cre8tiff Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife spends most of the day on Facebook and/or the Internet. Her cell phone goes off with Facebook postings and messages constantly. She wakes up and looks at Facebook. She has her laptop open and with her most of the day (I work at home, so oh lucky me, I get to see it). At night, when we are watching TV, laoptop on and chatting. I go to bed early and she is up until midnight. I have been trying real hard not to let it get to me, but it is. Anyone else having this in thier lives? I used to hit Facebook like once a day at most. Now I find myself looking at it just to see what she is doing. That seems like a slippery slope to me. Several times she has left it up and I have refrained from snooping. Same with her phone. She has been extremely faithful and I really do not think she is the type to be doing anything of that type, but it is hard not to feel a little insecure about all this. Are any of you wrestling with this as well? I could use a sounding board. I guess you could really say I need help before I end up being accusing or snooping.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) My wife got an iphone and took over my account because she didn't think she would like it. My facebook account is now at best a shared account dominated by my wife. I'm not thrilled when she's chatting and IM with guys but I trust her but it's usually old friends or people she plays Mafia Wars with. Everyone once in a while I will add an old piece of a$$ as a friend as a reminder to my wife that not all of the chicks I used to bang 20 years ago are roots. Keeps her on her toes. Edited March 31, 2011 by Clubfoothead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I have zero concerns about my wife being unfaithful, but she's on that damn Facebook constantly too and I hate it. I refuse to join, she thinks because old girlfriends will track me down, but really I find it to be a huge waste of time. My wife is now suddenly "friends" with people from grade school and spends hours looking at their baby pics. I just don't see the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife got an iphone and took over my account because she didn't think she would like it. My facebook account is now at best a shared account dominated by my wife. I'm not thrilled when she's chatting and IM with guys but I trust her but it's usually old friends or people she plays Mafia Wars with. Everyone once in a while I will add an old piece of a$$ as a friend as a reminder to my wife that not all of the chicks I used to bang 20 years ago are roots. Keeps her on her toes. Does she still insist that a panda is a marsupial? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife spends much more time on it than I do, but complains about it more when I'm on with my phone... which is still not very often. It sounds to me like she's just wrapped up in it. A lot of people don't have the time for active social lives these days and so Facebook serves as a surrogate for that. Not knowing any details, I wouldn't think it has anything to do with infidelity. The Huddle and FF is not so much different really. I'd say to try to get her interested in other things, engage her in other ways. When my wife is on too long I'll send her a message on Facebook that I love her and miss her and she gets the hint. Just be honest & tell her you're insecure with it, not because you don't trust her, but because you miss spending that time with her when she's not plugged in. My guess is it would flatter her more than upset her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbpfan1231 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife spends much more time on it than I do, but complains about it more when I'm on with my phone... which is still not very often. It sounds to me like she's just wrapped up in it. A lot of people don't have the time for active social lives these days and so Facebook serves as a surrogate for that. Not knowing any details, I wouldn't think it has anything to do with infidelity. The Huddle and FF is not so much different really. I'd say to try to get her interested in other things, engage her in other ways. When my wife is on too long I'll send her a message on Facebook that I love her and miss her and she gets the hint. Just be honest & tell her you're insecure with it, not because you don't trust her, but because you miss spending that time with her when she's not plugged in. My guess is it would flatter her more than upset her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 work and life keep my wife on the go, she's on facebook cause my daughter did an account for her. at the very end of the day she'll read email and check facebook and it's usually my daughter from college. It's all in the timing and how you say it but that would drive me nuts if she were hooked on that hobby. Tell my son i'm on a ghey site so he doesn't know i'm on the Huddle this much Good-luck Cre Worring isn't good for ya so it's gotta be worth bringing up, would i snoop if it were me, i don't know probably but the better option may be just an honest start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Does she still insist that a panda is a marsupial? Of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 A lot of people don't have the time for active social lives these days and so Facebook serves as a surrogate for that. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife spends most of the day on Facebook and/or the Internet. Her cell phone goes off with Facebook postings and messages constantly. She wakes up and looks at Facebook. She has her laptop open and with her most of the day (I work at home, so oh lucky me, I get to see it). At night, when we are watching TV, laoptop on and chatting. I go to bed early and she is up until midnight. I have been trying real hard not to let it get to me, but it is. Anyone else having this in thier lives? I used to hit Facebook like once a day at most. Now I find myself looking at it just to see what she is doing. That seems like a slippery slope to me. Several times she has left it up and I have refrained from snooping. Same with her phone. She has been extremely faithful and I really do not think she is the type to be doing anything of that type, but it is hard not to feel a little insecure about all this. Are any of you wrestling with this as well? I could use a sounding board. I guess you could really say I need help before I end up being accusing or snooping.. My wife does not spend much time on facebook. Personally I would snoop. I don't know either of you and I am absolutely not saying that something bad is going on. BUT, half of all marriages end in divorce. It's just a fact. Facebook and talking to old acquaintances has lead to a lot of issues in people's marriages that I've known (my wife and I had our own issues but FB had nothing to do with it). So I think you have at least two things going on. One that she is spending too much time and energy being caught up with semi-friends and the superficial posts and games they have on facebook. At some point I'd start to feel a little like second fiddle if she is so wrap up in a bunch of people online. And two you should be concerned with who she is talking to if it is taking up that much time. If its just her and some girlfriends doing chicken talk of wowing over each others baby pictures than it's no big deal. The time commitment that you are describing sounds like more than that. I would 100% find out what males she has listed as friends and see if there is any message or cross post history that you should be concerned with. I no longer subscribe to the theory that you can 100% trust anybody. It has nothing to do with the "type" of person or any particular traits. It's because people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit (you and I included). FB is one of those dark corners where secrets CAN be kept. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure everything is on the up and up. If you spent that many hours at a bar she would want to know if you were hanging out with females there and would rightly get a little concerned if you were. My Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Nothing serious from my wife in my house. My 14 and 21 year olds are glued to the damn thing. Cell phone goes off constantly for both of them. Makes me crazy. My sister on the other hand is a facebook stalker. She keeps up on so many people that it just amazes me. She is always calling me and telling me about a nephew or aunt etc. I think she has issues with facebook. It has her on at 8:30 at night when her husband goes to bed and I have gotten emails with time stamps at like 3:30 am. I know she is a lot like me with the sleep issues but stalking facebook sure isn't going to help you sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I'm on-line and on Facebook more than my wife is. She gives me crap about it, which annoys me because I'm not that much more inclined to be on-line when we're both home than she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife and I both have facebook accounts. She probably spends about 10 to 30 minutes on it a day. I spend a lot more time on mine, but that is playing games, not so much actually reading and responding to "friends". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife got an iphone and took over my account because she didn't think she would like it. My facebook account is now at best a shared account dominated by my wife. I'm not thrilled when she's chatting and IM with guys but I trust her but it's usually old friends or people she plays Mafia Wars with. Everyone once in a while I will add an old piece of a$$ as a friend as a reminder to my wife that not all of the chicks I used to bang 20 years ago are roots. Keeps her on her toes. I used to chat with your wife all the time. Seems like any time I was on after 11:00 pm she'd start up a chat conversation. Then I went through a busy period at work where I really didn't check facebook for several weeks or a month, and haven't heard from her since. I learned all kinds of neat stuff about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swashbucklers Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife is on Facebook quite a bit, but it is not an overwhelming amount of time. With two kids it is hard to find time and when the kids go to bed, we are normally not that far behind. I would say that I am on it more. I do not have a facebook account, but I use hers to play Bejeweled Blitz. It is my job to destroy her friends on a weekly basis and post the high score! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I used to chat with your wife all the time. Seems like any time I was on after 11:00 pm she'd start up a chat conversation. Then I went through a busy period at work where I really didn't check facebook for several weeks or a month, and haven't heard from her since. I learned all kinds of neat stuff about you. She asked me over the weekend if I pi$$ed you off recently since it's been a while since she heard from you. She'll be happy to know you were busy. My wife loves her Perch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife does not spend much time on facebook. Personally I would snoop. I don't know either of you and I am absolutely not saying that something bad is going on. BUT, half of all marriages end in divorce. It's just a fact. Facebook and talking to old acquaintances has lead to a lot of issues in people's marriages that I've known (my wife and I had our own issues but FB had nothing to do with it). So I think you have at least two things going on. One that she is spending too much time and energy being caught up with semi-friends and the superficial posts and games they have on facebook. At some point I'd start to feel a little like second fiddle if she is so wrap up in a bunch of people online. And two you should be concerned with who she is talking to if it is taking up that much time. If its just her and some girlfriends doing chicken talk of wowing over each others baby pictures than it's no big deal. The time commitment that you are describing sounds like more than that. I would 100% find out what males she has listed as friends and see if there is any message or cross post history that you should be concerned with. I no longer subscribe to the theory that you can 100% trust anybody. It has nothing to do with the "type" of person or any particular traits. It's because people are people. And overall people F-up. Some more than others but people in general do some stupid chit (you and I included). FB is one of those dark corners where secrets CAN be kept. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure everything is on the up and up. If you spent that many hours at a bar she would want to know if you were hanging out with females there and would rightly get a little concerned if you were. My IMO, Facebook is just another communication tool that someone predisposed to cheating would use to hook up. It is not an evil entity that has the power to shatter otherwise solid relationships. I have no doubt that guys have flirted with my wife on the thing, same as would happen at work or the supermarket. Bottom line, we trust each other and have open communication. If she's hell-bent on cheating, I can't stop her, I'll find out eventually and it just means we're not meant to be. I'm not going to stress over things I can't control, and I sure as hell ain't snooping. I would go ballistic if I found her going through my email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rajncajn Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 IMO, Facebook is just another communication tool that someone predisposed to cheating would use to hook up. It is not an evil entity that has the power to shatter otherwise solid relationships. I have no doubt that guys have flirted with my wife on the thing, same as would happen at work or the supermarket. Bottom line, we trust each other and have open communication. If she's hell-bent on cheating, I can't stop her, I'll find out eventually and it just means we're not meant to be. I'm not going to stress over things I can't control, and I sure as hell ain't snooping. I would go ballistic if I found her going through my email. This I guarantee more relationships have broken up over mistrust than Facebook. Unless given a real cause, you should never snoop on your spouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I used to chat with your wife all the time. Seems like any time I was on after 11:00 pm she'd start up a chat conversation. Then I went through a busy period at work where I really didn't check facebook for several weeks or a month, and haven't heard from her since. I learned all kinds of neat stuff about you. I chat with her too. Funny thing is I thought it was Club in the beginning. I was confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clubfoothead Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I chat with her too. Funny thing is I thought it was Club in the beginning. I was confused. She's loves her taz too but you ain't been AWOL. She's going to make you move in with us and get a 9-5 if you aren't careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I wouldn't worry about it. Facebook can be very addictive to new users. I've been using it since there were only 50 million users on it so I am numb to the novelty. My wife, however, started using it back in November and she is addicted to it. She has a couple of her old boyfriends on her friends list and exchanges messages with them but because I know this only because she told me, I don't worry at all (Not that I would to begin with). It is in our nature (men) to be very concerned or jealous in these type of situations. It is a primal instinct sort of like how a male lion will kill off all male cubs after he takes over a pride. For me, I'm addicted to world of warcraft. After the kids go to bed and the wife heads off to bed I am on line, on vent and in game. I play probably 4 hours a night during the week and can easily do 6 hours a night on the weekends. This doesn't bother her because she is already in bed and the kids are as well. I would say, when spending time with the other, don't be connected to facebook. It can be rude to a point. IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My wife is on it quite a bit, but mostly it is updating pictures of the kids which comes in handy as many of my relatives are not local, so do not see the kids that often. I do get frustrated every so often and give her grief about it every so often, but I try to not let it get to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 That's it. I'm friending all your wives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bier Meister Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 wife has an account but hardly uses it. i am on the comp a lot when i'm home and just have it up as "background noise." i used to chat with nub's wife also. first conversation i was trying to get him and she was logged into his account (she told me it was her). i think we chatted off and on for an hour or so. very nice gal clubber. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I wouldn't worry about it. Facebook can be very addictive to new users. Or not. I found it banal and tedious. Haven't checked mine for nine months now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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