mywifehatesffl Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 All in all, I'd say I'm pretty darn fortunate. I have three beautiful kids - a 7-year-old daughter, a 4-year-old son and a 16 month old son. My wife, a stay-at-home mom, and I have been (and still are) happily married after 12 years. Good job. Nice house. Nice neighborhood. Healthy. A wife who may not exactly enjoy football but sure tolerates my hobby. See. Not much to complain about. All of a sudden.....boom..... about 3 months ago and for the first time in our lives together, my wife lost her marbles a bit. She has great days but some really bad days as well. It really comes down to a feeling of being overwhelmed and unable to cope with sadness and misery in the world. She fears awful things happening to her, to me or to our kids. I know we all have our fears but they tend to be fleeting thoughts of misery and then on with the rest of our lives. All of a sudden, not my wife. Yes, she's been to the doc. Blood work all good. Yoga (I'm not a big believer but whatever works) seems to help a bit. No drugs - yet. The doc really thinks it's hormonal and related to being an overwhelmed mom, which he swears is not out of the norm. Maybe a touch of post partem depression (which she had none of after kid 1 and kid 2). Who the heck knows. I'm just wondering if this story rings a bell with any of you guys. My wife is a great lady and a fantastic mother. It would be nice to know that this too shall pass - as I'm told it will. Share your thoughts if you've got a similar experience. Thanks guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 go get the crazy pills asap, they work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABearWithFurniture Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 She needs to have her Thyroid checked... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broncosn05 Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 go get the crazy pills asap, they work Jeezus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 (edited) I know a little bit about this stuff so what I can tell you at this point: gently approach the idea of her talking to a therapist. Someone to talk to and that professional may be able to better diagnose what is going on in her head (if they feel it's neccessary for a follow up with a medical doctor, a good therapist will ask their clients to do so). If it has come to a point where it's that noticable after many years of good mental health, I highly recommend a "mental check up". That's my 2 cents... Probably nothing wrong with her per say, it could be a phase, but always better safe than sorry. Edited July 14, 2007 by TDFFFreak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_gop_liars Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 That blond with John Elway jersey is staring at you..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 A thyroid test is a good thought, but I'm assuming by "blood work all good" that her thyroid's been checked. Thirteen months out is pretty late to develop post-partum depression. The best approach is counseling sessions with a psychotherapist and the possible addition of medication (Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft to name a few). The medications work, and close follow-up by someone in the psychology field is essential. Exercise, proper diet, and periodic relief from child-care duties are also important. If you need answers to any other questions, just send me a PM. I deal with this problem alot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywifehatesffl Posted July 14, 2007 Author Share Posted July 14, 2007 All joking aside, you guys aren't the only ones to say go for the drugs. As for her thyroid, all checked out. That was the first thing her doc wanted to focus on. I really appreciate the insight, Chargerz. I know based on your posts that you've got insight others might not. Thanks for taking the time to add a few thoughts. I also took your advice and gave her the day off. I've got the three kids today and she went out for a cup of coffee with a girlfriend at Starbucks, did a little shopping and came home in a great mood. My goal right now is to be supportive and she's trying as hard as possible just to get back to "normal." I am happy to say at least she recognizes there's an issue and is willing to do what it takes to just get back to dealing with the usual craziness around here. The good news is that she's had a few good days in a row. I'll keep my eye on things and look forward to the old "this too shall pass." Since I've got the kids today, I gotta run. It's back to Chutes and Ladders, Wiggles and a push on the swing set! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geeteebee Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 I am often surprised that my wife hasn't gone through the same thing. With 3 little boys and a 4th on the way, i don't know how she manages to keep her wits about her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 I am often surprised that my wife hasn't gone through the same thing. With 3 little boys and a 4th on the way, i don't know how she manages to keep her wits about her. Moms love their kids, but they all need breaks from the constant stress of raising them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Chargerz is by far your best resource here. At this point, encourage her to talk to a professional. You are doing the right thing as far as being supportive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 In addition to Chargerz, Untateve and Bier could likely also add valuable advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 I know this isnt the cure all but why dont you hook her up with a day at the spa ..She will feel great and also see your support (not that she hasnt before) She will really enjoy it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 In addition to Chargerz, Untateve and Bier could likely also add valuable advice. Bier? Are chefs also therapists or did Bier's wife go nuts and I just didn't know about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 (edited) Bier? Are chefs also therapists or did Bier's wife go nuts and I just didn't know about it? I believe Bier was a liscensed therapist before he became a chef.. Whompers embellishment: He tried to combine the 2 for a while and opened a restaurant called Couch Potatoes..But it failed miserably Edited July 15, 2007 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Bier? Are chefs also therapists or did Bier's wife go nuts and I just didn't know about it? Bier used to be a therapist before he got burnt out on it and decided to change professions. (It would be my guess that he was a good one and I'd trust his opinion (although I'm not sure if he dealt with these sort of cases).) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 I believe Bier was a liscensed therapist before he became a chef.. correct Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampnuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Bier's the man then! Talk about a 180 in two distinct professions. Pretty impressive work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julio Likes Pudding Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Wow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julio Likes Pudding Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 In addition to Chargerz, Untateve and Bier could likely also add valuable advice. I must disagree. Bier wife is lovely and she is very understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 (edited) I believe Bier was a liscensed therapist before he became a chef..Whompers embellishment: He tried to combine the 2 for a while and opened a restaurant called Couch Potatoes..But it failed miserably pre-licensed. was a test away from licensure. already made the decision to change careers before taking that last one. Bier used to be a therapist before he got burnt out on it and decided to change professions. (It would be my guess that he was a good one and I'd trust his opinion (although I'm not sure if he dealt with these sort of cases).) i liked assessment.... enjoyed working with couples and adolescents...... was strong with mood disorders. burnt out because i went the corporate route (stopped seeing clients). it's been a while since i've even browsed through any of my psych lit. i don't know what those "bad days" look like, but i always looked at intensity and duration of epsiodes an how they effect functioning (social, occupational, familial, relational, etc). people experience anxiety when things feel out of control.... maybe some recent news reports, perhapse the older children are away longer, etc.. which is making more salient her inability to shelter her loved ones from the dangers out there...... assessment and psychotherapy, possibly meds.... and breaks from the kids (you, grandparents, babysitter, whoever to watch them). unta assesses for the courts and can offer more. good luck Edited July 15, 2007 by Bier Meister Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 I guess I'll be the stealth therapist on the huddle boards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutrun Jellies Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 I also took your advice and gave her the day off. I've got the three kids today and she went out for a cup of coffee with a girlfriend at Starbucks, did a little shopping and came home in a great mood. My goal right now is to be supportive and she's trying as hard as possible just to get back to "normal." I am happy to say at least she recognizes there's an issue and is willing to do what it takes to just get back to dealing with the usual craziness around here. The good news is that she's had a few good days in a row. I'll keep my eye on things and look forward to the old "this too shall pass." Since I've got the kids today, I gotta run. It's back to Chutes and Ladders, Wiggles and a push on the swing set! The role of the father in the success of marriages and the raising of children can never be underestimated -- and it sounds like you are really tuned in to making the most of both. You're on the right path here, mwhff, keep it up. If your beloved enjoys some own time while you and your kids have your own adventurees -- and you and her get to do things you both enjoy together on a regular basis -- some with, some without the kids, I think you'll find life not only "gets back to normal" but may even be a whole lot better. Family life is a magical thing when family is the focus ... Good luck with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thews40 Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I know a little bit about this stuff so what I can tell you at this point: gently approach the idea of her talking to a therapist. Someone to talk to and that professional may be able to better diagnose what is going on in her head (if they feel it's neccessary for a follow up with a medical doctor, a good therapist will ask their clients to do so). If it has come to a point where it's that noticable after many years of good mental health, I highly recommend a "mental check up". That's my 2 cents... Probably nothing wrong with her per say, it could be a phase, but always better safe than sorry. Good advice here... stay away from the happy pills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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