THE WRENCH'S OPTIMIST CODE

[cliaz]

THE WRENCH'S OPTIMIST CODE

 

 

 

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease

your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

 

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least

accessible corner. (generally after it has hit your toe)

 

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a

busy signal.

 

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because

you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were

in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every

time)

 

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone

rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know

increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine

won't work, it will.

 

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional

to the reach.

 

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from

the aisle arrive last.

 

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your

boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is

cold.

 

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,

they will have adjacent lockers.

 

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich

of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the

newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

 

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

 

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what

you are talking about.

 

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.

 

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Wilson's Law:As soon as you find a product that you really like, they

will stop making it

[rocknrobn26]

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were

in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every

time)

 

Should be called the robin law. Never get behind me in a line. It is ALWAYS the slowest!