buddahj Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 she was diagnosed with cancer about 6 months ago. she had to have parts of her stomach & intestines removed about 4 months ago & has been in & out of the hospital ever since. she was rushed back to the hospital yesterday & was touch & go until about an hour ago. needless to say, my wife & her family are wrecks right now. this is the 1st time my kids have had to deal with anything like this. i feel so helpless right now. she was so closer to her mom...it just breaks my heart to see them her way. it sucks not being able to fix this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HowboutthemCowboys Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 sorry man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rovers Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Very sorry to hear of your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 I'm sorry to hear of your mother-in-law's passing. Love your wife and kids with all you've got in you. Love never fails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Love your wife and kids with all you've got in you. Sound advice here. You and your family have my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Sorry for your loss. Just being there for your wife and the kids will be the best thing you can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaP'N GRuNGe Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Sorry for your loss. May your family find peace and comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 very sorry to hear. my thoughts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 sorry man you are in my prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 thank you for all the kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Very sad. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Very sorry to hear; best wish/prayers to you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 (edited) My condolensces Praying for strength and healing and do not feel helpless ...rather just be there for them all , in all ways and offer support and strength You will be doing more than you realize Edited December 19, 2009 by isleseeya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Dick Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 So sorry to hear this. Peace to you and your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 my mother-in-law has been battling the same type of cancer for a few years now. she's recovering from hernia surgery now, the hernia probably brought on by all the chemo, etc. she is also very close to our kids and it will be traumatic for them when she does pass away. feel for you bro. your family is in our prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchico Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Prayers out to your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady.hawke Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 So sorry to learn of your loss. Death of a loved one is hard whenever it comes - it seems particularly cruel when it comes during the holidays. Having been through something similar, I learned that there is something you can do to help. Your wife is naturally beside herself and will be - that is grieving. Your children on the other hand, while also sad, are going to have natural questions about the death process, what happens now? - and worse. You can shield your overwhelmed wife from this and answer all the kid's questions honestly. Make yourself available for their questions. My point is, do everything you can to allow your wife to just be a daughter during this difficult time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 ugh, this stuff is so awful. sorry you all have to go through this. I will pray for peace for you and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 (edited) So sorry for your loss Buddah. I went through the exact same thing a little over a year ago. My wife was exceptionally close to her Mom. Your wife and family need you more than ever right now. My advice is for you is to just react. Let your wife grieve and just be a comforting presence for her. If she wants to just cry , be there with a hug. If she wants to talk just listen and reassure her that you are there for her. The first time she goes through things that she associated with her mom or goes through a holiday, or anniversary of her passing , is the hardest. It could be something as small as hearing a song or passing by a store that may trigger thoughts of her mom and make her sad. When my wife sees someone around her age with their Mom out doing mother daughter things together it hits her and reminds her of her loss. This happening around Christmas for you makes it even more difficult. Be a rock bro. Sometimes that means being there with her. Sometimes it means just giving her some alone time and taking the kids for the day. This is a huge moment for you as her husband. You can get her through this. My wife has made terrific progress in the 15 months since her moms passing and her head is in a much better place. Sure she has her moments still and her mom is never very far from her thoughts but she has progressed for sure. A line that I have repeated on here and a line that my wife said to me that truly delivered the message to me as to what she needed to me was this. Right when my MIL got sick we knew the prognosis was unfortunately grim. She had a very aggressive cancer with a low survival rate. My wife told me she was going to need to spend as much time humanly possible caring for her mom and being with her and in the event that she passed my wife said the aftermath as far as her state of mind was going to be a long difficult road. The line that got me was when she was trying to stress how strong she needed me to be for everybody she told me that I needed to be like a Marine. For some reason that particular line delivered to me what was expected of me. I wish you all the best bro and I send you and yours big prayers from NJ. Peace Edited December 20, 2009 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_the_swammi Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 everything Whomp said....much of his advice should bring peace and comfort. My prayers and thoughts are with your family.......and you, too, Buddah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 My thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 (edited) i want to thank you all again for all the words of encouragement. the funeral was today & my wife said something today that really struck home . i've been hanging out with the same group of friends for over 15 years. even though most of them didn't know my wife's mother very well, quite a few of them showed up today to pay their respects. afterwords, my wife said, "i always thought of them as your friends until today. now i know the're OUR friends." i never knew she felt that way until today. needless to say, we had a very emotional moment. Edited December 24, 2009 by buddahj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'canes2004 Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Wow, that is so tough this time of year. Very sorry for you and your family's loss. Whomp wrote some great words as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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