her happy.... The other one was basically me ending it with the girl. Same location scenario. I started seeing someone else, who I am still with to this day.

So, as much as you both might try, bottom line is eventually either you or her will meet someone else and the phone will stop ringing. It happened to me. It has happened to other people I know. I'm just trying to save you the heart ache dude. 4 months is not a long time. Doesn't ound like either one of you will really consider a move, so the phone will stop ringing eventually. Trust me. In the mean time, have great sex, good times, and if you ever go back there and she's still in contact with you, maybe things will change.

Just don't count on it is all I'm saying. Don't force it either. If it works, it works. But more than likely it won't.

Just don't be shocked and surprised. Good luck.

 

Well, my book is over.

[Retrograde assault]

By the time I type this you're probably already pw.

[Seattle LawDawg]

I didn't read anything you typed.

 

No.

 

You end up cheating on each other. Well, I did.

 

 

You limited that to long distance relationships?

[Seattle LawDawg]

You limited that to long distance relationships?

 

 

My wife and I dated during my senior year in college. I left to go to Law School across country. A year later she moved up to Seattle. It was fine.

 

This year I moved down to Portland 6 months before she was able to come. While I did go back up to Seattle many weekends, I think 6 months apart after 5 years of marriage is just about right.

[Meat Face]

Asking for opinions. Here is my situation.

 

Moved to LA for a 4 month work assignment. Did not intend on meeting someone here but did at a party.

 

Me 36 She 38

Me never married She divorced once

 

She is good looking, thin and we get along great and we both knew I was leaving after 4 months so we hung out a lot as just friends and now it has gone further and it will be an uncomfortable situation when I leave in about a month.

 

She loves California and would probably not leave. I have my job, my close family, and my close friends back in Wisconsin.

 

What are your thoughts?

 

 

 

if you're not engaged, then it won't work. Might not work anyway. Long distance relationships rarely work, but it depends on how long you will be apart. If it will be a year apart then forget about it.

[Chavez]

cali to wisco is kinda far....might be tough. my wife and i had a ld relationship but it was only from chicago to detroit area....so got to see each other most every weekend. talking on the phone gets old fast....believe me!!

 

Eh, depends - if he's from the Milwaukee/SE Wisconsin area or one of the Minneapolis 'burbs out west, flights to and from Cali are pretty easy to come by (at least LA, SD, or SF); if he's got driving to do on one end or the other, then it becomes a major hassle.

[Chavez]

Other than that, I agree with the sentiment that long-distance is OK FOR A SHORT TIME - say a year at the outside. Beyond that, someone has to sh*t or get off the pot.

 

But there's no reason NOT to give it a shot for that time period and see what, if anything, develops.

[TonyMantana]

Im 31 and was married 3 years ago. My wife lived in NY and I in CO while we were dating for 3 years. We broke up 4x during this time, the last period lasting almost a year. Eventually we got married when she got sick of NY and moved to Denver. At several point in time this relationship was all but over. Its really tought to say if they can work.

 

Before sweating the whole thing just see if it can work, 4 months isn't long. Why end it without trying but don't expect too much.

 

"L.A. is fine but it aint home. New York's home but it aint fine oh nooo, I Am I said!"

-Neil Diamond

Edited September 1, 2006 by TonyMantana

[Donutrun Jellies]

Me 36 She 38

She divorced once

She is good looking, thin

we get along great

both knew I was leaving after 4 months so we hung out a lot as just friends

She loves California and would probably not leave.

I have my job, my close family, and my close friends back in Wisconsin.

 

Your ages are a plus to it working as neither one will be in the competitive dating pool long, if you even still are ...

 

Her divorce is a negative if it was for a reason which would undermine a LDR: because she got bored or lonely; met someone else during the marriage; or was cheated on and is now suspicious ...

 

Good looking and thin are nice, but thin is temporary and when that goes away, typically so does good looking ...

 

Getting along is great, but that's not love.

 

She loves California and would probably not leave -- that says it. You rank behind California and if you are not #1 to your significant other, your not their significant other.

 

If you're thinking of your job, relatives, and close friends ahead of her, see the point above.

 

CONCLUSION: Based on the analysis, I'd say your best course of action is to stay pleasant with her, cry when you leave her -- and set yourself up to fly back and bang her on weekends ... at least until the thin goes away ... and if more was meant to be, it'll happen

[spain]

I wouldnt move to California for a woman even if she had 3 teets. That is NOT a good place to live, other than for the aforementioned weather. And if you are thinking about having kids, you certainly dont want them to be raised out there with those fruitcakes with their absurd mores. Tell her that you would like to continue the relationship, but tell her there is no way you will ever move to California because although its a nice place to visit, you want to instill different values in your kids than the one's, or lack thereof, that are prevalent out there. She will understand your point of view. Then once you begin to visit each other and talk on the phone, she will either decide you are right and you are worth it; or she will crave the shallow Cali lifestyle. If she chooses the latter, trust me, you are better off without her.

[untateve]

Many comments noting that long distance relationships usually don't work. To this I add, most relationships don't work. Divorce hovers around 50% and think of how many women (or men) you've dated and dumped (or been dumped).

[dmarc117]

Many comments noting that long distance relationships usually don't work. To this I add, most relationships don't work. Divorce hovers around 50% and think of how many women (or men) you've dated and dumped (or been dumped).

 

 

 

50% is half, not 'most'...... and a relationship is not meant to be forever unless you do end up marrying the other person....

[twiley]

You limited that to long distance relationships?

 

[untateve]

50% is half, not 'most'...... and a relationship is not meant to be forever unless you do end up marrying the other person....

 

 

 

I want you to follow the math closely. Marriages are but one relationship. 50% of those end in divorce. I won't speak for you, but most of us were involved in several to many relationships before we got married and these all ended. Now if you add up all the divorces and all the failed monogamous relationships, you get "most." I was almost insulted that you thought I believed 50% was 'most.'

 

I disagree with your latter relationship. I will venture to say that many, if not most of us were involved in other relationships prior to our marriages that we thought would be forever. However, for a multitude of reasons, these relationships also failed.

[Donutrun Jellies]

I will venture to say that many, if not most of us were involved in other relationships prior to our marriages that we thought would be forever. However, for a multitude of reasons, these relationships also failed.

 

Susan Lucci ...

 

Mrs. Jelly ...

[TDFFFreak]

I live in LA and run across women like this occasionally. I'll qualify this completely by saying you and I are the same age.

 

Part of the sparks that came from here might be in part because she knew there was a finite time limit as to your availability. LA is quite simply one of the WORST dating pools in the country, in part because of 'the business' inflicing collateral emotioanl damage on both sexes: a good chunk of dudes run around out here, date a girl then trade up for the next young piece of ass that comes along. This severely messes with the girl's head who he just dumped. Her defenses go up for the next relationship she gets in. A good chunk of women run around out here and date a guy for his fat wallet and then trades up cuz she's a hot piece and goes for a fatter wallet when available. This messes with the guy's head who she just dumped. His defenses go up for the next relationship he gets in. This has the effect on 2 really normal people dating with these defenses of looking for a sign that he or she is about to get dumped meaning they might react proactively. By 'good chunk' I'm talking anywhere from 15-30% of the people out here. The dating scene is a shambles.

 

I know, because this has been my problem and some of my friends out here. Keep in mind that in most parts of the country most people are married by the time they're 30. Not so in LA. It's really quite complex, as all relationships are, but there is a certain breed out here that screws it up for all. So, the question is has she been messed with out here in a way similar to how I just described? Unless she is truly sick of the scene out here, the chances of getting her to move to Wisconsin are probably slim in part due to the addictive weather out here. That might be an unfair thing to say about her, but if you've mentioned a move for her to Wisconsin if I were a betting man (and I've been known to be) you wouldn't get more than 6 sentences before the word 'weather' gets used by her.

 

Beyond that, I don't see a 3000+ mile relationship working, but if there is SINCERE effort on both parts, then yes you can make it work.

 

I know this sounds like a terribly broad generalization, but if you run this post by her I'd be willing to bet she'd agree with my described scenario of the train wreck dating scene out here. If she's sick of it she might be looking to settle down. But at age 38 she may have decided that after trying it once she's in no hurry to do so again, especially if she doesn't want kids and wants to stay focused on her career out here.

 

It sound like you might fit in alright out here, since you pointed out her weight as the second or 3rd thing or 4th thing in her description.

 

Classic. It may be funny just to me living out here in LA as well. A lot of good info here too.

Edited September 2, 2006 by TDFFFreak