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Coles threatened by Snyder?


rajncajn
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Four football fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team in the NFC East and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the New York fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Giants!" as he fell to his doom.

 

Not wanting to be out done, the Eagles fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming "This is for Da Eagles!"

 

Seeing this, the Cowboy fan walked over and shouted "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Redskin fan off the side of the mountain.

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Joe Gibbs, clearly upset about the Deadskins's losing record, decides to find out from Bill Belichick what his secret is. So, Gibbs travels up to a Boston and asks Belichick, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?"

 

Belichick responds by calling Tom Brady over. "Tom, who's your father's brother's nephew?" Brady answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Belichick turns to Gibbs and says, "That's the secret, Joe. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback."

 

Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Gibbs returns to Washington and the Redskins work-out. He promptly calls over Patrick Ramsey. "Patty! Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Ramsey looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?" Gibbs (disgusted) says, "OK."

 

During practice, Ramsey calls over Clinton Portis. "CP, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Portis answers, "Duh! That's easy. It's me!"

 

After practice, Ramsey catches up with Gibbs: "Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Clinton Portis."

 

Gibbs (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Tom Brady!!!"

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Joe Gibbs, clearly upset about the Deadskins's losing record, decides to find out from Bill Belichick what his secret is. So, Gibbs travels up to a Boston and asks Belichick, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?"

 

Belichick responds by calling Tom Brady over. "Tom, who's your father's brother's nephew?"  Brady answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Belichick turns to Gibbs and says, "That's the secret, Joe. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback."

 

Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Gibbs returns to Washington and the Redskins work-out. He promptly calls over Patrick Ramsey. "Patty! Who's your father's brother's nephew?"  Ramsey looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?" Gibbs (disgusted) says, "OK."

 

During practice, Ramsey calls over Clinton Portis. "CP, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Portis answers,  "Duh! That's easy. It's me!"

 

After practice, Ramsey catches up with Gibbs: "Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Clinton Portis."

 

Gibbs (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Tom Brady!!!"

 

728824[/snapback]

 

 

 

:D

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Joe Gibbs, clearly upset about the Deadskins's losing record, decides to find out from Bill Belichick what his secret is. So, Gibbs travels up to a Boston and asks Belichick, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?"

 

Belichick responds by calling Tom Brady over. "Tom, who's your father's brother's nephew?"  Brady answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Belichick turns to Gibbs and says, "That's the secret, Joe. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback."

 

Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Gibbs returns to Washington and the Redskins work-out. He promptly calls over Patrick Ramsey. "Patty! Who's your father's brother's nephew?"  Ramsey looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?" Gibbs (disgusted) says, "OK."

 

During practice, Ramsey calls over Clinton Portis. "CP, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Portis answers,  "Duh! That's easy. It's me!"

 

After practice, Ramsey catches up with Gibbs: "Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Clinton Portis."

 

Gibbs (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Tom Brady!!!"

 

728824[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

It would be funny if was original

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There's a guy from Washington, DC (Redskins fan) driving from DC to Dallas, and a guy from Dallas (Cowboys fan) driving from Dallas to DC. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Redskins fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"

 

Likewise the Cowboys fan scrambles out of his car and looks at the wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Cowboy fan walks over to the Redskin and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. The Redskin fan thinks for a moment and says, " You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck."

 

So the Cowboys fan pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Redskins fan, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our newfound understanding and friendship."

 

The Redskins fan says, "You're *** right!" and grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half of the bottle the Redskins fan hands it back to the Cowboys fan and says, "Your turn!"

 

The Cowboys fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

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There's a guy from Washington, DC (Redskins fan) driving from DC to Dallas, and a guy from Dallas (Cowboys fan) driving from Dallas to DC. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Redskins fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"

 

Likewise the Cowboys fan scrambles out of his car and looks at the wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Cowboy fan walks over to the Redskin and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. The Redskin fan thinks for a moment and says, " You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck."

 

So the Cowboys fan pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Redskins fan, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our newfound understanding and friendship."

 

The Redskins fan says, "You're *** right!" and grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half of the bottle the Redskins fan hands it back to the Cowboys fan and says, "Your turn!"

 

The Cowboys fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

 

728835[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

 

weak

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Joe Gibbs had put together the perfect Redskins team for 2005. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super Bowl win.

 

Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnia soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away--ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour--bulls-eye! Right through the open window!

 

"I've got to get this guy," Gibbs says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football and the Redskins go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of Super Bowl IV, and when Gibbs asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.

 

"Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the Super Bowl."

 

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You're not my son."

 

"I don't think you understand, mother" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans."

 

"No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their life last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight ..."

 

The old lady pauses, in tears. "... I'll never forgive you for moving us to Washington."

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There's a guy from Washington, DC (Redskins fan) driving from DC to Dallas, and a guy from Dallas (Cowboys fan) driving from Dallas to DC. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Redskins fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"

 

Likewise the Cowboys fan scrambles out of his car and looks at the wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Cowboy fan walks over to the Redskin and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. The Redskin fan thinks for a moment and says, " You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck."

 

So the Cowboys fan pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Redskins fan, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our newfound understanding and friendship."

 

The Redskins fan says, "You're *** right!" and grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half of the bottle the Redskins fan hands it back to the Cowboys fan and says, "Your turn!"

 

The Cowboys fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

 

728835[/snapback]

 

 

 

A friend of mine flipped his car back in December down in Hickory, NC. I was following him and we were both over the legal limit. I didn't know where I was so I had a hard time giving directions to the 911 dispatcher. It ended up taking them an hour to find us. The cops tried to give me a DUI but I told them that I drank a bottle of Wild Irish Rose while I waited for them. They didn't buy the story but they didn't give me a DUI either.

 

This has nothing to do with anything.

Edited by Jumpin Johnies
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A man depressed about the Redskins Super Bowl prospects decides to kill himself.

 

In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his Redskins jersey as his last statement.

 

A neighbor, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Redskins jersey and dress the man in panties and a bra. The man, totally confused asks why.

 

The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."

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