A little irony

[isleseeya]

not sure if this was posted before ....

 

 

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

 

 

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

 

3. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

 

4. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

 

5. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

 

6. Is there another word for synonym?

 

7. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

 

8. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

 

7. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 

8.. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

 

9. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

 

10. How is it possible to have a "civil" war?

 

11.. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

 

12. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 

13. Whose ! cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

 

 

14.. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

 

 

15. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

 

16. Can an atheist get insurance for acts of God?