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How will Taz meet his demise?


wiegie
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A little bit of fun--we love ya, Taz.  

33 members have voted

  1. 1. How will Taz meet his demise?

    • While working on set, a boom falls on his head and crushes his skull.
      5
    • While working in Vancouver, he gets trampled and mauled by a runaway moose.
      2
    • While donating his marrow, a hot nurse enters the room. Taz pops a boner so suddenly that the doctor in charge of removing his marrow gets startled and accidently stabs Taz in the heart.
      0
    • Accidentally trips into the street and is run over by the convertible carrying Norv Turner in the Chargers? Super Bowl Champions parade.
      7
    • While helping to shoot the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit video, Taz convinces a supermodel to have sex with him. Just as Taz is putting on the condom, he develops a severe latex allergy and subsequently goes into anaphylactic shock.
      3
    • At the age of 107, Taz?s great-grandchildren decide it?s finally time to pull the plug on the doddering old man who won?t shut up about his fantasy football championships six decades earlier.
      5
    • Puddy. :unsure:
      5
    • Other--please describe
      6


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Other: Beaten to death by Jonathan Stewart while trying to actually, literally hug his nuts. JStew is acquitted of murder on a plea of self defense.

 

 

this had me spitting my beer out at 10 in the morning. :wacko::

Edited by tazinib1
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Other: Beaten to death by Jonathan Stewart while trying to actually, literally hug his nuts. JStew is acquitted of murder on a plea of self defense.

son of a biatch--this post reminded me that I had planned to add the option:

 

"suffocated to death while sniffing Jonathan Stewart's jock"

 

:wacko:

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In a drunk 3 day bender with some buddies Taz gets over confident and suggests a "hog" challenge as he sees a 350 lb Rupaul look a like walk into the bar. After convincing her that the smell of vomitt and urine is actually a new cologne by Giorgio Armoni he takes her home for some pig wrestling. As convincing as Taz was with the cologne story she convinces him she simple looks heavier than she is and that her sitting on his face will cause no harm. After settling down on Taz he is quickly overwhelmed by the stench of.....well we may never know as he died from asphyxiation.

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This is how I see it going down:

 

Taz lands a sweet gig that is going to last for 50 days up somewhere in Canada (Vancouver) for a new blockbuster movie starring Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson, Sophia Loren, Nathan Fuller Rachael Weiss, Denzel Washington and Carrot Top. The movie is about Mussolini's ex-mistress decides to go to Canada to start a genetic research lab to bring back Mussolini & Mother Teressa in an attempt to overthrow the Canadian government. While on set, a new assistant to the lead makeup artist - a young (35 yo) redhead with ample rackage - catches Taz's eye. During a break, Taz and the redhead (named Saffron) go off to and Taz walks her through all of his work. Right before the break is over, Saffron throws herself passionately at Taz and he cannot resist her charm.

 

The next thing Taz realizes is waking up tied to a chair with Ford & Washington dressed as Zed and the pawnshop guy from Pulp Fiction. Taz begins to freak out and Saffron comes in to the room dressed up like a female gimp. She tells him that, its nothing personal but she is going to sell all of his lighting equipment to some scrap metal dealers but in order to do that, she will have to let Ford & Washington go all Pulp fiction on his butt (pun intended). All of a sudden, Jack Nicholson comes crashing through the door by hacking at it with an ax. Harrison does shoot first but Taz kicks one of his flip-flops off and distracts him right as he fires...missing Jack but hitting Carrot Top in the head, killing him. Jack finally gets through the door but Denzel throws a Democrat support which tries to go down Jack but out of nowhere, Sophia Loren comes into the room and wisks Skylive away for a weekend of stimulating conversation at a local beauty spa.

 

Using the distraction of Loren & Nicholson, Taz slips out of his bounds and makes his way to a corner cafe' where he runs into Jerry Seinfeld. They get to talking for a bit and Taz realizes he has to take a power dump so he slips into the bathroom, drops a deuce and then realizes Elaine stole all of the TP. In a fit of anger (while pushing out the last plop left) a blood vessel bursts in his head and he dies on the potty. An hour later, Tony Soprano comes in and eats a sammich while filming a youtube video on the lifecycle of a best boy.

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This is how I see it going down:

 

Taz lands a sweet gig that is going to last for 50 days up somewhere in Canada (Vancouver) for a new blockbuster movie starring Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson, Sophia Loren, Nathan Fuller Rachael Weiss, Denzel Washington and Carrot Top. The movie is about Mussolini's ex-mistress decides to go to Canada to start a genetic research lab to bring back Mussolini & Mother Teressa in an attempt to overthrow the Canadian government. While on set, a new assistant to the lead makeup artist - a young (35 yo) redhead with ample rackage - catches Taz's eye. During a break, Taz and the redhead (named Saffron) go off to and Taz walks her through all of his work. Right before the break is over, Saffron throws herself passionately at Taz and he cannot resist her charm.

 

The next thing Taz realizes is waking up tied to a chair with Ford & Washington dressed as Zed and the pawnshop guy from Pulp Fiction. Taz begins to freak out and Saffron comes in to the room dressed up like a female gimp. She tells him that, its nothing personal but she is going to sell all of his lighting equipment to some scrap metal dealers but in order to do that, she will have to let Ford & Washington go all Pulp fiction on his butt (pun intended). All of a sudden, Jack Nicholson comes crashing through the door by hacking at it with an ax. Harrison does shoot first but Taz kicks one of his flip-flops off and distracts him right as he fires...missing Jack but hitting Carrot Top in the head, killing him. Jack finally gets through the door but Denzel throws a Democrat support which tries to go down Jack but out of nowhere, Sophia Loren comes into the room and wisks Skylive away for a weekend of stimulating conversation at a local beauty spa.

 

Using the distraction of Loren & Nicholson, Taz slips out of his bounds and makes his way to a corner cafe' where he runs into Jerry Seinfeld. They get to talking for a bit and Taz realizes he has to take a power dump so he slips into the bathroom, drops a deuce and then realizes Elaine stole all of the TP. In a fit of anger (while pushing out the last plop left) a blood vessel bursts in his head and he dies on the potty. An hour later, Tony Soprano comes in and eats a sammich while filming a youtube video on the lifecycle of a best boy.

 

 

:wacko:

 

Glad to know I killed Carrot Top in the process.

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Other: those weren't facebook viruses, but communications from Morpheus. While we all assume Taz is dead, he'll actually be fighting cyber-agents in dark sunglasses in the Matrix, saving our world. For Taz is The One.

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Other: those weren't facebook viruses, but communications from Morpheus. While we all assume Taz is dead, he'll actually be fighting cyber-agents in dark sunglasses in the Matrix, saving our world. For Taz is The One.

 

 

lol..."youre planet?"

 

One of the corniest lines ever in film. And I can't find it on the web damnit.

 

 

ETA: I found it

Edited by tazinib1
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