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billay

Thought these were funny...

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The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its

yearly

contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for

common

words.

 

And the winners are:

 

1. Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

 

2. Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one

has gained.

 

3. Abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 

4. Esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

 

5. Willy-Nilly, adj. impotent.

 

6. Negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing

only a

nightgown.

 

7. Lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

 

8. Gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

 

9. Flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has

been run

over by a steamroller.

 

10. Balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

 

11. Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

 

12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by

proctologists.

 

13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

 

14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with

Yiddishisms.

 

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies

up onto

the roof and gets stuck there.

 

16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxers.

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