Steelers to lose half their SB trophies

[BeeR]

Steelers to Lose Super Bowl Trophies

Pittsburgh, PA

 

The Super Bowl XLIII Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the only team to win six titles, will soon be losing half of those trophies. After a meeting between the NFL Commissioner and President Obama, Obama announced he would call for redistribution of half of the Steelers' Super Bowl victories and trophies to less fortunate teams in the league.

 

"We live everyday in the country that invented the Super Bowl," said Obama. "We want everyone to share in this Great American tradition in the wake of these difficult times." Obama’s plan calls for the Steelers, one of the most successful NFL teams, to give half of their Super Bowl trophies to teams that are not nearly as successful.

 

"The Detroit Lions are just as much a part of the same fiber of the NFL as the Steelers, and so are entitled to a Super Bowl Trophy as well," Obama proclaimed in his plan that he imposed on the NFL.

 

The Pittsburgh Steelers, by virtue of hard work, team play, smart drafting, responsible investing in free agents, careful hiring of coaches, emphasizing team play, low tolerance for thugs and lazy prima donnas, and excellent community service and commitment to their fans, have prospered greatly during the past 30 years and won six Super Bowl Trophies. But President Obama’s plan calls for them to carry the larger burden of the NFL’s less successful teams. Obama explained: "In these difficult times, we are all in this together. We must help those less fortunate to reclaim the NFL Dream for every team, for every city and for every fan."

 

"My plan will not affect 31 of the 32 teams in the league," Obama explained. "That means over 95 percent of the teams in the NFL will not have to worry about losing any Super Bowl Trophies. The worst teams in the NFL and the teams that can’t seem to get a break and win a championship will no longer have to worry about going without one. We are a country - and a league - of hope, and we need to make a change! The color of the teams' uniforms should not matter, nor the personnel decisions that the teams make, or even their performance, but rather if they are a member of this great American league."

 

"The Super Bowl XLIII trophy will be redistributed to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Through no fault of their own, the Lions could not manage a victory all season and this trophy will help ease the pain of their lack of performance and give them hope once again. The Super Bowl XL trophy will go directly to the Steelers' division rival, the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals have also 'fallen on hard times' and have never won a Super Bowl. This victory will bring a smile to hundreds of Bengal fans all over the world and they can at last celebrate. Finally, one of the Steelers' two Super Bowl victories over the Dallas Cowboys will go back to the Cowboys, since the league needs to provide hope in the face of difficulty and uncertainty. Giving it to what Cowboy fans call 'America's Team' will provide a shining beacon of hope to all! I know this is a heavy burden for the Steelers, but so what? They still have 3 of their trophies. Together we can all prosper!"

 

 

 

All hope is not lost for Pittsburgh fans though, as Obama has another plan in place. He met with MLB commissioner Bud Selig on a similar plan, and the New York Yankees will redistribute two of their world series trophies to the Pittsburgh Pirates as a "supplement" to their losing 16 straight seasons (and counting). "This plan will help stimulate the Pirates and enable them to regain the American Dream," Obama explained. He will also be meeting with the NHL and Michael Phelps in the upcoming weeks as this issue is high on his agenda for "Hope and Change!"

 

Edited March 27, 2009 by BeeR

[Randall]

This is from a right wing blog. Doesn't it belong at the Tailgate?

 

I

[BeeR]

It's just a joke; lighten up Francis. Yeah guess I shoulda put on the tailgate though.