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The Irish Doggy

Dumb things overheard at the office

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There are some old bartending pranks that go on at my place. Rookies get nailed after a few shifts by the vets. I am by no means a vet but I tricked a waitress just this past Saturday.

 

Our place makes a point to granish every drink. Our bar looks like a fruit stand. Certain drinks just dont get a garnish. I was working the service bar and a waitress asked for a toasted almond. I made it and told her that it isnt commonly ordered so we dont keep the garnish behind the bar but she needed to go into the kitchen and ask the chef for a toast square. I told her the asst chef keeps mini toast squares in the fridge that we use for garnishing toasted almonds whenever we get them. She took it hook line and sinker and asked the chef.

 

Waitress: Mr. Chef I need a toast square to Garnish a Toasted almond

Chef : :tup:

Waitress: Chris told me we get them from you

Chef: :lol: He is messing with you

Waitress: :wacko:

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There are some old bartending pranks that go on at my place. Rookies get nailed after a few shifts by the vets. I am by no means a vet but I tricked a waitress just this past Saturday.

 

Our place makes a point to granish every drink. Our bar looks like a fruit stand. Certain drinks just dont get a garnish. I was working the service bar and a waitress asked for a toasted almond. I made it and told her that it isnt commonly ordered so we dont keep the garnish behind the bar but she needed to go into the kitchen and ask the chef for a toast square. I told her the asst chef keeps mini toast squares in the fridge that we use for garnishing toasted almonds whenever we get them. She took it hook line and sinker and asked the chef.

 

Waitress: Mr. Chef I need a toast square to Garnish a Toasted almond

Chef : :tup:

Waitress: Chris told me we get them from you

Chef: :lol: He is messing with you

Waitress: :wacko:

pranks on the newbs are always the best

:rofl:

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pranks on the newbs are always the best

:wacko:

 

When I started a vet bartender made me go to the kitchen and ask for a pitcher of steam :tup:

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pranks on the newbs are always the best

:wacko:

 

 

True, but they are apparently frowned upon here at thehuddle.

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I work in IT, so I touch everyones computer at some point. I noticed some dudes werent washing their hands after pissing, so I put up some signs that say "Employees must wash hands before returning to work". Below that I added, "Seriously, it's gross if you dont". It got the office making jokes, but for the most part seemed to be effective. I was talking about it with one guy as another guy (who oddly enough was one of the people I noticed not washing their hands) walks up and jumps in and says, "You think we need to wash hands even if its just going in to take a quick pee?".

My answer: "Umm... Really? Do you want me rubbing my balls all over your keyboard?" He chuckled, and walked away. He has since been washing his hands the few times I have been in there at the same time.

 

I find it pretty disgusting that grown men question if they should be washing their hands after pissing, especially in a work environment.

 

 

In my office the most I see is a 2 second rinse of like 3 fingers. I keep hand sanitizer in my desk.

 

 

This is why I make it a point to rub my balls on as many keyboards and mice as possible.... that way if I need to jump in on someone;s machine, I am basically just playing with myself.

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This is why I make it a point to rub my balls on as many keyboards and mice as possible.... that way if I need to jump in on someone;s machine, I am basically just playing with myself.
AND another person's ball sack. Break out the circle jerk.

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This is why I make it a point to rub my balls on as many keyboards and mice as possible.... that way if I need to jump in on someone;s machine, I am basically just playing with myself.

 

 

BC employee: My computer has a virus

BC: Adware, spyware ?

BC Employee: No Chylamidia

BC: :wacko:

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For my coworkers benefit, I always sterilize my hands with urine before leaving the bathroom.

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As many of you know, I'm a production engineer for an oil and gas company so one of my jobs includes designing pumping systems for oil wells.

 

 

Interesting. Do you work with Baker Hughes at all? They make some type of software that provides real-time statistics for drill heads. One night I was doing some change management work on a server of theirs and the work went south of cheese and the end result was that an oil platform somewhere in or around Alaska had to shut down until I could get their devices back on line.

 

 

 

Dumb things I've heard?

 

New Exe. Director talking to me: "The last thing I ever want to catch you doing is work. When I assign you an item you are to find someone and kick it down to them."

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BC employee: My computer has a virus

BC: Adware, spyware ?

BC Employee: No Chylamidia

BC: :wacko:

chuckle

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BC employee: My computer has a virus

BC: Adware, spyware ?

BC Employee: No Chylamidia

BC: :wacko:

 

:tup:

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BC employee: My computer has a virus

BC: Adware, spyware ?

BC Employee: No Chylamidia

BC: :wacko:

 

 

chuckle

 

 

Not sure why you are laughing wiegie, I got it from you.

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"We have to put it into Production first before we can test it"

-software developer

Kind of like this oldie but goodie...

 

"But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it"

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While this isn't a work environment per say, the weird thing I've heard on these boards is the Taz quote in my sig line.

 

And on the home front my wife on Monday night said, "No pulling Daddy's finger during Prayers."

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pranks on the newbs are always the best

:wacko:

 

 

we would send new apprentices to fetch left handed chef knives.

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Interesting. Do you work with Baker Hughes at all? They make some type of software that provides real-time statistics for drill heads. One night I was doing some change management work on a server of theirs and the work went south of cheese and the end result was that an oil platform somewhere in or around Alaska had to shut down until I could get their devices back on line.

 

Yes, the wireline division, chemical division and oil tools division. There are a different company to say the least.

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Not sure why you are laughing wiegie, I got it from you.

uh, that's exactly why I'm laughing

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pranks on the newbs are always the best

:tup:

 

 

we would send new apprentices to fetch left handed chef knives.

 

When I was in the Boy Scouts our troop always attended our councils yearly camporee( a camping & scouting skills weekend competition amongst all the troops in the same council). Upon arriving the newest scout in our troop was always delegated to go and borrow a left handed smoke shifter that had been forgotten.

 

Dumbest thing a co-worker ever said to me:

 

"The human race has had absolutey no impact on the planet earth." :wacko:

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Recent one I heard was another grand conspiracy theory: this one goes that all the so-called "big pharm" (major pharmacy companies), along with all the hospitals, doctors, gubmint etc etc are all in cahoots to prevent all these great "natural" or "alternative" cures from catching hold even though they magically cure everything from cancer to pink eye because they would lose money. I haven't had that odd mix of great amusement and disgust all at once since I heard the "there are so many blacks in jail because of a nationwide conspiracy between all the judges, lawyers and cops in the country" idiocy. Break out the tinfoil hats.

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Recent one I heard was another grand conspiracy theory: this one goes that all the so-called "big pharm" (major pharmacy companies), along with all the hospitals, doctors, gubmint etc etc are all in cahoots to prevent all these great "natural" or "alternative" cures from catching hold even though they magically cure everything from cancer to pink eye because they would lose money.

 

That's true.

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Well, it's time to shuffle the dice.

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we would send new apprentices to fetch left handed chef knives.

 

I recall wasting the taxpayers' money looking for a bucket of steam for about an hour and a half my first day on the Pensacola.

 

Well, it's time to shuffle the dice.

 

I'm going to start using that one. :wacko: Awesome.

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Well, it's time to shuffle the dice.

 

 

I'm going to start using that one. :wacko: Awesome.

me too

:tup:

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